Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Ain't no sunshine

I worked from home yesterday and you ought to see my desk - it looks as sad as my office at work! I am a real neat freak but lately, if it has to do with my job, it looks like a typhoon went right through it.

The more I watch the elections and caucus's, the more confused I become. Apparently I am not alone, as no one predicted the correct outcome in New Hampshire.

I slept with a kitty 1 on my head for awhile last night, until I felt the sweetest pat, pat, pat on my cheek. I didn't move, and I just waited. There it was again, pat, pat, pat---so I looked up at him and asked him what was up- couldn't he sleep? Want to talk? He must have, we were awake for awhile together...I'm kidding you guys, I really was already awake, I am NOT that far gone, but close. But it was really sweet.

I am back to the real work world today, back at the garage, owner will be in KC buying cars. In fact, I think H and OS will be there driving them back as well. I no longer look forward to working there, or working in general, I suppose because my future there is over, along with the fact that going to work these days creates more pain. I just know that I want to go back in time when I loved my job and didn't hurt every second of every day.

D has been feeling pretty well, a little nauseated from time to time but nothing horrible. I think that in itself is pretty miraculous - I believe I puked my way from month 1 to 6 when I was pregnant with her. That is something I am happy about, it's hard enough to be in her shoes right now, she doesn't need that to make it worse.

H talked with the realtor yesterday, and the buyers financing has come through just fine. I believe all we are waiting on is the termite inspection, and I know there are no issues there. As far as we know, the rental house is sold. But until I have the check in hand, I consider it for sale. Life has kicked my butt one too many times in the past, and I don't count my chickens or my eggs or whatever the hell the saying is. I've seen lots of cars sell too, only to see the brake lights come on before the end of the driveway....

I need a night out, or a good drunk - although I don't ever drink to that point, so shall I say a good buzz? I need lighten the load just a little. I am feeling rotten, physically and mentally and nothing looks good right now. I often get this way this time of year, so I know it passes, but this year its worse than ever. I am sure it has to do with constant pain in my neck, arms and hands. I am able to walk however, and I feel guilty for feeling less than grateful for that. Perhaps a night on the town would do me some good? It probably couldn't do me any bad. So, with that--

I will talk to you all later. I hope your Wednesday is the best ever!


SOUL: said...

i'm first again... woo hoo--
what do i say
i say-- funny you mention D.. cuz i was thinking about her yesterday-- yes really- i was. glad to hear she is doing ok.

as for you-- caucaus-es. good gawd-- you'd think for a person like me-- whatever kind of person that is.. at least a vet ya know-- would be more into the political side of things, but noop-- not i. i have read a little on the headlines-- but i have never been able to stomach the crap on tv-- ever... ever. maybe a few minutes on the news, but that is about it-- and that is only to se how much a person's voice can fade---and still be able to function. at least somewhat.

and as for you--- i do understand losing that feeling of "wanting" to go to work. and actually liking being there. or even being at the point of needing to be there. and trust me.. i know the feeling of watching it fade away.
(the navy--- i won't go into detail, but really.. that was tough)

so anyways--- yep-- if you get the chance-- get as buzzzed as you can you can for your liking-- and hopefully it will be out of the house somewhere else that you want to be .

i spose i should leave now-- i bet i'm not first anymore.

ps... i like the kitty story part.. :))

hope you have a good day

SOUL: said...

shit i said as for you twice == stupid.

but i was first .. ha

Amanda said...

Politics would be funny if they weren't so sad.

I need lighten the load just a little.

If you find it can you share?


Hope you have a good day.

SOUL: said...

holy crap--- i just remembered-- for no apparent reason... i am soo happy to hear the loan went through for the buyer-- WOO HOO--- all the more reason to get drunk-- or well.. buzzed to an extremely high degree :))

happy humpday!

Anonymous said...

damn soul was first again....oh well.. i know about the caucases..i am trying to keep up..but to no avail.. certainly hope that work gets better or at least lighter for you.. i definitely know the feeling.. my feelings for the company have changed a lot in the past year..but that is a whole nother LONG story... do go out and get a buzz for ALL of us...


I could use a good buzz too! This coffee is doing shit for me this morning..

Good for D,..I was curious to see how she's feeling!! I hope it passes in month 3! hmm,...maybe a boy? although I never believed those wives tails as I had three of same and they were all different in pregnancies.

I agree with you (and what Soul said FIRST!! might I add) about the change of work, and the lack of motivation..why work your heart and Soul into the ground only to have to walk away..there's something to be said with a terminal job departure.

I hope today is okay, and with the bossman being out it's not too frenetic!

Good luck with the rental, you are wise to wait..



politics? New Hampshire? Exhausting to watch if you ask me,..all this crying, and bickering, and drama..if I wanted more of that, I'd tune back in my three! :)

Gypsy said...

Good Lord, I'm way down the list tonight. Soul....stop hogging the space lol. You're gonna hate me for saying this Jamie, but I still think the company being sold, miraculously just as your rental is also being sold, will hopefully put you in the position where you will be forced to rest. I'm sure that a lot of your frustration stems from the fact that you are a conscientious worker who through no fault of her own has been forced to do less than she would like. You feel somehow guilty for dropping the ball, am I right? Now you will have no choice. I am not trying to be harsh here, I'm really not, but you NEED to HEAL. Am I making sense or just pissing you off? Sorry if its the latter.

I am only saying this because I care and I want you to have the best chance possible of recovery. Every time you have made the slightest improvement you have rushed back to work and set yourself back again. I understand your need not to let people down, I truly do, but you have to put yourself first, as hard as that may be for you to do. I hate being cruel to be really sucks.

abbagirl74 said...

I have made an effort to NOT watch the caucuses this time. Too much drama in a place where there shouldn't be, the US government.

Mary said...

Kitty was lonely for you or was she telling you she loves you and wants you to feel better? Whatever, how sweet.

I pray the sale of the house is final and you have the check in the bank soon. It's hard to see something you've worked for come to an end, but maybe the sale of the business will prove to be a blessing to you. You need to spend some time with yourself - to heal and become strong again. . . . and then there's the bike.

Rebecca said...

Hiya. I've been meaning to stop by...

My Chumley sleeps on my pillow over my head. I go to sleep with my pillow vibrating with his purr, an his hand on my shoulder. Did I mention I love my kitty?

I've been following the election results too, and was very surprised at the outcome. I'm guessing Obama was, too!

Sorry to hear that so many things hurt so much of the time. That makes life really harder than it needs to be! That said, I totally agree that a night out will do some good. After my workout tonight, I plan to uncork a bottle of red myself...I will toast your daughter's lack of morning sickness (something I was mercifully spared) and the financing that came through for your buyer. Hope the rest of your Hump day went swimmingly :)

Maria said...

I remember a six month period of my life when the pain was so bad that I just collapsed each night the second I got home from work. No playing with Liv or talking to Bing. I couldn't even watch TV. I just lay in bed and silently cried. I eventually became better and now, with a pain patch and pain meds, I get by with only occasional bad days. But, I have never forgotten those horrid days when I wondered if I would ever be able to think about anything else but the pain.

I always keep an eye on your blog with my fingers crossed that it gets better too.

Maria said...

Ok..I am sitting here laughing now because that last sentence came out ALL WRONG.

I didn't mean that I hoped your BLOG got better...I meant that I hoped you did...

Kelly Jene said...

I loved my job, but the last 6 months were agony due to the back pain. I understand, I really do. Of course, I haven't worked in the world for 7 years... good grief!

I think a night out would be just the thing. Kick your feet up, have a laugh, and relax.

I'm still learning your initials, but I take it D is your daughter. I am glad she's not experiencing too much morning sickness, though I've heard its a good sign that the little one is healthy.

Take care!

Summer said...

Checking in. I haven't forgotten about you. Hugs.

Golden To Silver Val said...

Hey kid...go out and get a good buzz going...that will make you relax for sure. Hope you sleep well tonight. Aren't cats something? Mine used to do that...she was one in a million.

Foster Communications said...

Oh go out and get a good buzz-and hey it's not like anyone will expect you to be the designated driver! Cheers!

ac said...

Thanks for stopping by my place. Don't let that HO King run you off. He's harmless for the most part...HA!
I would be honored if you used my format. ac

The Real Mother Hen said...

Ohhh... I'm with you, on needing a drink part. I really need a drink. I'm so tired and my back hurts :(

Hold on, I just need to walk to the kitchen now and drink a Guiness to gain some strength.