Sad eyes...turn the other way

I have been awake most of this night---the pain in my legs and back is intolerable. I have taken at least one of everything I have that should help, but not this time. I suppose my walking/running/scrubbing/ schedule has to be modified somewhat, and I wish I could tell you all just how much that pisses me off. So, here i sit, just after three am, do you know where your kids are? :) Ugh.

No ottoman or other end table yesterday, I just knew that was too good to be true. The store called - it will now be next Wednesday. Grrrr.... I did however, get my two new bar stools yesterday, from Tarjay, no less...they are nice looking, functional and sturdy enough to last a few years...I am loving the way my place looks. Every time I buy something for the apartment, it makes me see that we need something else...and every time Mark is forced to carry or move or haul something out of here, he says to me "now this is all, right? We have everything we need now?" LOL yes...until I find the next thing. I know he is worried about his own back, not to mention the money side of things...yes, that is going to become a problem soon...so I had better back off for a bit. Mostly what I need now are just small items...a print or a picture or two for over the breakfast bar, a clock for the LR wall...(yes trav, I'm taking your advice and getting a clock, but finding the right one will take time...) and other small, decorative things. Well---and a desk for my office, I am now using a table and it works okay, but soon I will have to have a desk. Mostly, I am just trying to avoid the hassle of buying another item that has to be hauled all the way up here----Mark, of course---and then put together. And a computer desk that will fit in the space that I now have for one will be one of those that has to be put together. I really don't feel like listening to Mark swear for an afternoon right now, so I have put that purchase off.

And the tv...I for got about the tv. Ugh. This television was three years old in April. Right after we got it, the main tube went out, so luckily it was still under warranty. They came and took it away, and three long weeks later, it came back, repaired. Now keep in mind that it was only a couple of months old at that time...It is a 46" HD RCA stand alone set. I believe it cost about $1800---not a huge amount for a television, but nothing to sneeze at, at least for us. Now, it won't turn on. I mean it will not come on...and once it does, it doesn't want to turn off. The repairman was here about three weeks ago, THREE times, and couldn't figure out what the problem was. He said he had to order parts...and to call him in two - three weeks if we didn't hear from him first. (We have called, but so far, no luck, btw) So far, it has cost just over a hundred dollars. Once fixed, (and he isn't even sure that the part he ordered is really the problem) it will be another $350-$400. I asked how we could use in in the meantime, and he told us not to turn it off. So, this tv has been on for almost a month. How can that be good for it? When we aren't using it, I turn it to the XM channels so that the screen saver comes on...but tell me, isn't that ultimately going to burn it up? And is it smart to put that much more money into it? And if we buy another, what the hell will we do with this one? It cannot be used unless repaired, and we can't sell it or even give it away until it's fixed...ugh. I wish I knew if it would continue to work once fixed...It seems that everything we buy these days has issues and it frustrates me to no end. We need a television. That's all Mark and I do in our old age...watch a few shows that interest us, and recently, movies that we rent. There are two other sets in this house, but they are pretty small and we have been spoiled. I would love to have one that will hang on the wall---this room is set up for just that, but financially right now, it's best to wait. On the other hand, (we have warts...lol) I do not want to throw any more good money after bad. ACK!

So today, the plan was to get down to the house in the southern regions of this fine state and do a a little clean up and paint work...but not today. I can hardly walk this morning, and that's not a joke. I suppose this is just a reaction to all of my recent activity but when this happens, it scares the crap out of me. So, Mark will have to head there once again on his own - well with the dog--so that I can truly have a day "off" without having to take her out, bring her in, take her out, bring her in...and I can hope that by Monday I can go and help him. I feel sorry for that man sometimes, everything seems to fall on his shoulders. We SO much need to sell that house...it is costing us right at a thousand a month...just to make the payments and pay the few utilities or the minimums for them...ugh. The housing market now is so bad, but I still feel confident that someone will want to raise their family there, it's a great house for kids and dogs and cats and love.

All of my kiddos are going to camp at the lake this weekend, I am SO jealous. They even have the use of a boat...the little turds. It has been years since I was able to set my butt on a boat, and if there ever was a most Godly time in my life, it was on the bow of our little speed boat back in the nineties, at sunset, with the wind in my face and the evidence of God all around...there has never ever been a more peaceful moment or more wondrous and thankful feeling in my entire life. But for my kids, this weekend, I just wish them safety and fun.

I hope that all of you have a great, long weekend. I hope that each of you spend each moment doing something wonderful. Happy Labor day weekend, y'all. :)

Five dollar footlongs....

I apologize for my absence for the past week and a day or two, being away has helped me. I have regained a bit of perspective that I had lost for the past while. New or renewed perspective is always a good thing. I also realized how many read my blog---I have always known about my friends and family of course, (they are the reason I write here, after all), but now I have a good idea about my stalkers, and stalkers are always welcome here, but I frankly am surprised at the number of them I have that know me IRL. You know how that is, you try and think...did I offend any of them at any time? When you worry about that, it really is time to shut it all down. I started writing here for me, almost two years ago...when no one read it but me...and while blogging alone is okay, it's not nearly as fun as the blogging community that I have found and grown to love. However, and you all know what I am going to say next, don't you---now, I feel I have to censor everything I write. Sometimes I am not too kind, or perhaps I don't want to be...but I cannot bring myself to say things that I know will be repeated to the wrong party or even read by the wrong party in the first place. Hurt feelings are never anything I enjoy, whether they are my feelings, or me hurting someone else. Yes, I do know the rule about not saying anything at all if I have nothing GOOD to say, but then I feel compelled to ask myself why I have this blog in the first place. So, I don't know what to do. I know that many of you have handled this problem by writing by invitation only. I am not sure that's for me. I have discovered in the past two years that it's totally impossible to be anonymous. We all think we can, we think we can outsmart everyone, and maybe many of you do, but I don't like the idea of hiding...and I know I am making this sound as though I am hiding something really bad from everyone, and that is not the case at all. It's merely that sometimes I want to speak my mind and frankly, I cannot. So, I will wrestle with this problem for a bit and get back to you all on it, okay?

In the meantime...many, many things happening here.

New furniture delivered this Friday---I am so looking forward to having it. Mark is not, however, you all should see the long face, he tells me because we have to move everything once again, all around this apartment...to make things work. I am not so sure that's the reason...but he was all for the purchase, so beats me.

Bill is out of the hospital temporarily---I don't think I told you all the original problem but it is his heart. He needs a FIVE bypass operation, but they cannot do it until his head heals. He did such damage to his brain that giving him the required blood thinners for the operation would cause his brain to bleed again, and perhaps kill him. So, he has to wait about six weeks for the surgery. In the meantime, he has been fitted with some kind of outer defibrillation vest, very expensive, very high-tech, that he will not wear. He has been warned that without it, he may well die. He is not allowed to lift anything heavier than a tv remote...and that of course caused him to quip "well what will I do when I have to pee, then?" Typical Bill. Please say a prayer that he hangs on until he can have the operation and that after he feels better than new...K?

I am after all, going back into the insurance business, assuming the company will have me, and I won't know for a couple of weeks, after all the background checks and such. Since there is nothing in my background that would keep them from hiring me, in my mind, it's pretty much a done deal. I probably won't get started until mid September or so, but that's okay, since I have been working pretty regularly at the ICS---which we will be closing for the season in a few days.

I spent a good portion of the day yesterday, pinning down our vacation plans. I don't know if I told you all or not, but I promised Miss Stephanie--my youngest's gf---a trip to Las Vegas for her birthday as soon as she turned 21. Well, that is happening the middle of next month - and some time ago, we decided to include the rest of the family---so all of us--Me, Mark, Janelle and Nick, Craig, Jordy and Steph and Mark's best friend will all head to Vegas the first full week of October. It will be a wonderful time. Soul and Soul-man are supposed to join us there, too. Doesn't that sound great? I do not fly unless I'm forced, and even then, not so much. So Mark and I and his best friend will drive --- and I made plane reservations for the rest of them yesterday. Teehee...there is a method to my madness...now I do not have to spend two full days of driving with all my kiddos, fighting, complaining, bitching, moaning...you see, none of them have really grown up. And it makes sense for all of them, it saves them so much time, work-wise. Mark and I have always enjoyed the drive, for us, it's as much fun as the destination. I had to swallow really hard when I made the plane reservations and the hotel reservations---four rooms, three nights, ugh...the dollar amounts hurt. I can spend money like no one...right from the chair here at my desk. All I can say is, they had all better have a really, REALLY good time.

So that's enough for now. I hope I haven't ran any of you off in my absence. Have a great, GREAT day.

Yada Yada Yada

Although it's not set in stone at this time, it looks like I am going to sell cars for a living. I am okay with this, not necessarily excited, but okay. It will be fun to work for a "city" dealership, that is something I have not experienced. I do not have the job officially yet, although I am certain if that is honestly what I want, I could have several offers by the end of the week. I have a couple of reservations about it, mostly physical ones, but I was quite up front and honest with them about my physical past and my limitations, or possible limitations, and they were okay with it. So, we will see. Recently, I seem to have NO physical limitations, I am not saying NO pain, just no limits. I have been very able to walk each morning, and I am up to forty minutes, without putting too much stress on this old body, and that is forty minutes of FAST walking, not strolling. I am hoping I can soon do an hour. So perhaps I am meant to go back into the car business. The only reasons that I had not considered it before was the lack of strength to do the job, and the stress that comes with it. Selling however, really is not that stressful...you go to work, sell a car, go home. That part will be nice, it won't be up to me to make sure that things are running as smoothly as possible, although I know ME, and I am wondering how long it will be until it is up to me, once again. The only part that I am really NOT looking forward to is the man vs. woman thing, and in all my years in this business, it has not changed. NOT. I am frankly too old to have to "prove" myself once again, and they can all suck it. How's that for an attitude before I even have the job? But I am serious. I will not play the games anymore, I have done it too many times in my life, and I frankly don't care if they like me or they don't, you can bet I will just be there to make the dollars, the rest be damned. One thing in my favor in this department - this dealership is just opening, so all of us will be new at the same time. I know this is a bad time to be in this business, but it sure didn't look that way yesterday evening when I was there, there were people all over the place. Another exciting aspect --- this is a Dodge and Jeep dealership, and I have only been involved in a GM place for the past 15 years, so the inventory will all be new to me. I like Jeep, although I have always thought they were horribly overpriced, but what the heck, I'm on the selling side of them now, not on the trade-it-on-even-though-you-are-buried-in-it side. So, all in all...it will be okay. I need to do something and if this doesn't work for me, I can do something different. I will know what's up in the next couple of days...and I will let you all know, so that you can come and buy a car from me...LOL

I had a really good interview with an insurance company on Wednesday, too. I like the company and what they have to offer, which includes group insurance coverage, which is highly unusual. I am supposed to take some more online assessments with them, and I will go ahead and do it, the only issue I have with it is that I will have to take my Series 6, 7, and 23 state tests to do it. The seven is hell. HELL. That one could wait a few months---it is the one that allows me to trade in stocks and bonds...the 6 and 23 would be right away, I seriously don't know if I am up to that right now. The stupid life and health tests about killed me, although I did well. Hell...how is it that I am forty-eight years old and I have no idea what I want to do? Sometimes, too many choices is a bad thing. I have not even been seriously looking for work, both of these positions have found me--or my resume, on the internet. I keep waiting for divine intervention, but so far I have heard no voice telling me what to do...and since I thought I had done the right thing the past TWO jobs I took, I am really confused. The car business, I know. I can do it in my sleep. So for now, I think it makes the most sense.

Things around here are perking along. My youngest has taken a job - HERE - at my apartment complex---and the surrounding business's and he loves it. Maintenance---groundskeeper, he is really in his element. He drives around most of the day on a Bobcat, getting really dirty, doing guy things...he is an outdoor kid, so he is in heaven. Who knew that there was even a job HERE, of all places? Had CrazyDog not needed to pee at six am last week, and Mark not been the kind of talkative fella he is, Jordan would still not have a job....this is a huge property management company, there are many places he can go if he so chooses..so it's all good.

The other two are still breathing, one is really sick with a kidney infection -- which I think is odd...men generally don't get those that often, do they? He spent the weekend at a concert with the youngest and gf, and wound up in this shape. It was the same weekend concert thing that Steph got her infection in--about six weeks ago, and she ended up in the hospital...what the hell kind of bacteria is floating around out there in that farm field? My oldest is doing well, working at her own job and filling in at the Ice Cream Store for extra money. Speaking of the ICS, I have to do my share the next two days...I will be there. And hopefully not today, although with Craig as sick as he is, it wouldn't surprise me. In fact, I am supposed to begin training for the car sales job on Thursday and Friday, and I am also supposed to be at the ICS...so far I have found no clone recipe, so that will be a neat trick. The manager at the dealership was going to see if there was any other way I could do their training, he will let me know today. If not, I have no idea what I will do. We are out of employees at the store---vacations, returning to college, etc and it's too late in the season to hire, we will only be open another three and a half weeks. Mark may have to help---although he is supposed to be at the house down south, working on making it more saleable. UGH. Things can never be simple, can they?

Make today a happy one. :)

Lefty-Loosey,Righty-Tighty

I am, once again, looking for a job. Yes---I know, I can't believe I just wrote that, either. I have no idea what is the problem with me, but I cannot find what I'm looking for, I have no idea what I'm looking for. I am about as disgusted with myself as anyone can be, but that does not change the fact that I could not make myself do that job. So, here I am, back at square one, once again. I am ashamed of myself and my feelings, and have no idea where to turn next. I am watching our savings balance go south, and still, I am out here wavering like a juvenile. I keep telling myself that the right thing will make it's presence known, but so far, I have literally HAD to have both of the really good jobs I have quit, and still --- I am so far away from knowing what to do that if the perfect solution came up and hit me in the back of the head, I would not recognize it. When you all talk to the man upstairs today, mention me, will ya? Tell Him that I cannot make an intelligent decision and that He needs to make it for me...

In the meantime, Trav is here and it's been wonderful. No matter how stupid and juvenile I am acting, she makes me feel like it's all okay. We had a great day yesterday, really doing little, out to lunch here in the area with Jordy, and then my little Steph came over after she got off work. Today, Trav and I are driving down to see our Mom, it's been too long since I have seen her, although Trav has seen her plenty recently. It will be good.

On Monday, our little sister, Shell - and family, Rob, Carli, and Alex came to visit. They were only here for the day, but it was so wonderful to see all of them. Carli has become my buddy and if I had the opportunity to see her more often, she would be very close to her Aunt Jamie. I cannot believe that she will be four in about two weeks. All I can say is she is so very yummy...and Alex has become the sweetest, most beautiful girl - she is seventeen already, good heavens where has the time gone?

I have lost nearly ten pounds since I have moved here, at first---unknowingly--from all the walking that living here requires, but more recently, from all the walking that I am doing intentionally. I am in a LOT of pain, but no more than I would be if I weren't walking, it's just a different kind of pain. I continue to hope that pushing myself will help in the long run, maybe get me back to a better place pain-wise. I have not been able to do this for the past couple of years, and I have to admit, it feels pretty great. Since my surgery last December, getting to this point has been excruciatingly painful, but still...I hope in the long run, it will help. Time will tell.

So that's it for now, and again - there has been so much going on in my life, in my head...and all I can do is pray that I get the latter screwed back on (lefty loosey...righty tighty...)in a righty tighty manner. Right now, it's wavering in between the two.

Happy Wednesday friends.

:)

Weekend list of to-do's

I only have time for a short post this morning, so much to do, so little time. I am soon headed out for yet another walk, but it is helping to keep me sane and any sanity at all is a good thing.



CrazyDog has a uti - even though we just had her checked for one three weeks ago. Hmmm...we'll see if that's really the problem.



My youngest lost his wallet, right after I had given him a check of course, so I have to call the bank today and stop payment. Ugh. He is JUST like his dad, who could lose anything...anywhere, and did all the time. So, no DL, SS card...debit cards...good heavens.



Out house in southern Iowa has a very wet basement, which is not unusual when it rains really badly...more than eight inches of rain there on Thursday night. More on the way tomorrow.



My sis...Trav, is coming to visit on Tuesday. I'm looking forward to it. She'll be here until next Saturday. She has been through a lot this past week, the storm that went through the Quad Cities last Monday morning took out all/most of the power in the whole city of Moline, and then she sent me pics of the damage at her house...I'll try and post them at the end of this post...it was unreal. It looked like a war zone. Their power is back on, but it took more than four days. All of the hospitals had been operating on generators...all the stores closed...what a nightmare. Anyway, it's getting better now.



I slept more than eight hours last night - a record for me, and it felt pretty good.



I'm off. To walk then clean this place and then to the dreaded grocery store, but the kitties need food, you know. Have a great weekend. :)


(I'm sorry these pics are so small, but you get the idea....)

Random Schmandom

Dunkin' Doughnuts coffee is better than doughnuts. Although a doughnut sounds pretty good about now.

We had at least another couple of inches of rain last night---in about an hour, that is.

There are no sofa's or living room groups that I want, other than the one that costs way too much. I have not however, spent much time looking, other than online and in sale ads. Does more than four thousand (including the taxes) sound like too much to all of you, too? This amount is for a huge two piece sectional, a leather ottoman and a funky swivel chair... I have not bought furniture of any quality for quite some time...doesn't that sound like alot? It is part leather, part microfiber...

I cannot quit smoking. I cannot even cut down on the amount I smoke. I was doing so well a while back, these days, it's awful. I think that beginning tomorrow, since I am actually back on the job, I will slap the patch back on the old arm and give it another try. I don't even have to completely quit, but I would feel so much better if I could get it back down to a few a day.

As usual, I am behind in my work again. I will have to spend a good part of this day working here at my computer. Laziness really is getting to be a problem with me. Yesterday, I opted to spend the majority of the day with my kids - numbers One and Two, running around, doing nothing of any importance...it was great.

I want to move into apartment 333. Sorry Soul, but I do. I have never even seen it, but that number sounds so lucky to me...

Both CrazyDog and I were quite happy to see Mark pull into the parking lot late yesterday afternoon.

I plan to get out this morning and ride my bike...there is little traffic here on Sundays, and the weather will be decent before it starts to storm again late today. Bicycle...you - me - it's a date...

I am both looking forward to this week and dreading it...

Mark turns 43 on Thursday. Teehee...We are both taking the day off and doing whatever he wants to do.

The local humane society (at least I think it's local, maybe it is national) are running commercials on tv that I cannot bear to watch, they break my heart.

My youngest got pulled over by a policeman AGAIN yesterday, all the policeman could come up with was a no seat belt ticket for his passenger...but of course, the policeman had to search his car. I find that so offensive. My kids all say..sure go ahead, and while I'm happy that none of them get lippy with a cop, why-what-gives them the right to search? He wasn't speeding, he wasn't making any driving mistakes, all of his paperwork was in order, the car itself is just a chevy cavalier, hardly a "known" drug runner...I mean, come on...what makes this okay? What happens if they refuse? Believe me, I will find out one of these days. No way will any cop ever search MY car again...not without a warrant to do so. I don't care if it does harelip the Governor.

I suppose I am off, I need to get this party started. I am up late for me, lazy, I'm tellin ya...

Happy Sunday friends. :)

Loose Ends

Another day, another chapter. One I must admit I am ready for, as I can feel myself getting lazy, out of the work mode. So today, I begin my job, although it will really be just a little at a time for the rest of this week, I have things to learn and memorize, and other things to finish up first. But still, this morning, I will be be at my company office at nine. Woo hoo!!

I had the best time with all my kiddos last night, we met at my favorite watering hole, had a couple of beers and dinner and we were out of there within two hours. It was honestly fun, and even though two of them are working on healing a broken heart, one of them is still unemployed but starting a new job on Monday, one is still reeling from the death of a child and impending doom with her father, they put all of that away, and we had fun. Unusual circumstances with my brood, generally life gets in the way for some or all....

I have been so focused on passing the test that I really don't know what else is going on in my world. Its hot, really-really hot. CrazyDog is apparently having trouble controller her bladder in her sleep and that worries me. My kitties are fun and sweet and just a little bit mad from time to time. Mark is doing really well with his job, learning more every day and having a good time. Trav is coming back to stay with me at the end of the month. Mark has a birthday this next week. I wrote an email to a TV station and protested their new way of airing commercials during my race and they actually wrote back to me. I have a ton of end of the quarter paperwork to do for the ICS. We have decided to shut that down early this year, gas prices and questionable economy has hurt our business, so the Monday of Labor Day weekend will be it. We listed our house with a realtor and are keeping our fingers crossed for a quick sale. Summer is marching on, way too fast for me. We are couch shopping, but haven't found anything other than Mark's dream living room which is waaay too pricey. Mary's squeegee idea for my shower doors works beautifully, and believe me, we have tried them all. Apparently, my niece Alex is dating a playmate she had when she was like....two, and I think that is the coolest thing ever. :)

So many things, so little time.

Random recent photos, above.

Happy Wednesday friends. :)

...so little time

I survived. It wasn't too bad, the babies are both quite sweet. I could not, WOULD not, let the remaining twin cry herself to sleep as I was told to do, in fact, if she was mine, I would probably NEVER let that happen again, at least not until she is waaay older. But, that is just me...and there was NO way anything was going to happen to that tiny child under my watch. The older one is about sixteen months, I think, and she was quite active and talkative, too bad I couldn't understand what she was saying....but the two hours went pretty quickly. I was told the funeral was quite beautiful and sad, of course. Steph and her sister and Jordy all seemed to manage it pretty well, almost like they had all cried themselves out of tears, and I feel that in some ways, today has to be a better day for them, the first in a while. On the other hand, I know that the day after any funeral leaves the family somewhat bewildered, things return to normal, all the family leaves for home, and there you are, left with a life that is nothing like normal....the reality smacks hard right about now. I will continue to pray for all of them.

I have my company test this afternoon - one I believe I am ready for, and then addtional training for a few hours. It will be good to get back to it. I did not even pick up any book yesterday, the day flew by...after the babysitting, I drove to the ICS, then all the way home - the day was three quarters shot and all I had really done all day was drive. I then took a much needed nap, until Craig showed up---we ended up going out to dinner when Mark was finished with his work day. It was a good time, but we have been eating out WAAAY too much. Not just for financial reasons, although that certainly is adding up, but also because I am going to weigh about a thousand pounds pretty soon, if I don't watch it. I have not gained anything really, but I sure feel like I have...ugh. I have never been that much of an "eat out" person, recently, I am becoming quite the food connoisseur...so many restaurants, so little time. Good heavens. Last night, we went to the Macaroni Grill, and it was heavenly. I had the seafood linguine...it really was the best dinner I have eaten in months...When we left, I was so full---too full, and for a while I was just plain sick. After we got home and I took CrazyDog out for a walk, I felt better. At least my stomach felt better, my legs...not so much.

Have a very happy Thursday.

Keep turning left

I woke up this morning with a terrible cold, and my first thought was "great timing, I don't need this now". Then I began to wonder when was the last time I got a cold that I did need, or felt that the timing was really great on...and welcome to the world of my twisted mind. Stephanie woke up with it yesterday, and she merely left behind a gift for me. Seriously, I felt really bad for her, she really was pretty sick and honestly doesn't need to deal with it now. I worry because she hasn't really had the time to get over the severe infection she was hospitalized for three weeks ago, her resistance is still low-obviously, and there is way too much happening in her life right now. You know, if I could just be the ruler of all things, life would be so much easier for everyone.

The ICS kept me hopping until three yesterday, then I HAD to come home and die on the couch. Because of the holiday weekend, the entire family had been commissioned to work - and understandably, my youngest was not able to be there with all that is happening in his gf's family, and Mark was the one good enough to stay. So, I was asleep when he got in. All of my kids were crabby yesterday, I proclaimed it "mom's tired of this crap day" and came home. I needed to crack the books but my brain was way too fried to begin anything of the sort. After a couple of futile attempts, I took a nap. Much better strategy, wouldn't you say?

So, that leaves me with two days to re-learn the entire state of Iowa Insurance book of rules and regulations. No problem.....

Here are a few bullet points of wisdom I have discovered these past few days:

• One should never, EVER bump the emergency button in the elevator with a bag from the grocery store, as it sends out the entire West Des Moines fire department...and there is no WAY to cancel that call from the elevator...
• Do not, under any circumstances, make a large strawberry malt without putting the milk in the middle or the bottom of the mixing cup, unless of course, you like strawberries in your hair.
• Always Scotchguard your several hundred dollar area rug, this is especially true if you have kitties that enjoy sport puking...as they will avoid every other surface in the house.
• Never, ever ask your husband to sleep on the balcony with you, he will look at you like you have two heads, and make you feel quite stupid.

I hope these pearls of wisdom can help some of you, I know that so many of your lives mirror mine...HA!

Have a very happy Sunday. If you aren't happy with your chores and activities for this day, think of me, with my head in the MOST boring book on the planet....:)

My Friday

I am somewhat more with-it this morning, I did sleep a few hours last night, and that's always an improvement. It was an extremely rough day yesterday, I ended up going back to my old town, to see if I could help with Steph or her family. She has a younger sister - a beautiful girl that has had way too much life for her very young age...her name is Tiffany. Tiffany had twins girls almost four months ago, and you never saw any babies more loved by their Aunt Stephanie. On Thursday, one of the babies died. Most likely SIDS, although the hospital is doing some testing to know for sure. It was a heartbreaking scene there yesterday, and I know that getting through the funeral and the details will be harder yet. Steph is understandably falling apart and I began to have real concerns for her. Her mother and family were all there, other than her father who is in the hospital here in Des Moines, dying. They all have so much grief and heartache to try and handle, so I just went there and sat, and tried to help in any way I could. I had dinner brought in...but doing things like that at a time like this feels so small and stupid, although of course, there is NOTHING else that can be done. I felt very strongly that Steph needed a break from all of it, and she agreed. She is sort of like me, feels responsible for all of them, takes on all their problems, is always the one that is wanted when things go wrong. So, I brought her home with me last night, gave her a couple of advil pm's and told her that if she doesn't take care of herself, she will be of no use to anyone else. She has slept well all night, I have been up several times to see if she needed me, but it has been quiet in her room. Jordy looked like the walking dead yesterday, I seriously suggested that he get away for the evening, too. He went on with his 4th of July plans, and I think that helped him tremendously, as well. At a time like this, a person can get sucked into the vacuum of despair, and frankly-both of these (my) kids have already been going through it with her dad. I know that today, all the problems will still be there waiting for them but hopefully, at least they will have had enough rest and food and care to take it all on with a bit of a new perspective. I remember what it was like when I had to deal with my first death in the family when I was very young - it is all so surreal and so unfair. It was not, however the death of a baby, and that takes on a whole different meaning. I have to give the both of them credit, they have been through so much these past days and managed to be strong for each other and the rest of the family. It wasn't until I let them lean on me that they fell apart. The thought of what lies ahead for all of the family makes me sad, as there is nothing more gut wrenching than the planning and the funeral for a child.

So today, I am back to the Ice Cream Store and I cannot leave. (Believe me, I would rather have been there yesterday, too.) The weather is supposed to be perfect, so maybe it will be a busy day. The day was cut short yesterday by an ice cream machine that has had constant problems this summer, and yet another compressor will have to be put in this morning.

I watched the most beautiful and LOUD fireworks from my balcony last night. They were RIGHT THERE. RIGHT THERE. And over there, and there, too. I'm serious, we could see at least four different city celebrations from my balcony, but one of them was within a block of us..so close in fact, I began to wonder what would happen to us if one of them went astray...but it was beautiful and special. I wanted to take pictures to show you all - but I could not make my butt get up and get the camera, I was so exhausted. So picture it in your minds...

Have a wonderful weekend. Be happy - and hug your loved ones. :)

My future's so bright, I gotta wear shades...

The sun is streaming in my window/door so brightly that I am nearly blinded. We have lived in this apartment for three weeks, and I believe that has only happened about four times...just to show you how much it rains here. When it does happen, it's quite beautiful. You almost have to wear your sunglasses from six to seven am, though.

So, I gave in yesterday, and began taking the damned cymbalta again. I really did NOT want to do that, but I cannot believe how much pain I am in, so I assume it was doing a wonderful job of keeping the neuropathy at bay. I am disgusted about it, but it was either that or cut both my legs off. Taking the pills that are so impossible to QUIT TAKING seemed less dramatic.

I bought a page magnifier yesterday so that I can try to study for my state insurance exam. It helps a little, but if I move it too much, it makes my stomach sick, just the same way that magnifying glasses do. Someday, someone has got to figure out what's wrong with my eyes/brain. This is getting to be a huge problem.

I start another round of training on Monday. UGH. Soon, I will be the most trained person on the planet, and still be unable to DO anything. I would love to tell you all that I am ultra-excited to start my new job, but so far I have NOT been overwhelmed with feelings of that nature. Mostly, I just dread working at all, and if any of you know me in the least, that is not like me. I chalk it up to feeling so damned bad all the time, physically. I am very hopeful that I can get my head on straight soon, and start feeling like me again.

One-two-three (??) (or maybe all four of them, including steph) of my kids and I are going to the Des Moines Arts Festival today, I am looking forward to it. It is an annual event that has gotten to be quite large in the art world, (something I know NOTHING about, BTW). Many local and nationally known artists are there, displaying their work, and selling it, of course. I have always wanted to go. And, it actually looks like the weather will cooperate for a change. :)

An old high school buddy of Mark's is coming up tonight to hang with him and go out. I think they will have a good time, both of them need a little down time. It will be pretty late when he gets here so I assume by then, I will be out cold, but they will wander our new area and scope out all the clubs. One of the perks of living here is that you can go out and party and not worry about who drives, there a so many within walking distance. For that reason, I expect that our new spare bed will not have too many "down-time" weekends. Plus, Trav and Alex- my niece will be coming back soon, and then Alex's mom (and my sister) Shell, her husband Rob and my little Carli will be coming right after. I am dying to spend some time with Carli...it can't be soon enough.

Yesterday, I worked on the books and bills and for hours and I am still not caught up, but I did make progress. There is so much to do and so much to take care of -- with the Ice Cream Store, my own bills and then, I also take care of all of Bill's personal business, so that in itself is nearly a full time job. This weekend, I have to go buy yet another file cabinet, as I will be working out of this apartment, and there will tons of paperwork to keep track of with the job. Our space is limited now, so it's very important that everything has a place and that it stay there, or it will look like the now famous F5 tornado that hit northern Iowa last month hit here, as well.

Have I put you all to sleep yet? Good heavens, when did I get to be so boring? Has it always been this way when you read here? Wait a minute, don't answer that...

Have a most happy weekend. :)

Monday Misery? Mania? Mutterings? Melancholy? (why are all the M adjectives negative?)

Up again at three-thirty, not the time I had hoped for the beginning of my day...but recently, it's the best I can do.

The weekend was good. Mark and I had a good day yesterday, doing literally nothing, other than making a trip to the grocery store, (for just a few things...175 dollars later, we carried it all in). That dollar amount in groceries will not even fit in this apartment, but I must tell you, it's all in and I can't see any of it, so I must have found a place for it all. Although, alot of that money went to things like kitty litter, shampoo, soaps of various types, mosquito repellent, a t-shirt for me, stock-up amounts of paper products...you name it, we bought it, and I must say, I still hate to shop. Later in the day, Janelle came over for home made nachos and a little NASCAR action, then our friend and previous finance manager at the dealership came over in the evening. It was a nice time, and it was great to see her again. I have missed her very much, but the job situation seemed to be getting in the way, as she took over my old job there, and is now working for mr asshat. She is handling it well, both him and the job, but then I knew she would-if for no other reason-than she was trained by me...LOL. Seriously, way back, a gazillion years ago, I knew she was special and had alot on the ball, so I hired her, and she was just a baby then...and now, when I see all that she has accomplished, it's almost like she's one of my kids...I get the same proud feeling. So, it was a good day. I worry that she will get caught up in what I know will eventually be crossfire on the job, but she tells me she watches out for herself, and I hope that is true. It's amazing to me how many people that I genuinely love came out of that place, and Misty has to be at the top of my list.

On Saturday, Mark headed off the the old house to work, and he was gracious enough to act like it didn't bother him that I stayed behind to work on the books for the ICS. I had THE most awesome day that day, here all by myself, just able to do what I wanted, on my own schedule. I never did touch one thing that had to do with the store, but I worked all day long. All by myself. I cleaned, did laundry...puttered and putzed. And I listened to each and every one of George Strait's 50 greatest hits. Loud. And no one complained, no one cared, and it felt absolutely awesome. Then, I took a short nap. I was in heaven. In the evening, Mark and I walked down to the chinese place and ate dinner, it was just a wonderful day. And I was grateful to have it. I cannot remember the last time I was able to do what I wanted, verses what HAD to be done. The work for the ICS does have to be done however, and tomorrow will have to be the day. I am getting down to zero time before I begin my new job, training begins a week from today, and my study book for the state Life and Health Insurance License should arrive on Wednesday, so once that is here, you all know what I will be doing. Also, I am scheduled for two full days at the ICS, and the first one is today, so I have that thrown into the mix, as well. I don't mind working at the store, but it certainly does aggravate my pain, and I am beginning to understand how much the cymbalta that I so desperately wanted to be free of, worked for neuropathy pain. I feel no ill effect due to the depression that had set in back a year or more ago when I began taking it, so being off of it in that respect is fine, but man-oh-man, the pain and burning feelings in my feet and legs is back with a vengeance and not going anywhere any time soon. I certainly hope that the major medical insurance I will be selling is decent, as I will be my first customer. And the coverage can come none too soon, although I am sure there will be a period of "pre-existing conditions" and that part will not be too handy...

Here are a couple of pics from yesterday----

I liked the look of us twelve years ago, way better. teehee

Have a wonderful Monday, friends. :)

Want a quickie?

Above are a few pics from yesterday...A woodpecker from my moms back yard (lolol that word always makes me giggle), my moms beautiful dog - Ginger, my mom and trav, and a hibiscus (is that how you spell it?) from her back bush....

Just a "quickie" --- I don't love them, but there are times when they are appropriate....teehee

I took the job. Start training the end of the month...and now, more studying for my state license.

My little Steph is out of the hospital, but feeling pretty shot.

My mom is doing well, and Richard is healing perfectly after his surgery.

Trav is killing me, shopping and running, but we are having a wonderful time. She goes home tonight.

Will catch up with all of you soon.

:)

Tuesday turmoil

I am completely unable to comprehend time recently, just so you know. It seems the less I have scheduled to do, the more I am running around consistently, but actually doing nothing. When on earth would I have the time to work right now, had I not quit my ever-so-irritating, too-many-chiefs-and-not-enough-Indians type of job? I cannot remember the last time that I just sat down. And watched tv, or read my book, or did nothing. Even praying has become a hit a miss thing with me...(sorry God).

Trav and I are having a great time together, but it has been such a whirlwind, we won't know it until she is back home.Yesterday, we ran from here to there, then back to there, then to the ICS, then home, and hell it was after ten pm when we got here. And we returned to a lovely MESS of the worst kind, as CrazyDog is having stomach issues and how great is that, when she cannot go out without a leash and a navigator? It was not fun, to say the least, but it might explain what we had previously chalked up to even more crazy than normal...well, that and the current full moon, which has always affected her.

I think I will be working for UGA. It is an insurance organization, one that I have high regard for, and a pay structure like no other. The position was offered to me yesterday, assuming that they find I am not a convicted serial killer, and since we all know I have NOT been convicted, there should be no problem...teehee. It is strictly sales, and I have been selling something most of my life, but it's a do or die kind of job. That does not worry me, but the financial is something to consider, since there can be little planning in the early stages. I will have to go back and get my Iowa life and health license (oh NO, more studying....), but I have had all of the state insurance licenses at one time or another, so that will not be a big deal. I still have my credit life and health license, as there had to be one licensed agent in the dealership to sell the various insurance products that we offered. The problem is, it will be about two weeks until I can begin their training, (thank heaven that I don't have to go out of town for that), and then it will be at least another week or two before the money starts coming in, so I just have to figure out how to keep going financially until then. But, where there's a will, there's a way. I like sales, I like making my own hours, I like most of the details about the job in general. It will require some hard work now, but in about ten years, holy crap - I might even get to retire early. I feel very lucky to have had it offered to me, and the division manager that did was highly complimentary, and I needed that right now...so, I have to let them know by today...and my answer will most likely be yes. In the meantime, I have signed back on for a bit of a gig at the ICS, so that I can help take a little pressure off of Craig, running that place will make you old waaaaay before your time.

Today, Trav and I make the trek back to our mom's town, another two hours in the car. Ugh. Then we are going to hurry home so that we can spend a little time wandering all the shops here, we haven't had a chance to do that yet. Unless you count Target, and my sister does love her some Target...

Happy Tuesday!!!!

Monday Monday

Yesterday turned out to be quite a day...

Steph, my youngest's gf, (often thought of as my own daughter), ended up in the hospital. She and Jordan had been at an outside music festival all weekend. They camped, as they do several times a year at this nearby affair, and it's something they look forward to each and every time it is held. On Friday night, she stepped on a thorn that really stuck in her foot, and it had to be pulled out. The entire festival area had been flooded within the past week, but the water had receded enough to hold the event, but the remaining mud was really bad. Because they were basically camping in a very wet area, the kids wore flip flops all weekend. By Sunday morning, her entire leg, from her toes to the very top of her thigh was swollen, red, hot. Yep, you guessed it, an infection from flood mud...and she is really quite ill. The doctors in the emergency room didn't hesitate, they stuck in an iv, and sent her to her room. I believe she is hoping to get out of there today, but I'd say after looking at her leg, it's going to be awhile...I am grateful that they had the sense to get her to the hospital quickly, as those kinds of infections can be really, really scary. Jordy said that he wanted to take her to the hospital on Saturday, but she wouldn't go, she was having too much fun. They had no idea it could be infection, they really thought she must have injured her leg somehow when it began to swell on Saturday. Damned kids, they will be the death of me. Janelle and I went and visited her last evening, and she looks good in spite of what ails her..I love that kid so much.

Poor Mark, he left about eight yesterday morning, and what should have taken him three hours to get to the Quad Cities to pick up Trav took nearly six...and he never did make it all the way there, Trav and her husband Jim, met him in some small town in Illinois...the flood water made it pretty impossible to get there. We knew that it was bad in some parts of the state, we just weren't aware that it was that bad. So he spent most all of his fathers day on the road, and he was such an un-happy camper by the time he got home.

I spent the day cleaning and cooking and taking CrazyDog out for a walk. She has been doing very well since we moved here, but yesterday was not a good day for her...by last evening, I was ready to pitch her off the balcony. Like everyone, she has good and bad days, but her craziness was a real issue yesterday. Janelle came over later in the day, and spent the evening here, with us. Her bf has been sitting in Iowa City since last Thursday, trying to protect some hugely expensive telecommunications equipment from flood water, so she has been alone all weekend. It was good to have her here with me.

Today, I am off to two interviews. One is for a job I think I would really like, the other ---- I'm not so sure. I had one on Friday at a bank that I forgot to tell you all went really well, and I feel like they will be calling today or tomorrow for a second interview. Just so you all know, I hate interviewing, the whole process is so stupid. They represent themselves in the best possible light, and I do the same. How helpful is that? But I'll keep playing the game until I find the right one.

This morning, Trav and I are going to get out and wander, well - as much an she can, she's wearing this most attractive boot thingy on her leg for a fracture in the top of her foot...this is the second time she has broken the small bones in her feet for no apparent reason. So, she is back to the orthopedic doctor on Friday...never a dull medical moment in this family...

Hope your Monday is wonderful. :)

Thursday update

Here I am again, up at two am, after sleeping for just a couple of hours. What is up with that?

It is raining, again. Does anyone have the necessary plans to build an ark? I may need to borrow them, if you wouldn't mind. The flooding here is getting pretty out of hand, and making the national news. Not that I have been able to see the news, our satellite tv provider has been a bit of an ass and I still am without my FOX news. Damn. Friday is now the promised date. I certainly hope so, I may go just a little ballistic if I don't get my tv hooked up before another weekend. Funny how spoiled we are, and living with even one inconvenience can really piss a fella off...

We went and bought a bed - so that Trav can visit this next week. I am quite excited about that. It is also a bed for Soul, because I am not going to take "no" for an answer, soon. Just going to buy it was an ordeal, there was an accident on the interstate, apparently caused by flooding, that created a huge traffic tie-up, and it was over an hour just to go about ten miles. Welcome to city life, Jamie. :)

I have had an amazing number of responses to only a few jobs that I applied for, hell I had four calls today alone, and a couple of initial contacts by email. It's funny because when I was still living in Podunk, I must have sent out hundreds of resumes, this time I applied for about ten and look at the results! I have an interview for a branch manager position with my own personal bank on Friday, and a second interview (on the phone) with the George May company, in the next day or two. I had the initial one today, and if I should decide to work for them, I will be going to Chicago on the 23rd. Now I am confused and don't know which way to turn, and while I realize that the decision is not only up to me, but also to the companies to which I applied, the decisions could be rough.

Yesterday was not the happiest day I have ever had, Mark is tense, his work is not going the greatest. He is not really capable of being a roll - with - the- flow kind of guy, and I hate to see him so tense and unhappy.

I am getting tired once again, and I think I i will see if I can sleep for awhile. I will be back - :)

Well crap...

Good Morning. It's Sunday, and it's seriously about time. This week has literally been hell, and it was shortened by a day off on Monday! In fact, when I think about it, my life has been hell for the past four weeks...if not longer. I am running on way past empty, no energy, no passion, no fun, no interest. I probably ought to let you in on a secret I have been keeping the past couple of days: There is no way this job is going to work for me. I don't like anything about it, other than the clients and the reason they are there. Seems like that should be the most important thing, doesn't it? It isn't. The MOST important thing at my new job is corporate bullshit. Corporate policy this, corporate policy that, rules that make literally no sense, no time during the day to figure out what the hell I should do next, and then a call - "hey, I didn't get a report on so and so this morning..." Well of course you didn't. I was busy doing the work I thought I was hired to do. Reports on progress and SALES nightly. Okay, I can deal with that, not that I understand what they will do with that information at eight pm, but okay, I'm sending it. And that means a total of eight reports, EIGHT, that virtually all say the same thing, in a different format. And they are sent to the same four people, every night. It cannot be at eight am the next morning, it must be at night. Fine. But now, they need a mid day report, too. A fucking mid day report! This is how many people we have presented the program to, this is how many bought it. This is how many lead calls we have had, this is how many appointments we have left today. No problem, I can do that, too. The problem comes in when you run about a hundred and a half clients through the place each day, most there for weigh ins and a short consult, but some has issues and troubles and problems that have to be dealt with, after all, that is what they paid for. I can only schedule so many employees each day, we have to keep payroll costs down at all times, and when I walk out to the waiting area, and it's overflowing, I am NOT going to make those folks wait while I'm putting together the mid day numbers..No this isn't going to work. I have to hurry to the bank each morning, the deposit must be made by ten am. Okay, I'll do that that, but you and I both know that ten am has nothing to do with anything. But apparently they keep track of the time stamp on the receipt. And, the most actual cash I have ever had to deposit so far was about fifty dollars! Most pay by credit card or electronic check, so I am hurrying off to get that seventeen dollars deposited....Bloody hell, what a bunch of morons.

I am trying so hard to be the good little employee. I am afraid it's just not in me. I am too much of a rebel, a bitch. Already, I want to tell them to stick their rules up their you know whats... And I haven't even begun to tell you all about the staff I have, already there has been a damned near bloody mess over a two hundred dollar sale, which translates into about five dollars in that employees paycheck, but we have had tears and drama and ugh...BULLSHIT. I am not going to be able to do this.

I am however, stuck there until I can find something else. My attitude is bad, and I had better find that something else soon. I really had thought this would be the perfect thing for me, and I am really disappointed, in the job, in myself, in all of it. Not to mention, I am exhausted beyond belief. That part alone is probably the worst - and this week, hopefully, that will get better. I will have to stay in the city, and I hate that idea, but I cannot do this anymore. I want to be moved and settled so badly, we have not gotten the final word on the apartment yet, but the manager of the property said so far, everything looks great, employment verification is all that's left. So, next weekend, we should be able to move some of our things in. There is not one thing packed in my house, I have no idea how any of this will work out, and no time or energy to even think about it. Oh my, I think I should stop writing now, I am depressing even me! So, you all have a great Sunday. I am going to try to get to all of your pages this morning, I have missed you.

:)

Blink me into the future, will ya?

What a crazy, whirlwind weekend this has been. Not a moment to stop and sit, running all the time. Needless to say, I'm tired, worn all the way through and somewhat cranky. :)

Today, however, I don't believe I have to leave this house, and that is more than fine with me. Although if I keep with plans made for this day, I will be busy packing boxes to move and getting ready for a long, hard week of work. I am going to try to commute, although just the idea makes me tired, I am already working most days from open to close, which is eleven hours, add three and a half hours of commuting to that, I'm wondering how long that will last. I can stay in Des Moines, but I don't want to stay in a hotel anymore, I am really, really tired of that. I guess I will just have to see. I do know that I need to iron and get a week's worth of clothes ready today, there will be no time for any of that each day. If you all knew how iron challenged I was, you would laugh. Mark is no better, and he is ex-military! I really thought that a military man had to be a good ironer. But anyway, I generally add more wrinkles than take them out, it's almost funny.

We did spend (waste) all day on Saturday looking at apartments. No go, on any of them. Most of them just won't take a Chow. They will take a dog, in some cases, even a big dog, but they will not take her breed. The only one that actually said they would, I just won't live in. Ugh. We did find another one that would suit our needs but in the long run, it will run way more money than the apartment I told you all about last week, so we will be calling first thing tomorrow to find out if the one that I described to you then is still available. It was the one that was in among the shops and restaurants...do you remember? It probably is no longer available, things like that don't last too long, if so, then I have no idea what we will do. It will just have to fall into place, I am out of energy to worry about it. So, I will attempt to start packing up this place, even though I have zero idea to what location we will take all this stuff.

Yesterday, we went to the ICS, we hadn't seen Craig for quite awhile. He is tired and worn out, but making it. He has a huge amount of responsibility now, and that is alot to ask of a 23-but-will-be-24-this-Thursday. He is doing a really good job, though. Janelle was there, working with him yesterday. It was good to see the both of them. Then we took a break and went to my favorite place, had a few beers and took a time out. We got in somewhat late, although before midnight, and I am feeling it all today. I spent a good portion of my morning yesterday trying to clean this place up, and that is just a waste of time, so much of what had been here all these years has been gotten rid of, that attempting to make it look like my home once again is just stupid. I just cannot live among a mess, and there is no way to avoid it right now. Someone just blink me into the new place, all unpacked and ready to go, will ya?

The weather here last night was down right scary, as I know it has been in so many places. Tornado's too close for comfort, seven dead here in Iowa, alone. What a strange weather year. And they say the storm season is just beginning.

Well, I have bills to pay, money to deposit and a race to watch, although I already know who won...but I may just watch all six hours today...You all have a wonderful, wonderful day today. :)

Just call me Red...

No, no, no...I don't want it to be Sunday already, that means I have to leave again, today. Ugh. I have had a great weekend home, although we actually haven't been home at all. I have been running around like a fool, trying to get it all done before I'm out the door again, and none of it is done, if you want the truth. In fact, my sweet, most wonderful husband is going to drive me all the way back to Minnesota today, so that I can hit the books on the way. There has been zero time for studying, and there is a huge exam on product knowledge/client flow/medical exceptions/counseling technique tomorrow. I think that is the sweetest thing ever. I will not need the car while I'm there, everything I could possibly need is within walking distance, so this seems to be the most viable solution. Plus, it gives us that much more time to get caught up, there has been little time for talking this weekend.

I got to see all of my wonderful kids yesterday, and it was great. I hadn't seen Janelle is a long time, or Jordy either, actually. They are all doing fine, Jordy and Steph seem quite well-they are so cute together-Janelle looks great-and Craig, well poor Craig is having issues running the Ice Cream Store, and he looks a bit frazzled, otherwise he's good, too. I love being with my kids. I doesn't happen enough. I cannot wait to get moved so that I can be closer to all of them.

Speaking of moving, we looked most of the day for apartments. Holy Crap - this is going to be harder than I thought.We only actually got to look at one, all the others we stopped at were either full, or had issues with the kind of dog that CrazyDog is. She is a chow. They are on the "bad dog" list, which makes no sense to me, but was not surprising. (Out of the blue, several years ago, we got a letter from our home owners insurer that we could no longer have their insurance, due to the fact that our dog was a Chow...) and while I understand rules, frankly, I have never known a Chow to be aggressive, unless you count the way CrazyDog acted towards the dog we used to have, my Snowman. But anyway, the one place that we looked at, Mark really liked, and I liked okay. It was quite beautiful, in a brand new area of town...mixed in with shops, restaurants, stores, every kind of business you can think of, this little area has it all. And the apartments are strewn about, here and there, over, under, beside all of these "trendy" lifestyle type of places. Once you were home, you would not have to move your car. Ever. And I would like that, I know I would. The building is the quietest I have ever been in, so much noise protection, that even if the stupid dog would happen to bark all day, like we are afraid she will, no one would hear her. The apartment itself was big, new, had everything you could want. The price was steep with two capital E's, although with all that's included, it's probably not any worse than anywhere else. It comes with local paid for telephone and internet, water, gas, DIRECT TV..the only thing needed is electricity. And that would be very minimal, with all the insulation against the elements. It has my balcony...it has underground, heated parking, (no more scraping windows in the winter) and the very best security system I can imagine. No security key fob, no going anywhere on the property, not even the elevators will work without it. So, I don't know. Like all things, I feel that if it's the right thing, we will know it. But we have to decide soon, I actually start working in one week, and there is no way I am going to be able to commute for two hours each way.

We shopped a little yesterday, and I bought a couple of things, I needed more suits, and I am built so stupid, I cannot buy one off the rack. I have to buy separates, and that's not that easy to find. But I did find a a jacket and pants and a sweater. I cannot tell you how much I despise shopping. Oh - and I colored my hair, and although it wasn't really planned that way, I am now a bit of a redhead, and I have decided I like it...mahogany is red, at least when it's put on my hair, who knew?

Have a happy, happy Sunday. I'll catch you all here, later. :)

There's no place like home...

I'm writing this from my home, my desk, my chair, and my kitty is on my lap. It feels wonderful to be here. When I don't think about all that has to be done today, all that has to get finished before I leave again tomorrow. Then, I wonder where I could be that wouldn't cause such stress. Because I do have many things to finish in the next 24 hours. One of them is my laundry - good heavens, dressing this way causes a lot of fricking laundry. Another thing that I have to do today, is find a place to live. And that means another two hours in the car to the city, and then of course, another two hours driving back. But I also get to see all my kiddos for our Mother's Day celebration, and that will be great. So....

I did survive the week, although at times I wondered if I would. This training is quite different than any other I have been involved in, and I have been in MANY training situations in my life, in one job I had, I was away for training one whole week out of every month...but anyway, I have never been told in TRAINING before that usually some don't make it, that often, some decide that they have made a mistake in choosing the job, or that one of the jobs of the trainers is to make sure that those there before them are the right candidates for the position being trained for, and if not, they relieve them of their duties right there and then. That is a bit of a new twist to me, always in my past, if you're hired, you're hired, and you get to at least begin the new job. Because I have been hired to be in the top store position, and have missed the first couple of steps in the up-the-ladder hierarchy, I am expected to be doubly good, and I was told that specifically this week. Pressure, perhaps? I am going to be part doctor, part counselor, and mostly a SALESPERSON, as well as the leader. Can I do it? Yes, I can...if I am given enough time to learn it, you bet your ass I can do it. OMG - did I just say ass? That is a no-no word in my new profession...LOL I was also very sharply told that my store is the highest producing store in the area, and I should take it as a compliment that I have been chosen to take over that one, as well as a warning, as I am expected to carry on in the current manner. Brown bottle, anyone?

But for now, I am home. I have a ton of studying to do at some point...and I am going to have a little fun later today. Other than that...I have no idea. I'll catch you all later. :)