Things---secrets---plans---pics

And enough said about that.

So, January is flying by too, just like all the other months. In this case though, it can't fly by fast enough. I am so very tired of being cooped up in this apartment, and there is nothing else to do with the weather the way it is.

Janelle, Nick and Brodie are in North Carolina, and have been for quite a while. Since they have been gone, Brodie has begun pulling up, and walking around things, holding on. He is only eight months old! He will be walking before I see him again, and I am missing all of it. I guess I'd better get used to it, as it sounds like they are making plans to live there...good heavens, what will I do with out my Brodie? I can't/don't blame them in the least, I just don't know how I am going to make it without my baby. Seriously. And I guess I'd better let you all in on a little secret---Brodie will be having a brother or sister this August. I know, I know....and so does she...but she is happy about it. And so am I. I hope it's a girl this time. :)

I can't help but seriously think about leaving the area myself, if all of my kids are going to be gone. They are the only reason I am here, as I hate the weather here, and it is so interfering with my health and my life. No, I would not go to NC, it's just not my place of choice. I would head back west...to northern Arizona or maybe New Mexico. I know how much some of my friends hate it there, but I really like it there. I love the desert, the desert mountains, the colors there, the peaceful feeling. I just like that part of the country. Jordy is still here, but he does not need me/like me they way the others have, so there is nothing to keep me here at all anymore. I guess I will just have to think about it for awhile....

Saturday morning. My favorite. I have go to get out of this house today...but it's currently MINUS TWELVE out there. I think I will go to the mall and walk awhile...yes, that is a perfect idea.

Happy day. :)

Stop the world and let me off

Damned if it isn't Monday once again. How does this happen? Have you ever wanted time to stop for awhile? I mean, on a Saturday, when the weather is beautiful, when the trees and flowers are in bloom, time would just stop for a couple of days?I wouldn't be sad to live in an extended Saturday for awhile. I have felt this way other times in my life, but usually when I was so ecstatically happy that I didn't want it to end. Now - and I suppose because I am getting older - it would be okay if time would stop when things are quiet, I am alone, when there is no problem chatter in my head. Funny how things become so much calmer with age, that the things we want are so different. So, yes here it is Monday again, and that's okay.

It was a good weekend, quiet, just the way I like it. I went to see my sis on Saturday, I was disturbed by how bad she looked, hopefully that will improve soon. She has surgery today, to remove her spinal stimulator battery box and to clean out the area. About two weeks ago, she had to have the battery replaced in that box and that is how the area became infected in the first place. I will see her after work today, if I can still walk.

I started the medication over the weekend, it makes me tired and it causes some strange electrical feeling in my head. I have taken it before but don't remember this feeling. I am only on 25% of the amount needed to help me, I have to increase gradually. It's hard to imagine that I will be able to tolerate the full dose, but I am willing to try anything, as yesterday was a particularly bad day, just walking across my apartment was a problem. This morning I feel no stronger and I am wondering how I will make it through the day.

It snowed all day long yesterday and the wind was howling all weekend. However, this morning there is only a dusting of the white stuff on the grassy areas. I am hoping that was winter's last hurrah. Have a good day. I'm out.

This and that

We survived our four days together and Soul made it home safe and sound...eventually. I understand she had a bit of a rough time of it, but i suppose it makes for good story material, because you can't find any other good in the weather in Iowa in January. Ugh. When we were planning this get-away, I looked at the extended forecast and it was smooth sailing all the way..riiight. Even up to the day before the storm, they were saying minor-minor-minor, and once it started snowing, it was just a problem. Overnight though, they changed their minds...and issued a warning. How sad that all these people spend all this money to go to school to be a meteorologist, they spend gazillions on computer equipment and still cannot predict a snowstorm. Even when it's already falling...Just goes to show you that us humans cannot outdo Mother Nature, and I kind of like it that way. However, I felt bad for Brenda. I had hoped that interstate was in better shape than it must have been. It sure wouldn't have bothered me had she just stayed, but I knew that wasn't an option. :) Oldest's boyfriend did call and offer to drive her there in the truck, and I knew it must be bad for him to do that, but she didn't like that idea at all, insisting she could handle it. And she did just fine. I was happy to hear that she was safe at home, though,

We ended up with eight inches of the stuff , by the way. More coming tomorrow..woo hoo!

Brenda and I had a great time these past days. After she left, it was a little quiet here. That's a good thing sometimes and a sad thing sometimes. I spent the day doing what I didn't do when she was, got caught up on the housework, she must think I'm a terrible slob, I didn't do ANYTHING. Keeping busy when your heart is a little sad is the best way I know to beat the blues...so that's what I did. I spent the remainder of the day on my rear end, until we went to church last evening...lazy much?

Today. kiddos coming to dinner. What am I cooking? I have no idea...I suppose I had better get that figured out...

Happy Sunday. :)

Big Screen, lots of seats...

It's Friday already! Soul has been here since late Tuesday and the time has flown by. She has to leave in the morning...and of course, there is a (hopefully) minor ice storm predicted for today..Poor Brenda, she couldn't get in and out of Iowa without a typical Midwest weather issue.

We really have been surprisingly quiet and low key. We are old, after all. There has been alot of talking...ummm, my voice just might quit - I don't remember the last time it was used this much. We did get out on Wednesday and go to a movie...you all don't know this but I hadn't been inside a theatre since 1995..when she found that out, she was insistent that I go and see the inside of one again. We saw 7 pounds, it was worth the time. :) Then, once we got home and out of the million miles an hour wind and snow...we discovered that we were minus one cell phone, and after a few calls, had to go back out and retrieve it at the theatre. We were very lucky that it was found, can you imagine being this far away from home, with several hundred miles to travel and no phone?

We had most of the kiddos over for dinner last evening...they feel like Brenda is part of the family, (I'm sorry Brenda...teehee, but when you are part of THIS family, that means getting in on all the crap that goes on, too). But anyway, they had never met her before, but it feels like she is just part of the clan. Brenda literally saved the day with an idea from her experience for my daughter. Had she not been here, I don't know how things might have turned out. Isn't it funny how some people are just meant to be together? I exploded a cake, after telling Brenda that it was impossible to mess this recipe up, ummm yea...operator error on the oven. I mean, I have only lived in this apartment for six months now...and still can't work the appliances. It was a HUGE mess and took me awhile to recover. She thought it was pretty hilarious, and I can't wait to read about it on her page. Ugh...

Today, we are supposed to drive south to my old town...it depends on how serious the weather folks are. I don't think terrorizing her on her last day here is the way to send her off.

It was a nice surprise to hear from Mary on soul's phone last night. She called, I had never talked to her...oh my, what a BEAUTIFUL southern voice, beautiful lady, inside and out.

I will let you all know what we end up doing today..I know we are going to go out and look for some trouble somewhere...and maybe look is too strong a word, it seems to find us no matter where we go. Later, taters..

Asses and elbows

I managed to accomplish A LOT of work yesterday. I locked my office door, and threatened anyone who thought they should be allowed to enter anyway. I now only have about four weeks of work to finish in the next three days, but I'm gaining.

I don't think I mentioned that I bought another car on Friday - and holy crap, it's a Chrysler! A 300M actually, a used one that came in on trade in a Cadillac deal. It is beautiful, and I say that a little in shock myself, as I don't do Chrysler, or Dodge or Ford, for that matter. I stole it for a song of course, and I really, really enjoy driving it. The Grand Am that I am already making payments on will be handed over to Janelle, along with the tiny payment, because she cannot continue making the huge payment she has on her nearly worn out vehicle. I don't like having to do it this way, but the circumstances warrant some kind of action, as she needs a car that she can afford and depend on.

My drive home last night at eight o'clock was a white knuckle ride - the snow was literally pounding down on me, nearly blinding. The twenty miles of dark highway between my house and the dealership was treacherous, and I about pulled over to sit on the side of the highway all night. I am tired of making these kinds of drives, this winter has been relentless. If all my drive time could be added up, I'll bet that I would find I have spent YEARS behind the wheel of a car, and I cannot remember a time when it's been so nerve wracking and desperate. I have never, ever been afraid in a car, but I think I am just about fed up with it - although there certainly is no public transportation or taxi service available in the boondocks in which I reside.

I didn't throw up last night! Maybe it was just a bug? A middle of the night only bug, but a bug nonetheless. Hmmmm...that would make it a nocturnal bug. I don't like the sound of that. :)

Today Mark and I will travel to the city to see my Mom before her surgery. I hope the highways are in better condition, I would hate to think that she would have to reschedule. I am praying that this will give her less pain and allow her to get out of bed and live a little. These past three years have been way too hard on her, she needs a break.

I wish you all the best Tuesday ever, or whatever day it is in your corner of the world. Later.

My two quarters

Another day, another fifty cents...

Wednesday, am I right? I am a little out of sorts this morning, maybe I haven't woke all the way up yet. Yesterday was such a nerve wracking day - and really, I don't know why. I went for physical therapy, and that was quite a trip. I have never experienced anything of the sort before, and I had no idea what to expect. The little girl that worked on me (and I emphasize the word little, btw) was a real sweetheart. She was tiny and cute and blonde, but man---I think she could literally move a mountain if she wanted to! By the time I left there, a full HOUR later, I had been beaten up and worked over, and pretty much left for dead. All kidding aside, this was a HUGE thing for me, you need to know that NO ONE touches me. Seriously. I hate to have someone's hands all over me, unless they are invited and wanted by me (I feel I had to throw that one in there, or you all would think I was NOT a good wife, lol). I do not like a doctor's hands on me, I do not like a hairdresser's hands on me, I will not get a massage for this very reason (and that might explain the condition of my hair, while we're on the subject, lol). But once again, I must say that while I joke about this, I don't like it. At all. So, knowing what I would be facing yesterday, made the day a little rough. Surprisingly though, that wasn't the bad part of the whole thing. The bad part was that she really, REALLY made my neck feel better. Really. Until I left there, and went back outside in the single degree weather, and holy-hell, my neck froze up and hurt badly the rest of the day. By the time I got home last night, all I could do was run for the heat pad, and swallow pills for the inevitable headache. Well, that and drink beer. Which I did. Two Michelob Ultra's later, I was on the mend. The really great part about this? I get to do it again, in fact - I get to do it twice a week, for the next three weeks! Woohoo!

The rest of the afternoon at work, was tense. TENSE. In a place that doesn't even understand that word, but it's the only way to describe it. Owner is working on the buy/sell agreement with the buyer, and that has him all up in arms, and had me reading and re-reading every sentence, and then analyzing every little thing for him. It's okay, I understand the need and the reason, and you can bet I have his back in every little instance, but is this not why we are paying a lawyer? Just askin'...

I have work upon work upon work, to do. I have no parts man, and a service manager on Tuesday's and Thursday's. The rest of the week, it's all up to me. And I am showing Mark how to do it all, and he really is getting it. But to learn all there is back there, takes months. MONTHS. Of course, every strange issue that come's up, has to involve me. I have decisons to make, circumstances to explain, procedures to teach. The phone rings constantly with another problem of some sort, and the idea, let alone the actual reality, of getting anything else done is a joke. By the time I leave that place in the evening, my brain is mush. I always think I can stay late and begin my OWN job in the evening, but there is no way. Ahh...see? This is what happens when you want to run the show. You actually get to. Argh...

Janelle arrived in North Carolina right on time, no issues with the weather or luggage or anything, and that has to be a minor miracle, at the very least. I didn't ask her how wonderful the weather was when she got there, I was afraid I would cry. The reality of where she was going and how nice it was going to be there, hit me when I opened the coat closet yesterday, and her coat was still hanging there. It's hard to believe that just a short plane ride away, people are NOT bundled up like freakin' eskimos. Another snow storm predicted for late in the weekend, just so you all know...

I hope that your Wednesday is awesome. I hope mine is, too. I could go for a little awesome, hell - just stress free would be good enough for me. Like that will ever happen. But have a good day, whatever you choose to do. :) Spell check, please come home...

Just call me Bonnie..

I DID go shopping yesterday, and I survived! If any of you have been reading my blog very long, you already know that I HATE to shop, and rarely, RARELY do. Yesterday, I went SHOPPING with my daughter, to buy her some new things before she leaves for North Carolina. And I made it! teehee

It was a good day, the roads and highways were still pretty awful, but I just stuck my nose farther into my book and let her drive, all my kids are good, safe drivers, and that's saying alot, I don't say that about many. But I think it's because I taught them well (and yes, I know that sounds bad but I mean it)...and although they have all had their issues in the car, (like going too fast) I would ride across the country with any of them.

She got several new things, I am not one to pay much attention, I just pay. Her outlook is very good for the situation, and I am proud of her.

I actually bought a few things for me at Sephora, a store I had never been in, but have shopped at online many times. While I was there, I had my hands full of small make-upy type things and my damned phone kept ringing, either my boss or my employees...lol, I would talk first to him and explain things and then, instead of him telling the employees what I said, he would have them call me...but anyway, I had my hands full, and I was struggling with my phone. I didn't realize I was a thief until we were well into the drive home, as I found a STOLEN eye liner pencil in my purse...that was a shock! I considered driving back to pay for it, but the weather was so crappy that I decided that they surely overcharged for something I actually paid for by $4, and that was that. Of course, Janelle is making me out to be half of the Bonnie and Clyde duo now, but whatever.

Another day, back to work, and that's probably a good thing. Yesterday was spent digging out from the lastest storm, so I didn't miss much, but I do have work stacking up - and it feels like it is literally stacking up on my head, so I have got to get it under control again. Janelle leaves for NC in about an hour, I will miss her, but her being gone will be helpful to me in getting caught up, I have had my attentions turned to other things for the past weeks. I think she IS ready to take off for awhile, I have worried that she will be too far away from me if she needed me, but I really do see good progress in her, and this vacation will do her good. She is going to look for work while she is there, she is considering moving...I'm good with all of it, if she is ready. All of my kids are homebodies to a degree, they don't need to live with me, but they do need me nearby. The two older ones have moved quite far away, only to understand that family is more important than they thought, so they returned to the area. I support ALL of them leaving this area, none of them like the weather, the opportunities are somewhat stunted, but I guess roots are hard to walk away from. I would like to leave this area myself, but I am not able to as long as my mother is here. Someday maybe.

Along the same lines, my boss and buddy, asked yesterday why I didn't just move to Florida when he does. He listed off the reasons I should, number one being that I had just been bitching about the snow. I was surprised and told him so. I asked if he was going to miss me, and he replied that he seriously didn't know what he would do without me. That's about as good as it gets from him...

I hope you all have a great day - :)

Nothing endures but change

BLIZZARD WARNING. Ice, then significant snowfall, 5-8 inches possible, along with winds of up to 50 miles a hour. Loss of electrical power possible. Do not travel. If you must, have a survival kit with you. If you get stranded, stay with your vehicle. Just freakin' peachy.

A better night last night, I slept as well as I ever can. It's amazing how much a little sleep can help, eh?

The Daytona 500 today. YES! And the racing season begins...Oh how I love my NASCAR.

The most adorable baby was in the dealership with his parents yesterday. I knew this was bound to happen, and I was NOT looking forward to it. I was surprised at all the feelings I had, because my concern was of course, for Janelle, as she was working the F and I office for me yesterday. He was the kind of baby that you can't help but fall in love with, all smiles and eyes. When I saw him, my heart leapt into my throat and all the emotions of the past weeks came crushing in on me. I had to go to the back to cry - and I was surprised at the strength of my own feelings. Of course, it was only worse for Janelle, although I have to admit she managed to make it through all the paperwork of selling the young family the car before she came to me to cry. It was a necessary moment for the both of us, and frankly - if it had to happen, I am glad it happened with that kind of "I can't help but love you baby" and not with a "please do something to shut that kid up" kind of baby, although that might have been easier to handle, because when you want to drop kick a baby's parents then you aren't focusing on sadness. So anyway, that showdown is now over, and we both made it. That prompted a little conversation, and I am proud of my daughter for getting better. She still cries, at times she doesn't even know she is going to, but it comes and goes quickly, and then she returns to the reality of all of it, and knows that someday....SOMEDAY.

Have a really good Sunday. If you aren't snowed in where you are, think of me when you leave your house today. Keep smiling. :)

Life from left field, by Gross Gertie

Way to go Giants! Not that I cared either way, but I really expected the Patriots to take it, again. I can't help but think Tom Brady's little baby face is adorable, though.

Yesterday was an okay day. considering. And there is alot to consider. But we survived it, with cleaning, and a little cooking, and then of course, the game. I didn't really watch, I was either on the computer or daydreaming of better days, or even sleeping for a while, until my phone rang. My mind feels like it has a two ton weight on it, a black cloud of gloom hovering over it, and I'm ready for that to go away. Our predicted rain turned out to be another six inches of snow, and in just checking my email I was thrilled to learn that we are in the path of another major snowstorm, to begin tomorrow morning. (That was sarcasm, just in case you don't know how much I love winter.) I have just about had it with the weather this year, I have either been tromping around in snow up to my ass, (and let me tell you, that's a long way), or having to wear my long underwear under my clothes, inside at work, just to keep from turning to a block of ice. Common sense and nearly 48 years of living tells me that this winter will pass soon, but the rest of me is beginning to wonder.

I'm dreading today and tomorrow. I am asking that each of you pray for Janelle, that it will go as smoothly as possible, with no issues. She has a job to do, a mission to get accomplished, and that in itself is more than she can bear. We don't need anything coming out of left field, there has been enough of the "life from left field" for awhile now. Hey, that sounds like the new name for my blog. I think I might like it...and to quote a commentor from the past few days, I think I should rename myself Gross Gertie. It seems to fit my mood, my life, the way I feel about everything. The comment came from a funny story about a chicken that had lost it's feathers, and seriously, that really does about sum me up lately. Ah well, just a bit of humor being thrown in on a day that really doesn't deserve any.

I hope that all of you have as good a Monday as possible. I would give anything if this was going to be a regular Monday for me, one where I could moan and groan about having to get back to work...In any event, have a happy day. Later.

Friday, revisited

It has been quite a long Friday--but I did make a little progress in my work load today. I have a list, and I'm crossing the jobs off, one little thing at a time, and there is some sort of satisfaction in that. I do not function well without a list, I never have. I cannot focus--and sometimes, even with one, it's still difficult. I am working tomorrow, and also on Sunday---but then I plan to take all day off on Monday. I really don't mind working on the weekends, I am able to get more done, the atmosphere in the office is calmer, and that brings better working conditions for me. I am mostly back to my usual hours now, although I have not been able to make to eight pm yet, although I have been able to work a couple of twelve hour days---but I haven't been able to do it until that hour. I get up too early these days, and while I always have, recently I cannot make it that long. I don't know if I ever will, honestly. I am not sure if that makes sense - what I'm saying is, the hours at the garage on the long days are 8-8. I don't seem to be able to do that recently, although I have worked 4-5 once and 6-6 a time or two, but I haven't been able to work as late as eight o'clock since I have been sick. There, I hope that is clearer.

I wanted to do something tonight, but it is just too damned cold. I must be getting old, a year or two ago, that would not have stopped me. I could think of nothing this evening but getting home to my warm house and my jammies, my book and my 'puter. The wind chills are predicted to be more than twenty below---it has been so cold all day long that I wore my long johns to work under my jeans, and I was inside all day. I don't remember being as cold ever as I am this year. I have heard alot of people say that, however. It's hard not to take this winter personally, as though it is some kind of plot that's out to get ME.

H has quite a cold, and he is one big snotball - cough, sneeze, blow, hack, snort, hock...so much fun...and what fun to share a meal with! I am quite looking forward to the dinner that's due to be delivered from our ONE restaurant in town that is open---it's a good thing I like him, I'm telling you...

Have a good Friday night...I will see you all tomorrow!

Don't you worry 'bout a thing

I have been dreaming of living someone else's life. It has to be someone else's, it doesn't involve any problems, issues, or gut-stirring worry. It's getting to be rather enjoyable though, I must admit, and I don't want to wake up. It IS me, in that dream, but I don't recognize this family, and they don't expect the world from me. I'm rather hard to recognize also, I suppose due to the lack of worry all over me. I like it, and I want it. It would be sad to have to leave my family in search of this one, don't you think?

So I did have the flu the other day, or some damned bug. I am not good at throwing up, I never have been...and this time was no exception, plus I had the added bonus of trying not to hurt my neck, which only hurt it further. I knew I had done something wrong when afterwards and for awhile still, I was seeing double. It went away finally, but I didn't like that part. I'm better now, and my eyes are better now, but none of it was fun. I made it to work yesterday but it was difficult, but by the afternoon, I really was feeling better.

I get to deal with another five inches of snow on the ground this morning! Yes! You all know how I love, love, LOVE the snow. It generally does snow here, but I can't remember a winter like this, not for a very, very long time. I have heard many times that this year had been brutal all over, and it is disheartening to think that we are not even one month into the actual winter season. Blech.

All things are ticking along here as usual, I can't exactly write that they are ticking along well, but as usual seems to fit okay. We are all basically okay...I am getting fed up with many things but I am not one to spill all my guts in public, so okay, I am, and I will but this morning is not the time. Suffice it to say, that I'm okay--everyone in my world is okay. Who can ask for more? It's probably just the winter blues, and I have to admit, I have it bad this year.

I hope that each of you are enjoying your winter days, at least better than I am. This too shall pass...this too shall pass..this to shall pass...Is this the part where I click my heels together? Oh wait---I think I have my biblical lines mixed with Oz. In any event...Good day!

Oh joy...

Yesterday's predicted snow (from a dusting on one channel to up to two inches on another), turned out to be quite a blizzard. It was coming down quite heavily and had been for a couple of hours, so about three yesterday afternoon, I told the owner I was going to get home before dark rather than try and drive in the white crap at that time. So, I packed up my briefcase and set off, in my own little car, as I have been driving it, rather than something off the lot. I didn't make it a mile down the road before I was stuck twice! TWICE! My car is front wheel drive with traction control, and the snow was deep but it had been plowed off the highway...it was just the funniest snow I have ever tried to drive in. I would turn the wheel of my car, but my car would not turn, at least not right away, and both times I managed to get stuck, I would veer off into a pile of plowed snow on the side of the road. I was so irritated. I am by no means a new driver in snow and I couldn't understand what the hell...I did manage to get unstuck okay, although I hurt the hell out of my neck doing so, but I turned around, went back to the dealership, got H and and four wheel drive, and we both took off for home. On the way, we saw several others who had issues, in ditches...stuck, the whole deal. On the news later, they did manage to say that travel was not recommended...I thought that was helpful. teehee

Needless to say, this morning my neck hurts like a you know what, and I know it's from trying to see all around me rocking my car out of those snow piles. It has been hurting anyway, but that sure didn't help. I believe I was just telling you all yesterday how much I hate winter, and here I am...why do I live in this place? We ended up with about six or seven new inches of the stuff, and we had just gotten rid of the long-frozen, dirty looking, foot or so that had been on the ground for the past month. Oh joy.

CrazyDog thinks its all pretty great, though. She has enough hair on her that she can't feel the snow or cold, and she gets out in it and rolls around and acts like a puppy again. It's deep enough now that she sinks all the way up to her tummy and she's having trouble walking in it..pretty funny to watch.

It's Friday again, another week has gone by. I have made some progress at work but not enough to please me. I just may spend my Sunday at the garage this weekend, all alone, actually getting some work done. When I am there during the week, everyone needs something, the phone rings every second, no one can make a decision without my input, owner needs everything from me, it's complete chaos all the time. I do believe I will work from here tomorrow, and go in on Sunday. It will be the only way.

I hope that all of you have good Friday's---that is generally a great day for everyone. I really think tonight will be the night I get out of the house and do something, whether I feel like it or not. I think we will meet a kid or two for dinner, I'm not sure about that yet, and take it from there. I will catch you all later!

A day of indecision, and not knowing any damned thing

Because I am up to my neck in numbers, and that would be the neck that is killing me by the way, I thought I would take a quick break from working and write a quick post. I am working from home today, and wouldn't it just figure, that would be THE day that the owner would be in a meeting with new buyer/accountant, and need every freaking number and figure that I DON'T have here with me? Talk about a little bit of a confusing morning...he is at the accountants office, I am at home, and everything I need is in my office at the dealership. So that begins a morning full of phone calls, from him to me, and me to my assistant. Then my assistant to me, and me back to him. Holy crap. "No, I don't know the exact number for this or remember the exact date on that. No, I can't print that schedule here, but I will print it from here and it will print there and my assistant can call with the numbers." Ack...there was no planning here, or I would have been in my office, hell-he would have been armed with the numbers had I known he was going. He tells me he didn't know, either. A surprise meeting? What a surprise! Damn, as much as I don't want it to, apparently this is really happening. It seems that owner would rather bury his head in this whole deal, too. Interesting, to say the least...but that often is how he deals with things, big things, scary things...and then it all magically works out for him. I hope for that outcome for me, too. I suppose that's enough about all of that.

It's snowing/no raining/no icing/no snowing today. Apparently, the jury is out on the type of precipitation we are getting right now...just yesterday it was more than fifty degrees. Damn, I liked that better.

I like working from here, it's quieter, at least it is when the phone isn't ringing every three minutes. The Kitty's like to walk in front of my computer though, and they don't understand that they can't have all my attention. CrazyDog has been pretty quiet, though. She asked to go out a time or two but once I told her it was raining, she decided that she wasn't getting wet and laid down.

I'm getting tired already...when will I be back to a normal workday?

Have a good rest of Tuesday friends! Later.

Hold on tight to your dream

A beautiful day, this morning...the sun is shining so beautifully, my house it lit up BRIGHT. There is a slight breeze, I can see it in the flag out front, it's not whipping, but it's briskly blowing this way, then that way. Sounds gorgeous, doesn't it? The problem is, it's 3 degrees outside. And I think that makes the windchill nearly -369. Holy crap, it's cold out there, even CrazyDog was shaking after being out for a few minutes. I was hoping for a somewhat warm, or warmER day today, so that I could get outside and WALK. Yes, I said WALK. On Sunday, H, CrazyDog and I went out and took a walk! In the real outside, in the sunshine, in the air! It was absolutely amazing...it was awesome...it was indescribably wonderful. The last time I was able to do that, I believe we were in South Dakota, and that was in September. I consider it miraculous, believe me. Something so mundane, and so taken for granted by so many is literally miraculous to me, but it is. I didn't think I would ever be able to do it again. I almost cried, it felt so wonderful. I may still try it today, it depends on the wind. I can dress against the cold very easily, but the damned wind is hard to dress for, when it's this cold, you cannot keep the wind out. So, we will have to see as this day progresses. Anyway, first on my list of things to do has to be getting the Christmas taken down, it is way past time for all of it to be packed away once again.

New Years Eve was a happy time, we enjoyed ourselves, the crowds the noise. I had the best kiss at midnight---and even had champagne to compliment it! We dragged out tired selves in here about the time I usually get up in the morning, so I am little upside down, time-wise today. H will be getting up at the crack of noon to help me get started on the tree-removal task... then he and I will spend a quiet day, probably freezing our butts off. :)

We have so many things to do this year, it's overwhelming when you look at all the plans at once. We talked about all of it last night, and I'm happy to know we are on the same page with most things, although it's funny what worries him about those plans versus what I concern myself with. He has high hopes for himself personally, and I know he can do anything he puts his mind to. We are still under the impression that the other house we own is selling and it will be good to have that handled and out of our hair. Once it does though, this place is going to be put on the market---after a few (what I hope to be) minor updates. H has many plans and he is only one man. I am NOT a home re-modeler, you will not find me with a sander in my hand, going to town on the upstairs wood floors. Nor will you find me drywalling. You MIGHT, and I did say MIGHT, find me with a paintbrush---but only if it's an easy job. It never has been my thing, and to be honest, I am not GOOD at any of it. The problem with projects like that, particularly in a house this old, is that you finish one, and then see another thing that needs doing, just as badly. It can take years and thousands of dollars. And we are doing it to SELL. So, it could be a struggle for him to know when to stop. :)

I hope that whatever you do today, that you are warmer than me, (shudder), and that you are having a great beginning to 2008.

I will catch you all later. :)

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow....

Today, let's talk about the wasted energy involved in wrapping Christmas gifts, shall we? Not that I have done any of that this year, but it is a subject near and dear to my heart, as I will be engrossed in that very thing for at least the next 24 hours. If I should find myself able to move at some point today, that is. Oh holy Christmas fruitcake, I have hurt myself---doing waaaaay too much, please no need to remind me that I wasn't supposed to do that, (sort of like closing the barn door after all the horses have escaped, you know). I worked until 3:30, which was longer than I had planned, and longer than the Dr told me I should, but I can't really say I was working all that time, it had been so long since I had seen anyone, I spent quite a while catching up with them...and everyone had to talk and comment on the fact that I was WALKING, the last time any of them had seen me, I was in bad shape, still in the chair. Then we had the long drive to the city and then---you all know how hard it is to shop this time of year, to park, to find what you want, IF you know what you want...it was just a long, long night. And then, to top it all off, we had to deal with the mother of all fog's on the way home...and it was nearly midnight before I saw the welcome sight of my own brick barn. Ugh. Once I got here, I could barely get out of the car and I was shot, all the way through.

Needless to say, this morning, I am not ambulatory. Not in the least. I am in big pain,I was unable to sleep for that very reason, so I am mucho-tiredo on top of it all. Work was in my plan for the day, but I'm here to tell you, that is not happening. I am once again, living in pill-ville, and unable to accomplish anything. Damn.

Kitty's are not happy with me this morning, well at least Miesha isn't. She is the one that is actually sick, though, so I think her unhappy status has more to do with that than anything. Well that, and H and I trying to shove cold, pink medicine down her throat at twelve thirty this morning. Did you know that cats will not open their mouths for any reason when they are not in the mood? I didn't, but I am learning. She wasn't buying into it, and I got tired of fighting with her. No wonder she hates me now, but a call to the vet is in order today, as I am not going to fight her twice a day only to lose. She got a shot of antibiotics yesterday for the virus she has, and it's a good thing...as she will be late on any additional medication. I am used to dogs, and I know all the dog tricks, namely, when you have had enough cajoling and arguing, force it down them, and you will persevere. Cats are not the same.

Christmas countdown...so much to do...so little time. Another huge ice/snowstorm on the way today, only this time a lot of wind thrown in for blizzard and white out conditions...yes, we needed another weather problem on the weekend before Christmas. This now makes four Saturdays in a row. Wonderful, just wonderful. Bring it on, I say or in other words, can't dance, too fat to fly.

I have a grocery list as long as my arm. Or, I would if I wasn't in pill-ville today, I have to pull it together and think, woman, think. Poor, poor H. I am the luckiest woman, I am aware, that he will go and fight the crowds this morning, which I assume will be doubly bad, as it is the last weekend before the holiday, and also just before a big storm. Holy Christmas cheesecake, I shudder just thinking about the mess he will face today, while I sit here is my warm house...

I guess I will go and lay down. I am in pain kiddos...and the pills are not helping this morning. Legs, arms, neck. Damn. I hope each of you have some kind of a peaceful day today as you all try, like me, to get your holiday all wrapped up. Have a really, really good Saturday. :)

Go with it

And so, today it is 36 degrees outside, and the sun is shining. The ice is falling from the trees, finally, and the noise is making the cats and CrazyDog nervous. It's almost funny---just as soon as they settle back down, another splat...and once again, they jump up to see what all the fuss is about. I have the front door wide open, and the furnace blowing full blast, but damn, fresh air HAS to be had sometimes.



OS came to visit earlier today, on his way to the chiropractor. That cheered me. I am trying to change my lowly attitude, I know it's not in the right place. A shower helped of course, they always do...I have been up some, trying to tidy things up a little, even though everything is in its place, the old house looks sort of un-loved, or maybe it's just me....but I did do some dusting, and re-arranging. Mostly just putzing. That tired me out, it doesn't take much. Tomorrow, I will be leaving early for the big city to the Dr and then to shop, I can tell you already it won't take long for me to wear all the way out. It is my hope to return to work for at least a short while on Thursday, and a longer while on Friday. It IS time...things are not getting done and I will have clearance from my Dr by then.



I just wanted you all to know that I am in a better frame of mind now. Things rarely are as bad as they seem...and even when they are, what can be done, other than go with it?



Have a great Tuesday evening. I am planning on it. :)

Stoned Shopping?

Happy Saturday to you all---I don't have too much to say today...my life remains the same. I am pretty disgusted with myself, the pain is not getting any better and I am still depending on the pills pretty heavily to make it through the days. I have never been a pain weenie, and this time, it seems that I am. I look in the mirror and cannot escape, my face looks like that of a downs syndrome child, still pretty swollen, my neck of course is too, and the incision looks pretty mean. Last night, I layed down with the neck brace on and slept, I think in spite of it all, I was so exhausted, and I managed about four hours. That's the most since I've had this damned procedure done. Each day, swallowing seems to get harder to do, not easier, but I was told the swelling would last for quite a while, so I assume that it is normal, too. The one thing I find sort of freaky is my eyesight---I no longer need my glasses to see the computer, and you all need to know that I have been nearly blind for a few years. I cannot see the TV at all, with or without them, and that was not that way before, either. I do still need them to read, but I don't think I am seeing double anymore, and that was supposed to go away with this surgery, but I am not really sure of that one yet.

I got the most beautiful flowers yesterday, from my little sis. It was so nice of her to think of me. I was very surprised. My kiddos got me flowers at the hospital, too.

I have to spend some time on the computer today, doing some shopping. I will take a couple of pain pills and try and finish. Look out family--you never know what may be in your Christmas stockings, under the circumstances...teehee

I hope each of you have a great weekend. I just learned that we are to get more snow, and H told me that we are well on our way to that goal---apparently we already have at least half of the eight inches predicted. Just lovely. Have a good day! Later.

Hello? Is it me you're looking for?

I woke up ridiculously early this morning, even for me. Pain is getting to be a real problem these past few days, and yes, I do have pills for that, but I only take them after my workday is over, and taking one at two in the morning would be out of the question if I want to act like I have half a brain at work in the morning at eight. My work hours are getting shorter and shorter and my list of things to accomplish before Tuesday grows longer, since I really have no idea how long I will need to be home after the surgery. I really wanted to be here recovering without worrying (yea right) about the job. It seems that I am the one that is going to make that impossible as I am the one incapable of doing what needs to be done to get me to that point. I get really irritated with myself, as I really believe that if I were a stronger person, a tougher person, a more caring, interested, a better person, I would/could do a better job, regardless of the circumstances. Yes, I know, no need to tell me how whacked out I am. I realize that is a stupid thing to say with one part of my head, believe me. But you all need to realize that if I were not that kind of thinker, then I wouldn't have gotten this far in the first place.... Soul tells me all the time, along with others that matter to me, that they would have given up and quit trying to work, among other things, months ago. First of all, I do not have that choice...and perhaps that would make no difference, I don't know. Secondly, this kind of thinking, that I describe now, is what makes me get up and fight, every day of my life, regardless of the pain. Perhaps it is a good thing, perhaps is isn't. Folks say that being strong is good....I am beginning to think it isn't. But what do I know, hell, it's three am, and I am in a huge amount of physical pain right now. :)

Well this blog entry certainly is not going in the direction I thought it would...but onward.

I have gotten several emails from you all wanting to know how you would be updated about my surgery and wanting to know how long I will be in the hospital, etc. I plan to ask my ultra smart, talented, educated, beautiful daughter to post at least once for me while I am in the hospital---once should be more than enough, as if things go right, I will only be there overnight. She will (I'm sure) let you know that I am fine and when I should be home. After that, depending on how I feel, I will be back with you in a few days. I have zero idea what to expect, but I know I will miss you all if I am away for more than a couple of days....

Oh--this is Friday, isn't it? Wake up Jamie, good heavens. I have alot to do today, but then I did yesterday, and I came home around noon, with big plans to get much finished here. Riiight.I took pills for the burning pain, then mostly, I was worthless. We did get around four inches of snow...oh how I don't love snow. I don't even like looking at it...except for maybe on that rare occasion that I don't have anywhere to be, nothing to do...and perhaps on Christmas Eve.

I have busy plans for my weekend, to keep my mind off of my upcoming surgery, or throat slashing, as I like to call it, and no one else wants to hear...but that is what they are going to do...but anyway, I intend to take pills for pain and go places all weekend, then literally work myself to death on Monday, so that by Tuesday, I will be so exhausted, I will just lay down on that table and say "have at me, boys". teehee Come on...you all know that's funny.

I have had the nicest folks, people I didn't even know cared about me come into the garage, or call me AT HOME, to tell me they are thinking about me, and are wishing me well, one even said they would probably see me at the hospital (wasn't thrilled about that one, but what are you gonna do), and it has surprised me so much. It's funny how you don't even know who knows you are alive. I was thinking about that yesterday, and I felt so blessed. Surprised, but blessed. See Mom, people DO like me. ;) Look Ma, no hands.....Geez, go back to bed.....

I just thought I would tell you all I have the best kids in the world. They will all be home on Sunday to put up my tree, and I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to it. :)

This morning, the song was "Hello". You know the Lionel Richie song from the 80's. :)

I hope you all have a great Friday.

Dancing with the spaz's

So I woke up this morning with a really sore throat. Just peachy.I think that could be a problem, with major surgery coming up in four days. Damn. I will, once again, call the doctor today.

A major mall shooting in Omaha---good heavens---what in the world is happening to people? It is everywhere, and this one is pretty close to home. Right in the city of one of my best blogging buddies, Maria. You go Christmas shopping one afternoon, on a Wednesday, thinking this is a good day to go, the crowds won't be too bad, and if you are one of the lucky ones, you leave in tears, horrified, changed for life, because there was some whack job with a gun that wanted to go out in style. WTH?

No going in to my place of employment yesterday, although I had every intention of doing so. Getting up the stairs left H and I both out of breath, gee now, that's a pretty image, isn't' it? And then I had the Elvis leg going in both legs at once. BOTH LEGS. Usually it's just one leg or the other. Damn. Yes---I call it the Elvis leg....it sort of shakes out of control, just like Elvis' did back in the fifties. Then the other morning.....I had this little charleston move, right in my living room. My knees just sort of crossed each other and had there been the correct music, it would have been a move to be proud of!

Up to five inches of snow expected here today. Just swell. Wonderful. Awesome. Great. Peachy-fricking keen. I will have to be sure and put the chair into 4WD.

Today's song was "Chitty chitty bang bang". I don't know the words or even like it. But you all wanted to know what was playing when I woke up.

Have a good Thursday. Later.

If I confer with our furry friends, man to animal...

Last evening was the scheduled date for the annual Christmas party for the dealership where I work. It really is always a nice event, we always go to the same place these past few years, a restaurant - a steak house, that has a nice selection of steak, sea food, chicken...and all of the usual trimmings. They have a nice bar for the smokers, as there is no smoking in the private room where we have dinner. It accommodates everyone nicely, no one stands in the cold for their habits. It is order what you what, as much as you want, totally open bar, no restrictions. The owner is really good that way---when he does something, he does it right. Of course, he would die if he knew what it cost, but he never asks, and I never offer that information. But last night, for the first time in the history of this company, it had to be cancelled due to bad weather. So, we will have to reschedule for after the holidays. It didn't completely break my heart, I was trying to decide how I was going to go, with the weather, my own personal circumstances, and the freakin' pain that I was in all day yesterday. I was seriously considering not going, and while I know that the owner would have understood, obviously, it also would have presented few problems for him. So, the issue was taken out of my hands. As last evening wore on, I was quite happy I was not there, as I realized I would have been in quite a pickle had I been out in public. I am quite used to my legs not working, and I have managed to overcome that problem as best as possible. These past few days, my right arm has decided that using it is worth a price and that is getting to be sort of awkward. Even my left arm would be easier to work around, as I am right handed. Typing is manageable for awhile, as I can keep it close to my body, but anything that requires extending it and I could be in trouble. That sort of leaves writing, eating, drinking (oh no!), and many other things out there in the cold...

So anyway, we had quite an ice storm yesterday. If any of you know me at all, you know how much I hate winter. I don't like cold, snow or especially ice. When I say that, I am speaking about having to work, and get out in it every day. It makes everything harder. Life is harder in the winter...just putting the damned dog out becomes an issue in the winter. Yesterday, I just sat on that couch and listened to it, it wasn't so bad. Of course, I had no where to go, nothing to do. Maybe when I am older and retired, I won't hate it so much.

CrazyDog and Kitty #1 have decided that they are going to feud. Keep in mind that they have now lived together since May. I mean, real fighting, growling, screaming, hair raising...loud fighting. I don't like it---and don't really know what to do about it. Kitty #1 still does not know that he has no claws. Apparently CrazyDog hasn't figured that out either, because the cat will smack the hell out of the dog and the dog will run. The dog is a 40 pound chow! But later, when the cat is not expecting it, the dog will come back for more...and she will not INTEND to hurt the cat or she would have killed him by now, she has teeth that are bigger than the cats head. But it IS getting ugly. Plus, I don't call her CrazyDog for nothing. I never know what to expect from her....it's always something. The funny thing is...she has no problem what-so-ever with the other kitty. None. Who knows? I wish I really could "talk to the animals". Anyone out there Dr. Doolittle? Have a good Sunday. :)