You take my life when you do take the means whereby I live. ~William Shakespeare

It's three-thirty in the morning, and I didn't want to get up at this hour, but there has been a bit of a mess here in the house of the unemployed..., already, at this early hour.

I woke to the sound of glass breaking....and it was right beside me. The glass of club soda that I keep beside me when I sleep, was in pieces, on the floor. Club soda was running every which way, and so was the kitty that caused it. I can't say that it would be the first time that club soda has been spilled there, but since club soda is used as the universal stain remover on all fabrics, I don't get too upset. The glass that was covering a good portion of the area was another matter, however, and still, even after all the cleaning up I have done, I am still concerned that Miesha has a shard or two in a paw or two.

And Good Morning to you all, too. What a wonderful way to wake up, eh? No real problem, these things don't get me down too much.

I have been very busy, mostly doing nothing. Or what feels like nothing. Looking for a job on the internet is an extremely time consuming job. I have applied for what feels like thousands of jobs, and still the phone isn't exactly ringing off the hook. I have been trying to figure out why that would be...and really I don't know. My resume is okay, short, and to the point...but that is how I am. It tells enough about my work history that if the reader were seriously looking for someone with my skills, they would know that they want to know more about me, and isn't that the point of a resume? My cover letters are positive, creative and informative. My work history and job skills are good and solid...my education is lacking, but there is nothing that can be done about that, or should I say, I am not willing to do anything about that. There isn't exactly an abundance of jobs out there to do exactly what I have done in the past, but I am applying for just about anything that even remotely sounds like something that I can do. All I can surmise is that it will happen. It's very disconcerting to realize how long it takes to find a job these days, it seems that from the time you send a resume until the interview phone call can be weeks. I have a couple of things in the works still and I feel certain that several that I have applied for in the past week will result in at least an interview. In the meantime, I am losing it. And I'm getting damned good at it, I might add. The bowling alley manager job that I applied for has been filled by someone else. I knew after that telephone interview that the company had an issue with the Ice Cream Store, to them-it was a conflict of interest. I found that rather strange as bowling alley's and ice cream shops have little in common, and never mind the fact that they are an hour apart, but the interviewer told me that right up front. The F and I sales position that I interviewed for last week won't be filled until late next week, for whatever reason, they were putting the decision off until then, apparently the regional manager was going to be on vacation. So, I keep doing my part, waiting for God to do his.

I am trying to be a productive, positive, likeable person...and that's really more of a challenge than it should be. I am a nervous wreck, and I know it. Mark and I are not exactly going along at peak performance...he is being a bit of a jerk and that's really unlike him. He is having the same issues that I am...the two of us together are a lethal combination.

So, it's a good thing that the Ice Cream Store is opening tomorrow. We were there all yesterday afternoon with Craig, (who is going to be the new manager this year), getting things ready to go. I think he will do a fine job, and I honestly think he is somewhat excited with his new role and title...and I intend to let him do it. He has to learn, and I will be around to help him with that, but the best lessons are the hardest ones sometimes, and I am going to let him handle it.

And so, another day begins. I have places to go, people to see...oh wait, that was my old life.

Have a good day.

Thursday and Friday take too long

And another day.

Here we are again, just you and me.

Another day, another dollar.

We meet again.

How many more cliche' greetings can I come up with, you ask? Sorry, I am not myself this morning. I have no idea why. It was a bad night, after an okay day.

I had two interviews yesterday, and I have no idea how either of them went. I hate the business of job hunting, I am not good at it. I have become way too direct in my life, no bullshit, tell it like it is. And we all know there is no room for that kind of thinking when you are looking for work. Finding suitable employment requires deception and dancing around the other person, and playing the f'ing game, none of which I want to do. I know how to play it, but seriously at my age, why in the hell should I have to? I ask the questions they are never ready to answer. I give the answers that I am certain they don't want to hear. I cannot change now. Or perhaps I am just unwilling. But either way, I am not so sure that any of what went on yesterday was in my favor. And I won't know, until I hear that I got one of them, which I think is unlikely. I don't necessarily want either job, one is managing a huge bowling alley/restaurant, which I think would be fun, and I feel certain that I am qualified, but the hours would be killer. The other is selling and Finance and Insurance products to car dealers, which I feel certain I could do, but I'm not certain I want to. In both cases, I would have to take a pretty hefty pay cut, but I expected that. There would be potential in both, for moving up with the company and in the area of pay. So, I have left it all to God. I will interview my little heart out, and try my best to say and do all the right things, and then He can do the rest.

Today, Mark and I have to tour a facility that we have both applied to manage, together. I think this job sounds interesting, but apparently there are many folks that have felt that way, only to find it isn't the sort of thing they were looking for, so this company insists that you tour before you interview. So, we will drive to the city again. Today. Ugh.

I haven't seen my mom since the weekend, and I got a rather ugly text message from her about it yesterday. Yes folks, my mother is the queen of the text message, at 73. In some ways that makes me laugh. It's amazing how easily she can be pissy, with so few words to work with, but I have to admit, she's damned good at it.

Hope each of you have the best Thursday possible. Later. :)

The latest in a sad, sad tale

Funny, now that I have the time to actually write here, it seems I have little I want to say, or maybe it's just that I don't know how to write about the things that matter the most to me. Our lives here have been turned completely upside down, and I honestly don't know what to do or how to go about it.

Mark went into the dealership yesterday, as he was supposed to, to count parts that will be returned for Bill. Prior to Tuesday, he was helping out in the back, mostly being the interim service manager, and also covering the lube tech's job. On Tuesday morning, he was relieved of both duties and told he could leave. He told Mr. Parts and Service director that he might as well get started on counting the parts they had put in the back shop, as Bill has told him it would have to be done before the sale of the dealership closed, and because they were committed to paying him, he would rather be paid to DO something. On Wednesday when he returned, he was told to leave. He was not wanted there, he was no longer allowed in there, they did not trust him and that the parts would all have to be recounted, anyway. Wtf?

I was not surprised, as after I left on Tuesday evening, I seriously expected that they would not want him anywhere near. However, the area that he works in, is way out of the way, and no one would have any reason to go back there, unless they were wanting to harass him. And that's just what happened. To imply that he was doing something wrong, that he would ever lie about anything really, REALLY scalds me. If any of you knew Mark, you would know that he is a man of such integrity, such honesty that any implication of any wrong doing is utterly ridiculous. It pisses me off to such an unbelievable degree...In the end, although they knew that he was there as a direct order from Bill, and although they cannot fire or let anyone go until the sale is completed, it did not matter to them. They told him the get out and stay out. I'd say they are a little pissed off at me, don't you agree?

Sadly, I don't know how any of this will play out, but I do think that Mark will be the loser in the whole deal. They do HAVE to pay him until the completion of the sale, but you and I both know they won't, and I'm not sure what recourse we will have. Small claims court, I would assume. Bill knows about all of this and is in contact with his lawyers, but for him to make a huge stink over all of it is a bit over the top but he says he will. For the life of me, I cannot understand WHAT this guy is doing. He is buying a business that was up for sale, obviously, there should not be any problem in doing that. It takes a few weeks for General Motors to approve the sale, and this is not his first rodeo, so he knows that, too. All he has to do is bide his time, until that is finished. Then he can do things any way he wants to...but to make such a mess of everything now, to stir up such trouble now...to act the way he has with me, which I realize is not that big a deal, but he KNOWS that Bill has left me to handle all of it, so to act the way they did with me, was actually acting that way to Bill, the guy you are buying the business from. Does that make sense to you?

So, it was a good birthday. Not. We did have lunch with two of the kiddos in the city...and it was nice. I cried alot, so I'm sure that set the tone to a bit off, for a bday celebration. Ah, who cares, being 48 is really not much to celebrate. I vote that from 45 on, the birthdays go the opposite way...so eventually, we'll all end up being 21 again. My most wonderful kids got me a photo printer, and I'm excited to get that hooked up to my puter. Speaking of puters, there has been a whole lot of switching of them around here, and the one I am now using is the one I had at work. At least I will be able to get my home office organized, as I have ICS things, Bills things and my own scattered from here to there. Today, that is my mission. And I'm happy to have a mission, as I have little else..until I can get my head on straight, it's just one foot in front of the other. And I'm afraid even that will be too much for me.

I hope your Thursday is great. I don't have a 12 hour day - like I always have on this day. In fact, I don't have a day at all..., this is too much for me to get my head around. No job, no work, no job or work for Mark---somehow that doesn't compute. I knew that we would both be looking for work, that is not a surprise, but the way it has been done, the abruptness of the whole thing leaves me flabbergasted.

Since I'm obviously feeling like hell this morning, I posted a photo of a way happier time for me, one that I took in San Diego a few years ago. I'd like to be back there, right about now. Have a good day.

I went to a Garden Party

I overslept by an hour, hmmm...think it has anything to do with the time change? I HATE the way that congress dicks around with our time. Like we don't have enough problems with TIME in the first place, why must they take another hour from us? Please don't tell me they give it back in the fall, I am well aware of that...but if you are going to try and save time, then I feel like that hour should at least come back to us with some interest...perhaps another twenty-four hours attached to it?

I worked on tax shit yesterday until I had the headache from hell, then I was on the phone for well over an hour with my little sister. By the time that conversation ended, I had a true migraine headache. I don't believe I have had one of those for at least twenty years, wth?

While on the marathon phone call, it was decided that she and her family along with my older sis will be here the weekend of our Mom's birthday, arriving on the 21st. I am looking forward to that, and I know that our Mom will be happy about it. Because I'm certain that Mom is not up to that many house guests at once, the younger sis, her husband and my littlest niece will stay here with us. That will be fun---my three year old niece Carli is a trip, and so much fun to be around.

It's a wonderful Monday again. I am not in the mood this morning for the bullshit happening at work, and I fear that my mouth may just overload my backside. It is my intention to keep my head down and mouth closed, but you all know what happens with good intentions. Mark has to leave in the early afternoon to go pick up Janelle in KC, it seems without him around to for me to vent to, I don't stay nearly as calm. Does anyone have a xanax?

Happy Monday to you all.

My two quarters

Another day, another fifty cents...

Wednesday, am I right? I am a little out of sorts this morning, maybe I haven't woke all the way up yet. Yesterday was such a nerve wracking day - and really, I don't know why. I went for physical therapy, and that was quite a trip. I have never experienced anything of the sort before, and I had no idea what to expect. The little girl that worked on me (and I emphasize the word little, btw) was a real sweetheart. She was tiny and cute and blonde, but man---I think she could literally move a mountain if she wanted to! By the time I left there, a full HOUR later, I had been beaten up and worked over, and pretty much left for dead. All kidding aside, this was a HUGE thing for me, you need to know that NO ONE touches me. Seriously. I hate to have someone's hands all over me, unless they are invited and wanted by me (I feel I had to throw that one in there, or you all would think I was NOT a good wife, lol). I do not like a doctor's hands on me, I do not like a hairdresser's hands on me, I will not get a massage for this very reason (and that might explain the condition of my hair, while we're on the subject, lol). But once again, I must say that while I joke about this, I don't like it. At all. So, knowing what I would be facing yesterday, made the day a little rough. Surprisingly though, that wasn't the bad part of the whole thing. The bad part was that she really, REALLY made my neck feel better. Really. Until I left there, and went back outside in the single degree weather, and holy-hell, my neck froze up and hurt badly the rest of the day. By the time I got home last night, all I could do was run for the heat pad, and swallow pills for the inevitable headache. Well, that and drink beer. Which I did. Two Michelob Ultra's later, I was on the mend. The really great part about this? I get to do it again, in fact - I get to do it twice a week, for the next three weeks! Woohoo!

The rest of the afternoon at work, was tense. TENSE. In a place that doesn't even understand that word, but it's the only way to describe it. Owner is working on the buy/sell agreement with the buyer, and that has him all up in arms, and had me reading and re-reading every sentence, and then analyzing every little thing for him. It's okay, I understand the need and the reason, and you can bet I have his back in every little instance, but is this not why we are paying a lawyer? Just askin'...

I have work upon work upon work, to do. I have no parts man, and a service manager on Tuesday's and Thursday's. The rest of the week, it's all up to me. And I am showing Mark how to do it all, and he really is getting it. But to learn all there is back there, takes months. MONTHS. Of course, every strange issue that come's up, has to involve me. I have decisons to make, circumstances to explain, procedures to teach. The phone rings constantly with another problem of some sort, and the idea, let alone the actual reality, of getting anything else done is a joke. By the time I leave that place in the evening, my brain is mush. I always think I can stay late and begin my OWN job in the evening, but there is no way. Ahh...see? This is what happens when you want to run the show. You actually get to. Argh...

Janelle arrived in North Carolina right on time, no issues with the weather or luggage or anything, and that has to be a minor miracle, at the very least. I didn't ask her how wonderful the weather was when she got there, I was afraid I would cry. The reality of where she was going and how nice it was going to be there, hit me when I opened the coat closet yesterday, and her coat was still hanging there. It's hard to believe that just a short plane ride away, people are NOT bundled up like freakin' eskimos. Another snow storm predicted for late in the weekend, just so you all know...

I hope that your Wednesday is awesome. I hope mine is, too. I could go for a little awesome, hell - just stress free would be good enough for me. Like that will ever happen. But have a good day, whatever you choose to do. :) Spell check, please come home...

SHUT

I'm losing it.

I just told a customer to shut. Literally, I said "shut". Which meant shut the hell up, in case you don't know what I mean. But I can't say that...And I shouldn't say shut, either. But I just did. And that means I'm losing it. I get so tired of whining and complaining...and it's not my fault that GM made a trailblazer with rear heat issues, in fact, GM is so aware that they did that they published a bulletin that states that fact. However, they will not fix it for free...and that is not my fault, personally. Yes, I represent GM, and yes, this dealership did sell you the used vehicle with a design flaw. The fact is, you probably wouldn't notice the problem if it weren't below zero this winter. But it is, and I recognize the fact that you have small children, and I'm not blind to the fact that you have another on the way. Which is why I agreed to fix it, at the expense of this dealership. So, then you still want to complain? Well then shut. And I mean it.

Proof I'm certifiable

A Sunday upon us, a day I'm happy to see. I'm tired because I was out too late, among other reasons, but it was worth it. The birthday dinner went well and I was so excited because all my kids were there, along with Janelle's bestest local friend and her significant other. It was a really good time, and we all made pigs of ourselves. I managed to get a little loopy and forget my issues for an hour or two, sadly, they are all back this morning, along with a couple of other deeply troubling ones I was not expecting. Ah well...such is my life.

I just realized I cannot find my phone...and I am hoping it isn't in the snow bank I had to walk in from the driveway to the house. How lovely. I cannot believe that I am just now realizing this, I would swear I had it when I went to bed, I never sleep without my phone. I must have been really tired, or perhaps more loopy than I realized, but that can't be right, I had quit drinking hours before. I slept a good portion of the drive back, and I was pretty out of it when we got in. We came up right behind an accident, a truck ran right off the highway, for unknown reasons, as the weather was horribly cold and windy, but that patch of highway was perfectly clear. We stopped to see if they were hurt or needed help, but they said they were fine, only stuck in the snow, and waved us on. I had my phone then...in my hand. Hmmm...it's either in the car or in the snow. Either way, I'm not going out in the below zero temps right now to find it. And this would be just another example of how I'm losing my mind - I don't lose things. But apparently that isn't right. :(

I hope that your Sunday is awesome. I had planned to spend mine watching last night's Bud Shootout, but someone forgot to program the dvr. I suppose I'll live and let H off the hook, after all, he's a pretty good guy otherwise. Usually. For the most part. However, you just don't mess with a girl and her NASCAR...

Later.