One of THOSE kinds of days

Hey, hey, hey----it's finally Friday! And the last day of being here in this great state of Minnesota, no offense to those who call it home, I think this place is wonderful, but I am ready to get back to my own life, my own routine...what's left of it anyway.

Yesterday, things seemed to be ticking along as they should...until my Mom texted me, in the middle of the afternoon, with a message that read: "call me, it's important". So, of course, I couldn't wait until the day was over, I was too nervous about what was wrong. After I called, I wished I had waited as the rest of the day was ruined for me, I found it impossible to concentrate on anything. My step dad, Richard, has colon cancer. Just like that, out of the blue. He has had no issues or problems, and merely had a routine colonoscopy, and they found cancer. He has surgery scheduled for June 3rd, and it is the surgeon's belief that will take care of it, assuming they find no surprises once they get in there. GREAT. I was literally dumbfounded, if you all knew Richard, you would know that he's a healthy, young for his age man, can do anything, will do anything....Of course, this is worrying me, for him - although I do believe that at this early stage it can be stopped, but also for my mom, without him, I seriously have no idea what would happen to her. PLUS, while he is in the hospital and after his surgery, my mom is going to need help. That was my first thought, or the second, as my first one was for R. So, of course, now I'm working again and can't be there. There is no way I can ask for time off in this job. Trav, my older sister, is having surgery herself the day before R's, and will in fact need her own help, (another thing I was cursing the timing gods for, as I certainly could have gone and helped her, had it been in the right time frame for my job). My younger sister, is in BAD, BAD shape herself, cannot get down her own stairs most of the time, so she will not be helpful in the least. Eventually, we did come up with a solution, one that will be okay, but these are the things on my mind last evening, so the studying I was assigned to do went right out the window. Of course, there is a big "test" on what we have learned these past two weeks today. But, I was still trying, after the million phone calls I made, and all the discussing. I was still trying, sitting here in my room, attempting to make sense of all of the reading I had to do from the manual. Then the phone rings once again, and my youngest was on the line. "Uh mom...." Oh great, here it comes, I can tell by the tone in his voice this isn't going to be good. And now, of course...he has lost his job. JUST FRICKING PEACHY. He was let go for being on the internet when he was not supposed to, and of course I asked him if he knew he wasn't supposed to be there, and of course, he knew. Not my problem, I realize, but I am not the kind of mom who can't or won't worry. Finally, I went next door to the restaurant, ate dinner, and had a couple of much needed beers. In my head, I said "screw it". This morning, however, I have alot to do....ugh.

The last day!!! Hope all of you have a great day today...and I will see you all here tomorrow, from my own HOME!

I think I can.

Today hasn't been as hard for me, perhaps it is because I am learning what I am doing, perhaps it's due to the sleep that I have been getting. You can ask Soul, I am not waking at four am these days! Most likely, it's a little of both. I am learning, although slower than I like or expected. But learning is the idea, and I can say I am. So, I feel like I am going to make it. There are so many steps involved in learning this new job of mine, and they all work together perfectly, it's just really difficult to get it all put together quickly. There is a reason that the training takes two long weeks---and I have to admit, they know what they are doing. I have passed all tests and exams, apparently with some grace and ease, as I have not been "counseled" yet. And there are a couple of people that have. I am seriously looking forward to getting into my center and putting to use what I have learned, and also continuing my learning. And to getting to do my job. I have never been good at all with not knowing what I am doing, and I know that we all say that and mean it, but I seriously struggle with not knowing what to do next. So, I assume that I will feel alot better in a couple of weeks.

I have to thank each of you, without the encouragement that you all provide, I really don't know where I would be. It amazes me every day when I read my comments. How lucky I am to have my own personal cheering section - and you can all bet that I am on your side, too.

I wish each of you the best possible Wednesday ever, or hump day...what ever you want to call it. I'm off to the books once again, and then to the dreams.....I'll catch you back here tomorrow! :)

And I'm back...

Well, I survived my weekend, and I survived this day. It was hard though, but I guess no one ever said it would be easy. However, right now, I could really use a little less pressure. But one more day down, four to go. I'm getting there.

I do know that I miss my husband and my kitties, and even Stupid CrazyDog. I will be happy to get home and actually stay there for a few days. I am not complaining, however. Seriously, I am grateful for all that I am learning...and sometimes just for managing to hang on...LOL

Right now, I need some down time. I am going to try and make my rounds with you all tonight. Have a very happy evening.

There's no place like home...

I'm writing this from my home, my desk, my chair, and my kitty is on my lap. It feels wonderful to be here. When I don't think about all that has to be done today, all that has to get finished before I leave again tomorrow. Then, I wonder where I could be that wouldn't cause such stress. Because I do have many things to finish in the next 24 hours. One of them is my laundry - good heavens, dressing this way causes a lot of fricking laundry. Another thing that I have to do today, is find a place to live. And that means another two hours in the car to the city, and then of course, another two hours driving back. But I also get to see all my kiddos for our Mother's Day celebration, and that will be great. So....

I did survive the week, although at times I wondered if I would. This training is quite different than any other I have been involved in, and I have been in MANY training situations in my life, in one job I had, I was away for training one whole week out of every month...but anyway, I have never been told in TRAINING before that usually some don't make it, that often, some decide that they have made a mistake in choosing the job, or that one of the jobs of the trainers is to make sure that those there before them are the right candidates for the position being trained for, and if not, they relieve them of their duties right there and then. That is a bit of a new twist to me, always in my past, if you're hired, you're hired, and you get to at least begin the new job. Because I have been hired to be in the top store position, and have missed the first couple of steps in the up-the-ladder hierarchy, I am expected to be doubly good, and I was told that specifically this week. Pressure, perhaps? I am going to be part doctor, part counselor, and mostly a SALESPERSON, as well as the leader. Can I do it? Yes, I can...if I am given enough time to learn it, you bet your ass I can do it. OMG - did I just say ass? That is a no-no word in my new profession...LOL I was also very sharply told that my store is the highest producing store in the area, and I should take it as a compliment that I have been chosen to take over that one, as well as a warning, as I am expected to carry on in the current manner. Brown bottle, anyone?

But for now, I am home. I have a ton of studying to do at some point...and I am going to have a little fun later today. Other than that...I have no idea. I'll catch you all later. :)

Do Be Do

I must apologize my friends, you are all being put on the back burner. Not because I want you there, but because I have all I can handle right now. In fact, I miss all of you, I miss being able to read what's going on with all of you. But I have to tell you how very much I appreciate all your words of encouragement, all of your wisdom, and the fact that you all believe in me. Sometimes when I read your comments, I want to cry. I don 't know what I've ever done to deserve any of you, but without all of you and your encouragement, I would be lost. I just wanted you all to know that.

This has been a very hard week. My brain is ready to explode and I see no relief in sight. Today is the last day of week one, and the resulting training day today will be very difficult, many tests and situations that will prove what we do or do not know. I honestly have done the best I know how, if I cannot make it today or any other remaining day, then I may just be in the wrong place. However, this evening I will drive the long way home, and I will get to wake up in my own space for the next two mornings. That should help. Tomorrow, I get to have dinner with all of my kiddos, and that has me very excited. A weekend away will be good, even if I do have to physically beat myself up getting there and back.

I will do all I can to visit you, I really do feel bad. Please understand that I will eventually make it up to you all. I miss you. In the meantime, I hope that you all have a great weekend. I hope that for me, too. I'm out. :)