Another bad night with CrazyDog, so this has been number three. Tomorrow, I feel certain that she goes to the vet, again. I don't know if there is anything more that can be done for her, perhaps a new medication? She has not slept for more than two hours maybe two or three times in the past three nights-total. The rest of the time has been spent pacing and barking. Simultaneously. Even Mark is losing his patience, and of course I am too, but I can recognize that this isn't her fault, he is beginning to take it personally. I swear, she is acting manic, is it possible for dogs to have the same sort of problems mentally, that humans do? Is there medication for that? I guess I need to do my homework. And yes, to answer your questions from the last post's comments, she is a Chow. Papered and registered, as if that makes any difference...
I'm having a clan for dinner today, all of my kids-I think, I'm still not too sure about Janelle-and my mom and stepdad. It will be a sort of catch all dinner, I'm firing up the electric fryers, and it's going to be an artery plugging affair. Chicken strips, tenderloins, french fries, onion petals, and I'm making a double batch of homemade Mac and cheese, just to round out the already yellow meal, and to seal the deal on the artery plugging, wouldn't want to leave any open spaces, lol. I do think I need to make a cake or maybe brownies for dessert. None of it is my cup of tea, although I do like my own chicken strips, with my own horseradish sauce. I have told all of my kids to come and get what they don't want thrown out or sold in the garage sale later this month, that anything left after today is mine to do with as I choose, and believe me, they have ALOT of stuff left here. The days of Mom's free storage are over. It is sad, sort of, but in another way, it will be nice to get rid of all the junk that is overflowing every closet, every rafter in each garage, and clean out the basement...that part will be good.
I do hope that Janelle can be here, I haven't seen her in at least three weeks. Apparently when the subject was mentioned in her home yesterday, there was a fight, and that made me feel really bad. I don't think I should call her when he's at home, and I won't do it again. She knows how I feel about him, and I know how he feels about me, I don't know why any of this surprised her. I understand that she wants harmony in her family, including him, but that is unrealistic. Completely. She knew how all of that was when she went back, and frankly, she surprises me. Everyone is just supposed to get over it, like that, because she has. It never works that way. I am trying to keep my mouth shut, although we all know that is hard for me, but the fact that I don't think he is right for her is well known. I can only imagine what he says about me, so the fact that she gets all upset when something like this happens is surprising. However, I will not be the reason for making her life harder, she is my daughter and I love her no matter what. I will not interfere and will not call again when they are together, which I assume would be evenings and weekends, and since she is now working days, I guess she will have to call me. Ugh.
When I just looked outside, my car is covered with a dusting of snow, again. Good lord, will this ever end? It has been so cold this weekend, it feels more like February than April.
I suppose I had better get myself in the kitchen. The group will be here around noon or one, and I have alot to do in there. I hope each of you have a really great Sunday! :)
Showing posts with label MY DAUGHTER IS FREAKING AWESOME. Show all posts
Showing posts with label MY DAUGHTER IS FREAKING AWESOME. Show all posts
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Saturday, March 15, 2008
I've got you, under my skin
And a very happy Saturday to you all. Why on earth am I awake? I would love to be the kind that can sleep my troubles away, but even when I have no troubles, there is little sleep. The truth is, I have always found sleeping to be a wasteful and time consuming habit. I have always had too much to do, too little time. I have often thought that if I could only clone myself, one of me could sleep while the other was accomplishing things that need accomplishing. (Yes, I know how stupid that sounds.) Now, when I really would have the time to sleep, I find that there are too many unanswered questions rolling around up there, and it's much easier to get up and get busy with something than listen to all of that happening in my head.
The computer issues have been handled here, thanks to my oh-so-talented and oh-so-smart daughter. We are now a house of two desktops, and one laptop that goes along with said daughter, and damned if they aren't all connected to the Internet at the same time! (Thank you Al Gore, for this glorious invention...and while I've got you on the line Mr Gore, let's chat about this global warming thing, shall we?) Oh sorry, I got a little distracted there. But anyway, we are all hooked up, and I am certain this will make life easier for both Mark and I, looking for work has apparently become an Internet activity, gone are the days of knocking on doors and looking employers in the eye. That's a sad reality, and one I still struggle with-I am good at selling myself for employment if I get the opportunity to meet someone, letting a piece of paper do the talking is rough for me. I am currently looking for something rather half-heartedly, as right now, I have no idea what to look for or where to look for it. Mark's job will be the one that will support us, mine will be the one that will supplement what he does. I still have the Ice Cream Store to consider and I don't know how any of it will fit together. Ah...see why I can't sleep?
The weather has been really nice - in the fifties at least, and I have yet to get out and enjoy it. Today, I am going to get on my bike. Period. Unless of course, it snows, and I have heard some rumbling about that from the weather guys, although it couldn't be too much a problem - the ground is too warm. I cannot tell you how much I am looking forward to spring, and it will be late arriving this year, there are still snow piles in some places. Everything is so wet, the spring rains will surely cause problems. You gotta love Iowa...
My house is slowly shaping up, although I still have so much to do. I am going to take down the curtains in the bedrooms and kitchen and get them washed in the next couple of days, and that is a big job. It has been way too long. My living/dining area/office is one giant-huge-enormous room, and each end is nearly floor to ceiling windows, which means I have floor to ceiling draperies on the ends, and a couple of windows along one side with the same. These are ten foot ceilings, so you know the weight and bulk I am talking about in these drapes. I have never been a drapery fan, but in this house, the look really does work, and frankly, I have no idea what else I would do there. The drapes need cleaned in the worst way, and I am stumped how to go about it. We live in a tiny, tiny town, a couple of hours from any metro area, and having a professional cleaner in to do the job is like no-chance-in-hell. We have vacuumed and spot-cleaned them many times, but they really need the whole deal this time. I don't think Mark and I could ever get them all down, and put back up with any kind of success, we are talking about miles of heavy fabric here, and I don't even want to think about the cost of such an endeavor. Since we will be selling this house this spring, I have got to figure something out.
Yesterday, I had the most wonderful moment, and it brought up a feeling that I haven't felt in many, many years. My house was quiet, Mark was at the computer typing away, the windows were open, the birds were singing, and I was sitting on the couch with my eyes closed...there was no sound other than the keys on the keyboard tapping away, and the birds. My mind was temporarily quiet, the room was peaceful, and smelled like early Spring; it was heaven. Then the phone rang, and two of my kids arrived, but for a minute there, it was wonderful.
Wishing you all a moment of peace today. I'm out.
The computer issues have been handled here, thanks to my oh-so-talented and oh-so-smart daughter. We are now a house of two desktops, and one laptop that goes along with said daughter, and damned if they aren't all connected to the Internet at the same time! (Thank you Al Gore, for this glorious invention...and while I've got you on the line Mr Gore, let's chat about this global warming thing, shall we?) Oh sorry, I got a little distracted there. But anyway, we are all hooked up, and I am certain this will make life easier for both Mark and I, looking for work has apparently become an Internet activity, gone are the days of knocking on doors and looking employers in the eye. That's a sad reality, and one I still struggle with-I am good at selling myself for employment if I get the opportunity to meet someone, letting a piece of paper do the talking is rough for me. I am currently looking for something rather half-heartedly, as right now, I have no idea what to look for or where to look for it. Mark's job will be the one that will support us, mine will be the one that will supplement what he does. I still have the Ice Cream Store to consider and I don't know how any of it will fit together. Ah...see why I can't sleep?
The weather has been really nice - in the fifties at least, and I have yet to get out and enjoy it. Today, I am going to get on my bike. Period. Unless of course, it snows, and I have heard some rumbling about that from the weather guys, although it couldn't be too much a problem - the ground is too warm. I cannot tell you how much I am looking forward to spring, and it will be late arriving this year, there are still snow piles in some places. Everything is so wet, the spring rains will surely cause problems. You gotta love Iowa...
My house is slowly shaping up, although I still have so much to do. I am going to take down the curtains in the bedrooms and kitchen and get them washed in the next couple of days, and that is a big job. It has been way too long. My living/dining area/office is one giant-huge-enormous room, and each end is nearly floor to ceiling windows, which means I have floor to ceiling draperies on the ends, and a couple of windows along one side with the same. These are ten foot ceilings, so you know the weight and bulk I am talking about in these drapes. I have never been a drapery fan, but in this house, the look really does work, and frankly, I have no idea what else I would do there. The drapes need cleaned in the worst way, and I am stumped how to go about it. We live in a tiny, tiny town, a couple of hours from any metro area, and having a professional cleaner in to do the job is like no-chance-in-hell. We have vacuumed and spot-cleaned them many times, but they really need the whole deal this time. I don't think Mark and I could ever get them all down, and put back up with any kind of success, we are talking about miles of heavy fabric here, and I don't even want to think about the cost of such an endeavor. Since we will be selling this house this spring, I have got to figure something out.
Yesterday, I had the most wonderful moment, and it brought up a feeling that I haven't felt in many, many years. My house was quiet, Mark was at the computer typing away, the windows were open, the birds were singing, and I was sitting on the couch with my eyes closed...there was no sound other than the keys on the keyboard tapping away, and the birds. My mind was temporarily quiet, the room was peaceful, and smelled like early Spring; it was heaven. Then the phone rang, and two of my kids arrived, but for a minute there, it was wonderful.
Wishing you all a moment of peace today. I'm out.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Nothing endures but change
BLIZZARD WARNING. Ice, then significant snowfall, 5-8 inches possible, along with winds of up to 50 miles a hour. Loss of electrical power possible. Do not travel. If you must, have a survival kit with you. If you get stranded, stay with your vehicle. Just freakin' peachy.
A better night last night, I slept as well as I ever can. It's amazing how much a little sleep can help, eh?
The Daytona 500 today. YES! And the racing season begins...Oh how I love my NASCAR.
The most adorable baby was in the dealership with his parents yesterday. I knew this was bound to happen, and I was NOT looking forward to it. I was surprised at all the feelings I had, because my concern was of course, for Janelle, as she was working the F and I office for me yesterday. He was the kind of baby that you can't help but fall in love with, all smiles and eyes. When I saw him, my heart leapt into my throat and all the emotions of the past weeks came crushing in on me. I had to go to the back to cry - and I was surprised at the strength of my own feelings. Of course, it was only worse for Janelle, although I have to admit she managed to make it through all the paperwork of selling the young family the car before she came to me to cry. It was a necessary moment for the both of us, and frankly - if it had to happen, I am glad it happened with that kind of "I can't help but love you baby" and not with a "please do something to shut that kid up" kind of baby, although that might have been easier to handle, because when you want to drop kick a baby's parents then you aren't focusing on sadness. So anyway, that showdown is now over, and we both made it. That prompted a little conversation, and I am proud of my daughter for getting better. She still cries, at times she doesn't even know she is going to, but it comes and goes quickly, and then she returns to the reality of all of it, and knows that someday....SOMEDAY.
Have a really good Sunday. If you aren't snowed in where you are, think of me when you leave your house today. Keep smiling. :)
A better night last night, I slept as well as I ever can. It's amazing how much a little sleep can help, eh?
The Daytona 500 today. YES! And the racing season begins...Oh how I love my NASCAR.
The most adorable baby was in the dealership with his parents yesterday. I knew this was bound to happen, and I was NOT looking forward to it. I was surprised at all the feelings I had, because my concern was of course, for Janelle, as she was working the F and I office for me yesterday. He was the kind of baby that you can't help but fall in love with, all smiles and eyes. When I saw him, my heart leapt into my throat and all the emotions of the past weeks came crushing in on me. I had to go to the back to cry - and I was surprised at the strength of my own feelings. Of course, it was only worse for Janelle, although I have to admit she managed to make it through all the paperwork of selling the young family the car before she came to me to cry. It was a necessary moment for the both of us, and frankly - if it had to happen, I am glad it happened with that kind of "I can't help but love you baby" and not with a "please do something to shut that kid up" kind of baby, although that might have been easier to handle, because when you want to drop kick a baby's parents then you aren't focusing on sadness. So anyway, that showdown is now over, and we both made it. That prompted a little conversation, and I am proud of my daughter for getting better. She still cries, at times she doesn't even know she is going to, but it comes and goes quickly, and then she returns to the reality of all of it, and knows that someday....SOMEDAY.
Have a really good Sunday. If you aren't snowed in where you are, think of me when you leave your house today. Keep smiling. :)
Friday, January 25, 2008
And so...
So, I have missed you guys. Alot. But what is happening has not been happening to me, and it wasn't my business to tell. But it does affect everything about me, as does everything about my kids---and grand kids, as the case may be. But since this is now here, you can read what I'm talking about. Go ahead, I'll wait.
So, as you can see - we don't know what's happening now. I too, am paralyzed with fear that she will lose the baby, and yet---I don't want her to save it now, only to lose it later, or to have it when there is no hope of any kind of a normal or happy life for the child. This has been a heartbreaking week for me, to watch the heart of my daughter break, and not really be able to help. I didn't want to tell you all about it until she felt ready to talk---and while I know you all have great advice and perspective, I really just wanted her to deal with it on her own, in her own way. Please understand. And I also know that many, many women find themselves in this position...but this is new to me, and certainly to her. It only takes a second of knowing there is a baby for a lifetime of heartache if you lose it.
But I have missed you all, and I will let you know how it's all going. Don't worry about me, this too--shall not kill me. :)
So, as you can see - we don't know what's happening now. I too, am paralyzed with fear that she will lose the baby, and yet---I don't want her to save it now, only to lose it later, or to have it when there is no hope of any kind of a normal or happy life for the child. This has been a heartbreaking week for me, to watch the heart of my daughter break, and not really be able to help. I didn't want to tell you all about it until she felt ready to talk---and while I know you all have great advice and perspective, I really just wanted her to deal with it on her own, in her own way. Please understand. And I also know that many, many women find themselves in this position...but this is new to me, and certainly to her. It only takes a second of knowing there is a baby for a lifetime of heartache if you lose it.
But I have missed you all, and I will let you know how it's all going. Don't worry about me, this too--shall not kill me. :)
Monday, January 14, 2008
A severe case of IDGASA
It's another Monday, they DO keep coming at us, don't they? I did work yesterday, for about five hours and returned to a wonderful dinner made by my daughter! That was the sweetest thing ever, btw. No one ever cooks for me, and I was grateful-more than you know. :)
I think I have developed a case of ADD. Is that possible in an old woman like myself? Or perhaps it's a case of IDGASA. ( I don't give a shit anymore). That's probably more likely. I'm having one hell of a time getting my work done-and honestly, I'm trying, but to do this thing, I have to do that thing, but to do that thing, I have to find this thing...geez...I don't recall it ever being this difficult in the past, and knowing that I will not be there much longer has to have something to do with it.
D has been here all weekend, it has been nice. The kitties like having their first mommy around as well.
"Manic Monday" is stuck in my head this morning. Coincidence? Probably not.
I think I shall get off my rear end and take it to work. There is no point in me sitting here for a few more hours when I could be there working. If I miss your page this morning, I apologize, I will catch up. I'm going to work. Later.
I think I have developed a case of ADD. Is that possible in an old woman like myself? Or perhaps it's a case of IDGASA. ( I don't give a shit anymore). That's probably more likely. I'm having one hell of a time getting my work done-and honestly, I'm trying, but to do this thing, I have to do that thing, but to do that thing, I have to find this thing...geez...I don't recall it ever being this difficult in the past, and knowing that I will not be there much longer has to have something to do with it.
D has been here all weekend, it has been nice. The kitties like having their first mommy around as well.
"Manic Monday" is stuck in my head this morning. Coincidence? Probably not.
I think I shall get off my rear end and take it to work. There is no point in me sitting here for a few more hours when I could be there working. If I miss your page this morning, I apologize, I will catch up. I'm going to work. Later.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Ain't no sunshine
I worked from home yesterday and you ought to see my desk - it looks as sad as my office at work! I am a real neat freak but lately, if it has to do with my job, it looks like a typhoon went right through it.
The more I watch the elections and caucus's, the more confused I become. Apparently I am not alone, as no one predicted the correct outcome in New Hampshire.
I slept with a kitty 1 on my head for awhile last night, until I felt the sweetest pat, pat, pat on my cheek. I didn't move, and I just waited. There it was again, pat, pat, pat---so I looked up at him and asked him what was up- couldn't he sleep? Want to talk? He must have, we were awake for awhile together...I'm kidding you guys, I really was already awake, I am NOT that far gone, but close. But it was really sweet.
I am back to the real work world today, back at the garage, owner will be in KC buying cars. In fact, I think H and OS will be there driving them back as well. I no longer look forward to working there, or working in general, I suppose because my future there is over, along with the fact that going to work these days creates more pain. I just know that I want to go back in time when I loved my job and didn't hurt every second of every day.
D has been feeling pretty well, a little nauseated from time to time but nothing horrible. I think that in itself is pretty miraculous - I believe I puked my way from month 1 to 6 when I was pregnant with her. That is something I am happy about, it's hard enough to be in her shoes right now, she doesn't need that to make it worse.
H talked with the realtor yesterday, and the buyers financing has come through just fine. I believe all we are waiting on is the termite inspection, and I know there are no issues there. As far as we know, the rental house is sold. But until I have the check in hand, I consider it for sale. Life has kicked my butt one too many times in the past, and I don't count my chickens or my eggs or whatever the hell the saying is. I've seen lots of cars sell too, only to see the brake lights come on before the end of the driveway....
I need a night out, or a good drunk - although I don't ever drink to that point, so shall I say a good buzz? I need something...to lighten the load just a little. I am feeling rotten, physically and mentally and nothing looks good right now. I often get this way this time of year, so I know it passes, but this year its worse than ever. I am sure it has to do with constant pain in my neck, arms and hands. I am able to walk however, and I feel guilty for feeling less than grateful for that. Perhaps a night on the town would do me some good? It probably couldn't do me any bad. So, with that--
I will talk to you all later. I hope your Wednesday is the best ever!
The more I watch the elections and caucus's, the more confused I become. Apparently I am not alone, as no one predicted the correct outcome in New Hampshire.
I slept with a kitty 1 on my head for awhile last night, until I felt the sweetest pat, pat, pat on my cheek. I didn't move, and I just waited. There it was again, pat, pat, pat---so I looked up at him and asked him what was up- couldn't he sleep? Want to talk? He must have, we were awake for awhile together...I'm kidding you guys, I really was already awake, I am NOT that far gone, but close. But it was really sweet.
I am back to the real work world today, back at the garage, owner will be in KC buying cars. In fact, I think H and OS will be there driving them back as well. I no longer look forward to working there, or working in general, I suppose because my future there is over, along with the fact that going to work these days creates more pain. I just know that I want to go back in time when I loved my job and didn't hurt every second of every day.
D has been feeling pretty well, a little nauseated from time to time but nothing horrible. I think that in itself is pretty miraculous - I believe I puked my way from month 1 to 6 when I was pregnant with her. That is something I am happy about, it's hard enough to be in her shoes right now, she doesn't need that to make it worse.
H talked with the realtor yesterday, and the buyers financing has come through just fine. I believe all we are waiting on is the termite inspection, and I know there are no issues there. As far as we know, the rental house is sold. But until I have the check in hand, I consider it for sale. Life has kicked my butt one too many times in the past, and I don't count my chickens or my eggs or whatever the hell the saying is. I've seen lots of cars sell too, only to see the brake lights come on before the end of the driveway....
I need a night out, or a good drunk - although I don't ever drink to that point, so shall I say a good buzz? I need something...to lighten the load just a little. I am feeling rotten, physically and mentally and nothing looks good right now. I often get this way this time of year, so I know it passes, but this year its worse than ever. I am sure it has to do with constant pain in my neck, arms and hands. I am able to walk however, and I feel guilty for feeling less than grateful for that. Perhaps a night on the town would do me some good? It probably couldn't do me any bad. So, with that--
I will talk to you all later. I hope your Wednesday is the best ever!
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Dream a little dream of me..
My neck is now naked! No more brace for me kiddos, in fact, Mr doctorman thought I was doing just fine. He said it is too soon for physical therapy, I see him again in 4 weeks, and maybe at that time we could discuss it. I have a few restrictions, but nothing major. I can drive again! I can be normal again--well, as normal as I ever was, that is. Hallelujah!
It's interesting, though how my neck lights up like a Christmas tree on the X-rays...and according to my very smart daughter who worked for the airlines for some time, I may need to get a card of some kind from him on the next visit for travel, as titanium or not, it is highly possible that I could make the bells and whistles go off at the airports now and there is no way I can pull that out for them to run through the scanners.
So I spent the day yesterday and the night last night without the brace and surprisingly, it hurts without it, too. But that's okay, I suspect that might be from lack of use, or part of it anyway. Kitty number one had to be moved off of my head in the night, not once but twice, and he's rather unhappy about that this morning. H and I had some running around to to in the city yesterday after the doctor visit, and I cannot tell you how wonderful it felt to be walking, and also without the brace. Heaven, that's what it is...it's heaven.
I'm back to the job today, and hopefully back to the regular hours. I have loads and tons and unbelievable amounts of work to do. The end of the year...oh my. If I am not here as much as usual, please know why. I may just drown in my work...but I am just so damned grateful that I am able to do it, I could cry.
You all have a great Thursday. I will catch you back here later!
It's interesting, though how my neck lights up like a Christmas tree on the X-rays...and according to my very smart daughter who worked for the airlines for some time, I may need to get a card of some kind from him on the next visit for travel, as titanium or not, it is highly possible that I could make the bells and whistles go off at the airports now and there is no way I can pull that out for them to run through the scanners.
So I spent the day yesterday and the night last night without the brace and surprisingly, it hurts without it, too. But that's okay, I suspect that might be from lack of use, or part of it anyway. Kitty number one had to be moved off of my head in the night, not once but twice, and he's rather unhappy about that this morning. H and I had some running around to to in the city yesterday after the doctor visit, and I cannot tell you how wonderful it felt to be walking, and also without the brace. Heaven, that's what it is...it's heaven.
I'm back to the job today, and hopefully back to the regular hours. I have loads and tons and unbelievable amounts of work to do. The end of the year...oh my. If I am not here as much as usual, please know why. I may just drown in my work...but I am just so damned grateful that I am able to do it, I could cry.
You all have a great Thursday. I will catch you back here later!
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Kentucky Woman
I think I may have taken a turn. I feel better-not healed, not great, but better. I just am better. And thankful. It's funny, this has been such an ordeal...long, painful and just plain crappy. I know it's not over yet, but I can almost tell you the exact moment that it turned around and started going the right direction. The human body is strange, isn't it?
I am so very tired of the Iowa caucus stories, and they are still four days away. Do you know what caucusing means? I looked it up, wanted to know a little more about it. What a strange way of standing up and being counted, literally, geez...I don't live in an area that's large enough to hold one, so I would have to go to who-knows-where, and I am not going to participate, but I certainly think it would be an interesting thing to see. I was taught that voting and being involved in the political process in not a right, it's an absolute responsibility, and I have never been as confused and literally dumbfounded as I am this year. I have always voted on a straight party ticket, at least pretty much so, but the lines are no longer clear, and the parties are no longer separate, and the candidates are no longer even worthy, sadly, and while I know that someone will be elected, and I HAVE to vote, I cannot at this time, make a choice-even just in my own mind. I realize the candidates will be narrowed down to two and that will make the job easier, it certainly will not make it any better. I have done my homework and I am not impressed. I have never liked those that complain for the sake of just that, if you want to bitch then give me a plan to make it better, too. Sadly, I cannot do that, either. At this time, all I can do is bitch. I see no way of changing this sad state of affairs anytime soon. This country was founded on freedom and the very root of that freedom is electing our leaders. I will still do that job and be proud of it. But I certainly feel for anyone that has the task of attempting to clean up the mess that has been made. I am still proud to be an American, and this is still the greatest nation in the world. I certainly hope that whomever inherits this huge job of cleaning up after this administration, can make some sort of progress toward a unified good. I suppose that's enough said...
H an I actually went out last night and had some fun. I can't tell you how great it was to be out, and walking! We got back home early, and then I actually slept for about seven hours. I think I may be a new person today.
I woke up to a little Deep Purple this morning, Kentucky Woman...I have to confess I heard it in the car yesterday afternoon, I guess that's why it's in my mind.
Now I think Kitty 1 is getting the cold that Kitty 2 is now over. He is sneezing and crabby...but then he is crabby all the time...but it certainly hasn't affected his appetite any.
D is not feeling well either. I think she is going to have a really long nine months. I think we are ALL going to have a really long nine months. Right now, she has a bad cold, and that sucks when you are pregnant.
I think I should get up and do something today. I have been sitting here long enough. I want to get all the Christmas put away, I don't know if I'm energetic enough for that today, or if I'll wait until Tuesday. I've always heard that it should be left up until the new year, that it's bad luck if it isn't. I know I don't want any more bad luck---Tuesday is looking better all the time.
Have a great Sunday!
I am so very tired of the Iowa caucus stories, and they are still four days away. Do you know what caucusing means? I looked it up, wanted to know a little more about it. What a strange way of standing up and being counted, literally, geez...I don't live in an area that's large enough to hold one, so I would have to go to who-knows-where, and I am not going to participate, but I certainly think it would be an interesting thing to see. I was taught that voting and being involved in the political process in not a right, it's an absolute responsibility, and I have never been as confused and literally dumbfounded as I am this year. I have always voted on a straight party ticket, at least pretty much so, but the lines are no longer clear, and the parties are no longer separate, and the candidates are no longer even worthy, sadly, and while I know that someone will be elected, and I HAVE to vote, I cannot at this time, make a choice-even just in my own mind. I realize the candidates will be narrowed down to two and that will make the job easier, it certainly will not make it any better. I have done my homework and I am not impressed. I have never liked those that complain for the sake of just that, if you want to bitch then give me a plan to make it better, too. Sadly, I cannot do that, either. At this time, all I can do is bitch. I see no way of changing this sad state of affairs anytime soon. This country was founded on freedom and the very root of that freedom is electing our leaders. I will still do that job and be proud of it. But I certainly feel for anyone that has the task of attempting to clean up the mess that has been made. I am still proud to be an American, and this is still the greatest nation in the world. I certainly hope that whomever inherits this huge job of cleaning up after this administration, can make some sort of progress toward a unified good. I suppose that's enough said...
H an I actually went out last night and had some fun. I can't tell you how great it was to be out, and walking! We got back home early, and then I actually slept for about seven hours. I think I may be a new person today.
I woke up to a little Deep Purple this morning, Kentucky Woman...I have to confess I heard it in the car yesterday afternoon, I guess that's why it's in my mind.
Now I think Kitty 1 is getting the cold that Kitty 2 is now over. He is sneezing and crabby...but then he is crabby all the time...but it certainly hasn't affected his appetite any.
D is not feeling well either. I think she is going to have a really long nine months. I think we are ALL going to have a really long nine months. Right now, she has a bad cold, and that sucks when you are pregnant.
I think I should get up and do something today. I have been sitting here long enough. I want to get all the Christmas put away, I don't know if I'm energetic enough for that today, or if I'll wait until Tuesday. I've always heard that it should be left up until the new year, that it's bad luck if it isn't. I know I don't want any more bad luck---Tuesday is looking better all the time.
Have a great Sunday!
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
There's no BUSINESS like show BUSINESS
Yes, that was it. This morning's song. Holy cow...will there ever be a good song? Maybe that's a sign that I am in a slump. Maybe the day that I wake up to a good classic rock song or a tried and true country classic will be the day that I know that things are going to take a turn for the better. Van Halen, Ricky Skaggs, Merle Haggard, George Strait, the Eagles...
Yes. I am in a slump. A funk. I have the blues. It's one week before Christmas, and I am trying so hard not to. I know the reason for the season and I am trying to focus on that. Really, I am. But nothing is normal this year. Nothing. It would be so much easier if I felt better, or could even turn my head, for that matter. I am not a narcissistic person, I have done my part for others or I am doing it, even more than usual, and even that isn't helping...I try not to focus on me, because no one should. No one. But damn. Damn. Pain is my friend these days. It's coming back, the old pain...I didn't have alot of it, and now it's coming back. My legs are not cooperating like they were just a few days ago, and yes, that does have me somewhat scared. Perhaps it is because I did too much on Sunday, like H wants to believe. I want to believe it, too. So, I am trying. And shopping online, although it is getting too late to do that now. Tomorrow I go to have the stitches out. Maybe the Dr can tell me why then, and I won't have to be afraid anymore. In any event, I will finish the shopping then. And it will be good to get out of this house, as I have been in since I arrived from the hospital last Wednesday.
Well, this certainly isn't an uplifting post, is it? There are happy things, you know. My daughter is having a baby, as I have already told you. And that still thrills me, of course. I cannot believe it, if you want the truth. It's so early, and there are no outward signs...but I know it's so, of course, but I have to keep reminding myself of that fact. Man, that is going to be so awesome. :) And I have the MOST awesome kitty's in my life these days. I swear, I don't know what I would do, if D had not left them here. God certainly had a hand in that. But then, He always does. My Christmas tree is beautiful...and the kitty's have not bothered it, so far. I am surprised by that. But then, they have not been left alone with it yet. I think that will be the true test.
Have a good Tuesday. :)
ps...just found this little stress reducer. So, if you are a little Christmas stressed...give this a try! :) http://uk.download.yahoo.com/ne/fu/attachments/bubblewrap.swf
Yes. I am in a slump. A funk. I have the blues. It's one week before Christmas, and I am trying so hard not to. I know the reason for the season and I am trying to focus on that. Really, I am. But nothing is normal this year. Nothing. It would be so much easier if I felt better, or could even turn my head, for that matter. I am not a narcissistic person, I have done my part for others or I am doing it, even more than usual, and even that isn't helping...I try not to focus on me, because no one should. No one. But damn. Damn. Pain is my friend these days. It's coming back, the old pain...I didn't have alot of it, and now it's coming back. My legs are not cooperating like they were just a few days ago, and yes, that does have me somewhat scared. Perhaps it is because I did too much on Sunday, like H wants to believe. I want to believe it, too. So, I am trying. And shopping online, although it is getting too late to do that now. Tomorrow I go to have the stitches out. Maybe the Dr can tell me why then, and I won't have to be afraid anymore. In any event, I will finish the shopping then. And it will be good to get out of this house, as I have been in since I arrived from the hospital last Wednesday.
Well, this certainly isn't an uplifting post, is it? There are happy things, you know. My daughter is having a baby, as I have already told you. And that still thrills me, of course. I cannot believe it, if you want the truth. It's so early, and there are no outward signs...but I know it's so, of course, but I have to keep reminding myself of that fact. Man, that is going to be so awesome. :) And I have the MOST awesome kitty's in my life these days. I swear, I don't know what I would do, if D had not left them here. God certainly had a hand in that. But then, He always does. My Christmas tree is beautiful...and the kitty's have not bothered it, so far. I am surprised by that. But then, they have not been left alone with it yet. I think that will be the true test.
Have a good Tuesday. :)
ps...just found this little stress reducer. So, if you are a little Christmas stressed...give this a try! :) http://uk.download.yahoo.com/ne/fu/attachments/bubblewrap.swf
Thursday, December 13, 2007
I told you I'd be back....
Well hello there. It is about midnight, and I am sitting at my computer, drinking coffee as if it were morning, but in my mind, it is. I have my time all mixed up, but that's okay, I have no where to be for awhile, like 10 days or so. You all are going to want to know how I am and I am going to tell you in a minute, but right now, I am trying to figure out why I cannot see anything with my glasses on. I mean, I cannot see anything. I can, however, see fine without them.....?
Okay, so I am in tons of pain. In places that really shouldn't hurt. But I already knew to expect that, as I have had a previous surgery on my back, many years ago. And I discovered then, that any time a surgeon gets near the spinal cord, be prepared to hurt in places that have zero to do with the original problem, as the spinal cord is the reason and the pathway to all places, and once it has been disturbed, it can take days for the strange sensations/pain to settle down. What I would like you all to know is this: I do not have those awful feelings in my feet, and haven't since I woke up from the surgery yesterday. I am afraid to say that too loudly, as I am taking some pretty strong pain medications, but right at this time, that pain is gone. :) Also, I am able to walk. Not perfectly, and I am pretty weak at it, but I am certainly more able to walk than I was when I left this house on Monday night. Again, I am cautious, and afraid to get my hopes up only to have them crushed again...but still, for the time being, I did make it up the stairs yesterday. Without help. :)
I do have a pretty ugly Frankenstein scar running across half of my neck, but that will get better with time, although I have to tell you, it has OS pretty grossed out. It makes me laugh, or it would, if it didn't hurt so much to do that right now, but the stitches are still in, and for whatever reason, the Dr's do not want it covered up, it is to be left in the open...which I think is pretty unusual, so when OS is here, he has a hell of time looking at me. But I am supposed to be wearing this damned collar, and I am, and I do---except for a few minutes at a time, so he can't see it when I have it on. Ans while we are on the subject of that collar, that thing will be the death of me, yes, I know it is a small price to pay for being able to hopefully walk normally again, but what a huge pain in the neck---pun intended.
I am quite grateful to have all of this behind me...you have no idea. It has been an interesting few days, to say the least. The pain I am dealing with now is no big deal compared to what I have had for the past year or more, it's just different. It is intense, and I am already ready for it to go away, I guess you all can tell that patience never has been on of my virtues, can't you?
As you all know, I did return home to a house with no electricity, but it came back on last evening, thank God. Being cold like that does nothing for pain, it causes your entire body to tense up, and makes everything worse. I am quite grateful that the electric companies are working around the clock in this part of the country.
And, this last paragraph that I am about to write, I have been told not to. I have been asked to wait until all interested parties have been told in person, but hey-this is my blog, and if interested parties are reading me, then perhaps the significantly involved people should be a little quicker in notifying those that don't know already. How is that for a little confusion? Now you all have NO idea what I am saying, and you are all thinking...."poor dear, she really is delusional..." Let me assure you all, that I am not. And to those that read this, or occasionally write this--Good morning D---and know what I am about to say here, I do apologize, but this does affect me, and I cannot keep such wonderful news to myself....
I am going to be a Grandma. My beautiful, wonderful, smart, sweet daughter has found herself pregnant. The baby is due in late August. So, she is just about 4 weeks along, and yes, I know it's early to be blabbing about this. But I am beside myself with excitement. This is a dream that I thought would never happen. The circumstances under which this baby will be born are probably less than ideal, according to D, but there are no bad babies, they all come from God. This child will be blessed whether there are two full time parents or one. I am sorry, D. I just cannot keep my yap shut. I already am in love with that tiny, tiny little being. I know all the doubts that you feel, and I understand each of them. Seriously, I do. I do think that all babies should have the best of circumstances, you are correct about that. But that baby is already there and you will see that there will be no child loved more, EVER, than this one. And truly, the two of you may surprise even yourselves. No matter how things work out, this child will be just fine. The both of you will be the best parents. And you will find that I am going to be the best grandma on the planet. You just wait and see. I love you, you know.
Okay, so that's all I have. I don't know when I'll be back around, but I am missing you all alot, so I will probably be here pretty regularly. I can sit in this chair just as easily as in that bed. I am oh so ready to feel better, but I can tell this is going to be a slow recovery. A couple of days will probably make a huge difference, and a little sleep would also make me feel lots better, but even the damned horse size pain medications won't really let me sleep much. Plus, I have had a few things going on upstairs!
Have a great day today! Oh and yes, the song that has been stuck in my head while at the hospital and since is"Layla". I do love me some Eric Clapton. That one, I can easily live with. :)
Okay, so I am in tons of pain. In places that really shouldn't hurt. But I already knew to expect that, as I have had a previous surgery on my back, many years ago. And I discovered then, that any time a surgeon gets near the spinal cord, be prepared to hurt in places that have zero to do with the original problem, as the spinal cord is the reason and the pathway to all places, and once it has been disturbed, it can take days for the strange sensations/pain to settle down. What I would like you all to know is this: I do not have those awful feelings in my feet, and haven't since I woke up from the surgery yesterday. I am afraid to say that too loudly, as I am taking some pretty strong pain medications, but right at this time, that pain is gone. :) Also, I am able to walk. Not perfectly, and I am pretty weak at it, but I am certainly more able to walk than I was when I left this house on Monday night. Again, I am cautious, and afraid to get my hopes up only to have them crushed again...but still, for the time being, I did make it up the stairs yesterday. Without help. :)
I do have a pretty ugly Frankenstein scar running across half of my neck, but that will get better with time, although I have to tell you, it has OS pretty grossed out. It makes me laugh, or it would, if it didn't hurt so much to do that right now, but the stitches are still in, and for whatever reason, the Dr's do not want it covered up, it is to be left in the open...which I think is pretty unusual, so when OS is here, he has a hell of time looking at me. But I am supposed to be wearing this damned collar, and I am, and I do---except for a few minutes at a time, so he can't see it when I have it on. Ans while we are on the subject of that collar, that thing will be the death of me, yes, I know it is a small price to pay for being able to hopefully walk normally again, but what a huge pain in the neck---pun intended.
I am quite grateful to have all of this behind me...you have no idea. It has been an interesting few days, to say the least. The pain I am dealing with now is no big deal compared to what I have had for the past year or more, it's just different. It is intense, and I am already ready for it to go away, I guess you all can tell that patience never has been on of my virtues, can't you?
As you all know, I did return home to a house with no electricity, but it came back on last evening, thank God. Being cold like that does nothing for pain, it causes your entire body to tense up, and makes everything worse. I am quite grateful that the electric companies are working around the clock in this part of the country.
And, this last paragraph that I am about to write, I have been told not to. I have been asked to wait until all interested parties have been told in person, but hey-this is my blog, and if interested parties are reading me, then perhaps the significantly involved people should be a little quicker in notifying those that don't know already. How is that for a little confusion? Now you all have NO idea what I am saying, and you are all thinking...."poor dear, she really is delusional..." Let me assure you all, that I am not. And to those that read this, or occasionally write this--Good morning D---and know what I am about to say here, I do apologize, but this does affect me, and I cannot keep such wonderful news to myself....
I am going to be a Grandma. My beautiful, wonderful, smart, sweet daughter has found herself pregnant. The baby is due in late August. So, she is just about 4 weeks along, and yes, I know it's early to be blabbing about this. But I am beside myself with excitement. This is a dream that I thought would never happen. The circumstances under which this baby will be born are probably less than ideal, according to D, but there are no bad babies, they all come from God. This child will be blessed whether there are two full time parents or one. I am sorry, D. I just cannot keep my yap shut. I already am in love with that tiny, tiny little being. I know all the doubts that you feel, and I understand each of them. Seriously, I do. I do think that all babies should have the best of circumstances, you are correct about that. But that baby is already there and you will see that there will be no child loved more, EVER, than this one. And truly, the two of you may surprise even yourselves. No matter how things work out, this child will be just fine. The both of you will be the best parents. And you will find that I am going to be the best grandma on the planet. You just wait and see. I love you, you know.
Okay, so that's all I have. I don't know when I'll be back around, but I am missing you all alot, so I will probably be here pretty regularly. I can sit in this chair just as easily as in that bed. I am oh so ready to feel better, but I can tell this is going to be a slow recovery. A couple of days will probably make a huge difference, and a little sleep would also make me feel lots better, but even the damned horse size pain medications won't really let me sleep much. Plus, I have had a few things going on upstairs!
Have a great day today! Oh and yes, the song that has been stuck in my head while at the hospital and since is"Layla". I do love me some Eric Clapton. That one, I can easily live with. :)
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
and we're back!
hello again blog friends! this is D, posting again because my momma needs to recover and not worry about posting. she's home, she's exhausted and she's in a bit of pain so she asked me to cover for her here so y'all wouldn't worry too much.
she left the hospital not long after breakfast this morning and went home to an absolutely freezing house - the power was out overnight due to the tremendous ice storm that went through the area yesterday. there was no heat, no electricity - only big, warm, purring kitties to keep her warm. she's trying to rest but it's kind of hard; the neck brace is kind of bulky and not very comfortable. and her phone keeps ringing, too - the boss and employees have realized she's home and are calling with situations and questions.
the incision isn't pretty: a horizontal three-inch cut on the right side of her neck, closed with big black stitches. and she's having a bit of pain not only in the incision area but also the back of her neck and in her right hand and arm. that said, you should see her walk and manuever the stairs. it's incredible. some of the strength probably comes from not walking or moving too much in the last couple days but some of it is obviously from the surgery because she's not having the burning sensation in her feet like she has been for the last couple of months. i'm so excited for her. plus, she looks wonderful - i'm just so happy she's home, you can't imagine.
she wanted me to let you all know that she's doing okay but she's just too exhausted to post. she hopes to get back to it soon - maybe tomorrow but it all just depends on how she's feeling. thanks for all the wonderful comments and keep it coming - you guys are great!
love,
D
she left the hospital not long after breakfast this morning and went home to an absolutely freezing house - the power was out overnight due to the tremendous ice storm that went through the area yesterday. there was no heat, no electricity - only big, warm, purring kitties to keep her warm. she's trying to rest but it's kind of hard; the neck brace is kind of bulky and not very comfortable. and her phone keeps ringing, too - the boss and employees have realized she's home and are calling with situations and questions.
the incision isn't pretty: a horizontal three-inch cut on the right side of her neck, closed with big black stitches. and she's having a bit of pain not only in the incision area but also the back of her neck and in her right hand and arm. that said, you should see her walk and manuever the stairs. it's incredible. some of the strength probably comes from not walking or moving too much in the last couple days but some of it is obviously from the surgery because she's not having the burning sensation in her feet like she has been for the last couple of months. i'm so excited for her. plus, she looks wonderful - i'm just so happy she's home, you can't imagine.
she wanted me to let you all know that she's doing okay but she's just too exhausted to post. she hopes to get back to it soon - maybe tomorrow but it all just depends on how she's feeling. thanks for all the wonderful comments and keep it coming - you guys are great!
love,
D
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
luke, i am your father...
hello friends in blogging land...
this is D. i've been asked to update you all on my momma's condition after her surgery today. you all are so sweet - your comments are wonderful and just what she needs to help her through this. you guys were right up there on the list of people to contact, too - she made sure i had her login information before they took her up this morning.
so she mentioned the ice storm and the potential of staying in the big city to be closer to the hospital. however, she didn't mention that we'd have to browbeat her into making that decision. it took a day's worth of phone calls and texts to get her to decide that staying overnight in dsm was a good idea. and honestly, i don't think she was convinced; i think she was just tired of arguing with us all.
she and mark were there bright and early this morning - 5 a.m. intake paperwork and a barrage of questions took about an hour and a half; i got there a little after 6 and she was getting prepped. i could tell she was nervous; she wanted to talk more about me than her. her anesthesiologists put together quite the knock-out cocktail and the doctors whisked her off just after 7 a.m. - right on time. we were told it would be about 90 minutes in surgery, but the surgeon appeared after an hour and 15 minutes and the news was good. the procedure went as planned and things looked good. he said that he's hoping this relieves a lot of the weakness in her legs and arms.
we got to go up to see her after about an hour - and considering what she's been through, she looks beautiful. and she can talk AND HER VOICE HASN'T CHANGED! that was one of my biggest concerns, that my mother would never sound like herself again, that she'd be cursed with the voice of darth vader or lily von shtupp or something equally awful. but she sounds wonderful. she has a bandage on the front of her neck, where they went in to fix things up and she's having a lot of pain in the back of her neck, obviously where they performed the actual fusion. she kept saying that she's surprised with the amount of pain back there. it was hard to judge pain in her legs and arms because the pain in her neck was so strong, but she was moving and was acutally up walking to the bathroom before i left. but when she's up she has to wear a neck brace to keep her from straining her neck too much - it makes her look like she's about 5'11" with that thing on - her posture is so good. :)
they're keeping her doped up on some pretty strong pain meds and she snoozed up until lunch time and pretty much all afternoon, from what i've heard. she did eat some lunch (as much as anyone can eat that crap - you should have seen it) and she's keeping liquids down. there didn't seem to be much of a reaction to the anesthesia and she's recovering quite nicely. i noticed my mom didn't tell you that usually she's a grade-a-pain-in-the-ass kind of patient, but today she was on her best behavior. i'll tell you though, the nurse mentioned going home just casually in conversation and she jumped out of drug-induced haze to tell him that she was could be ready in a matter of minutes if they wanted to let her go. it was kind of funny. but they are thinking she'll be ready to go home after breakfast tomorrow.
i can't thank you guys enough for the love and support you give her and i know she appreciates it too. i'm not sure if i'll post again or if she'll take over when she gets home, but someone will keep you updated.
love,
D
this is D. i've been asked to update you all on my momma's condition after her surgery today. you all are so sweet - your comments are wonderful and just what she needs to help her through this. you guys were right up there on the list of people to contact, too - she made sure i had her login information before they took her up this morning.
so she mentioned the ice storm and the potential of staying in the big city to be closer to the hospital. however, she didn't mention that we'd have to browbeat her into making that decision. it took a day's worth of phone calls and texts to get her to decide that staying overnight in dsm was a good idea. and honestly, i don't think she was convinced; i think she was just tired of arguing with us all.
she and mark were there bright and early this morning - 5 a.m. intake paperwork and a barrage of questions took about an hour and a half; i got there a little after 6 and she was getting prepped. i could tell she was nervous; she wanted to talk more about me than her. her anesthesiologists put together quite the knock-out cocktail and the doctors whisked her off just after 7 a.m. - right on time. we were told it would be about 90 minutes in surgery, but the surgeon appeared after an hour and 15 minutes and the news was good. the procedure went as planned and things looked good. he said that he's hoping this relieves a lot of the weakness in her legs and arms.
we got to go up to see her after about an hour - and considering what she's been through, she looks beautiful. and she can talk AND HER VOICE HASN'T CHANGED! that was one of my biggest concerns, that my mother would never sound like herself again, that she'd be cursed with the voice of darth vader or lily von shtupp or something equally awful. but she sounds wonderful. she has a bandage on the front of her neck, where they went in to fix things up and she's having a lot of pain in the back of her neck, obviously where they performed the actual fusion. she kept saying that she's surprised with the amount of pain back there. it was hard to judge pain in her legs and arms because the pain in her neck was so strong, but she was moving and was acutally up walking to the bathroom before i left. but when she's up she has to wear a neck brace to keep her from straining her neck too much - it makes her look like she's about 5'11" with that thing on - her posture is so good. :)
they're keeping her doped up on some pretty strong pain meds and she snoozed up until lunch time and pretty much all afternoon, from what i've heard. she did eat some lunch (as much as anyone can eat that crap - you should have seen it) and she's keeping liquids down. there didn't seem to be much of a reaction to the anesthesia and she's recovering quite nicely. i noticed my mom didn't tell you that usually she's a grade-a-pain-in-the-ass kind of patient, but today she was on her best behavior. i'll tell you though, the nurse mentioned going home just casually in conversation and she jumped out of drug-induced haze to tell him that she was could be ready in a matter of minutes if they wanted to let her go. it was kind of funny. but they are thinking she'll be ready to go home after breakfast tomorrow.
i can't thank you guys enough for the love and support you give her and i know she appreciates it too. i'm not sure if i'll post again or if she'll take over when she gets home, but someone will keep you updated.
love,
D
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