Real THANKS

Thanksgiving time once again. How many of us take the time to actually be thankful for all that we have? This world leaves little if any time for any kind of introspection...and we all need some of it, now and then. We tend to get a bit wrapped up in our lives, and so many get all wrapped up in what they don't have, totally forgetting to be thankful for all that they do.

Regardless of the problems our country is going through now, this is still the one and only place I want to be. Our country is the only free place on earth...and I am reminded more and more how absolutely awesome the ability to be free actually is. I am totally thankful for that.

Obviously, I am thankful to my toes for my kids.They give me laughter, tears, fear and hope. I see myself so many years ago in each of them. I see the opportunity for them to grow right there, on the top. I see the wheels of maturity turning in each of them, some resisting, some accepting, all of them learning. How grateful I am for each of you. Without you, I would be nothing. Regardless of what you all are going through, you all are getting it. I am so grateful and proud. So proud.

I am grateful for the shred of health I have left. No one knows more than I what a fleeting thing this can be, yet so many of us take it oh-so-much-for-granted, until it's too late. The mere fact that I can get out of bed each morning is a minor miracle that I enjoy daily. Knocking myself out at the gym? Impossible, or at least it should be. This is grateful with a capital G, folks.

I am grateful for my job. I love it, I can do it with ease, and even the stressful days that come along frequently, wouldn't be traded. The people that I work for and with have turned out to be the best people ever...I often forget that real friendships are forged with time.

I am grateful for Mark. He has become the best friend I always wanted. He likes me in spite of myself, sometimes. I can't imagine my life without him in it, in some way. I also am aware that the day will come when the friendship that we have will be replaced by someone else that could never understand, so I am ready to take the back burner when that time arrives, with understanding and love. Until that day, I am grateful.

I am grateful for my kitties. They are my solace in a big, bad world, sometimes. They love me, they wait for me, they cry for me when I am gone. No matter how bad I look or how crippled I am, they expect nothing more from me than love. (and food, and treats and gushy food at four am, and playing with the long furry thing on the stick at midnight...) They are happy to see me when I return, whether it's been an hour or twelve. I need them as much as they need me, and I am so grateful that these two found their way into my life.

I am grateful for sisters, nieces, nephews, friends, neighbors, extended family, the girlfriends of my sons, my daughters husband, (all of which feel like my own kids), my wonderful blogging friends that often can tell that I need them across the "real" world. I am grateful and happy and spoiled by all these things.

Lastly, I am grateful for the two beautiful boys that are my grandsons. They are the joy in my heart, the smile on my face. They give me hope and love and complete awe when I look at them. God has been so very good to me. Happy Thanksgiving. :)

Happy Thanksgiving

I think that we are a wonderful group of uplifting friends. In case you doubt that, please read what I wrote yesterday, and then read the comments. With a group like us, it is hard to stay down for long. I would like to thank each and every one of you on this Thanksgiving day. Without you, I seriously don't know how I would have made it through this past year. I honestly mean that. I am not one to talk about my troubles to people on the street - I know, you would never know that by the way I write, :) - but I do not like those who drone on and on about their troubles, and their are few in my real life that I can really talk to. Without being able to write it out here, and without ALL of you to listen and care, I really don't know how I would have been able to hold on the little bit of sanity that I hope I have left. So very many of you hold very, very important places in my heart, and I have never seen your face. I worry about many of you each and every day, and pray accordingly. I have made one very special real life friend through blogging and she had made a tremendous difference. Blogging and any friend making community on the Internet now has such a bad reputation, and while I understand the problems and why, those that feel that way have certainly never entered into anything like our little blogging world, or there would be some good publicity. So again, on this day of thanks, I really, REALLY want you all to know, that without ALL of you, I would be one sad, sick woman. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I love each and every one of you. :)

I wish you all a wonderful, peaceful day of Thanks.

MOANDAY

Moanday again---that was a typo, but then I thought it might be appropriate, so I left it.

Is it just me, or is it ALWAYS Monday? How can that be? There must be Tuesdays and Wednesdays and other days in there too, but somehow it seems that it is always Monday.

We had a good time yesterday, we drove a total of about seven hours, and saw a really good friend, one that didn't like seeing me in my current condition. Perhaps I should have thought that one through more thoroughly. I ended up near both of my sisters places and tried to see both of them, but neither of them were reachable by phone. So we came home, that was probably best, I was pretty worn out by the time we got back. I will see my family at Thanksgiving anyway.

Blogland is a little quiet recently and I don't just mean Soul and her entourage, folks are just quiet lately. It seems that many are having hard times lately, perhaps it's the time of year, or the weather, or hell, the moon is in the seventh house or some damned thing? We need to perk it up, make it fun again, maybe I should stop my whining and bitching....and get back to fun.

The "most wonderful time of the year" is upon us, or at least, that is what they tell us. It is hard for me to believe that the Christmas season is upon us, but all you have to do is turn on the television, and every other commercial will remind you. To tell you the truth, I have not given it the slightest bit of thought...and I had better. The holidays are a little messed up for my family this year, and I will need to find ways to work around it. So, I had better get busy. :)

I hope that each of you have a great day. I know, I know it is MOANDAY. But, do the best you can. Out.

Chrisgiving or Thanksmas?

What on earth would we do without the Internet? In the past ten years it has become every bit a part of me as my left arm-and I cannot imagine life without it. I use it for countless tasks throughout my day, and many parts of my job require its use. However, I never anticipated all that I would use it for personally. I couldn't do my banking without it, I couldn't or wouldn't want to pay my bills without it, if I don't know something, I turn to it for answers, I no longer use regular mail to keep up with anyone, and frequently it replaces the telephone (and that certainly doesn't break my heart as I HATE talking on the phone). It was first introduced into my home in 1996, and i couldn't imagine what the hell the kids wanted it for, what will you USE it for? Funny. I was afraid of it, and my kids were all over the keyboard, all the time, and I used to wonder why I didn't GET it. I look back on those days and laugh.

Friday-I hope better than yesterday. I don't feel so hot this morning, a little weak. I will be glad when I can talk with the doctor, I have a few questions. I have had this stupid illness (lupus) since i was 29, I am now 46. Shit, that is going on 20 years! Seventeen to be more exact. I was quite ill at one time, on disability, and I decided I would rather be dead than live the way I was living then. One pill after another, then take another pill to cure the side effects of the first one, fat from steroids, tired, so fucking tired day after day. I cannot and will not go back to that. I refuse. And I don't know what's happening to me now.

H has been working with me, to help us get out of the backlog that we're in. It's nice having him there, but he has been working pretty hard, and I know he's tired. I also know he hates doing it, it's a dirty crappy job, but he's been really sweet about it. YS and GF didn't make it down yesterday - I was hoping to see them. I am pissed because I can't have the Thanksgiving dinner with my kids on the 15th, Owner will be out of town, and I have to be at work. I already knew his schedule, I just spaced it off. So we will try for the 22nd. Right before Christmas. We could call it Chrisgiving. Or Thanksmas. A new holiday! Hope your day is great:)

Went to a garden party....

I have a list of blogs that I read faithfully each morning; some of the writers feel like friends. One in particular, I have found quite entertaining, I have linked his blog to my page - "4th Avenue Blues". If you have clicked over and checked it out, you know it is written by a very talented man with issues - bi-polar, schizophrenia. He hasn't posted since the first of this month, a VERY long time for him, as he usually posts at least once a day , if not more. I am quite worried about him, and pray that he is okay. Apparently there are quite a few of us worrying - as his comments are full of concern.

I made it all day at work yesterday - yay for me! I am still pretty messed up and in quite a lot of pain, but I am stronger, and hope that I can make it the whole 12 hours today. YS's GF should be in today to work with me, that will make the day fun. Hopefully I will get to see YS as well. Although, that does lessen the amount of work that i will manage to do.

I am planning on having Thanksgiving with my family next Friday, December 15th. It is the only day that all my kiddos can make it home at the same time, and all of them have been whining about the lack of Mom's turkey this year. I am looking forward to it. Hopefully GF can make it, too, although she works in retail and getting a Friday evening off in the middle of the Christmas rush will probably be a problem. Having Christmas with them ten days later will be a bit of a hit and miss. There will be no way that we can all be in the same room at the same time, but hey, I will take what I can get. I will be quite happy when all the holiday BS is over, it is stressful and expensive. All of the fun went out of it when the kids all left home, and i wish every year for the meaning to come back - I know all the answers to that dilemma, I do help those that need it, and that helps some, but for me, kids are the reason for all of it. Maybe someday.

I was quite happy to have H back home last evening - we had a good time together. As time goes by, i realize more each day how blessed I am to have him.

Guess I'd best get with it, I need pills this morning, I hurt. Hope your day is great! Over and Out.

Friday after.

The Friday after....I survived, I hope everyone did. Thanksgiving with my family is quite an affair, I leave there being grateful for the quiet and solitude of my own place, my own life. It was a good day, although I found myself feeling really bad, physically. My mom was in pretty good shape, my sister was an hour and a half late as usual. Dinner was great-I really didn't over eat, though. With a big meal like that, by the time it's on the table, I am so tired of messing with it that it really doesn't appeal to me. The day went fast, both of my sons showed up and that made me happy. D worked all day, her way of dealing with the first holiday alone, I'm sure. She was missed. Sons came home and stayed awhile - I enjoyed having them here. Os stayed over, Ys and Gf left later. Ys is having problems again, I have to get him into the dr for an anti-depressant again. It seems he has trouble this time of year. I hope to get him back on an even line. I worry, but i am trying not to freak out about it. I am getting excited to get out of dodge, this weekend should be fun. It seems to be my time of the month, so there goes the "FUN" for the weekend. Damn damn damn. I never know when that will happen anymore, but the timing is always at the MOST inappropriate times. Shit. I will be glad when this day is over, I am really tired this morning, an late already. Hope your day after is great! Me, I have to go to work. More later.

Thanksgiving 2006

Happy Turkey Day! This year has flown, and I know that will not stop anytime soon. Every year that I am on this earth, time gets faster and faster. I can't imagine what it will be like by the time I reach 70. If I reach the age of 70, which I can't begin to imagine. It's early, and again, I am so damned sleepy. I was hoping that my nearly perfect health on Tuesday would continue, but not so lucky-last night was a rough one, but no more so than normal. I would really like to go back to bed, but I still have quite a bit of baking to do, and we have to leave for Mom's before noon. So i'd better get into the kitchen. I just wanted to take a minute here and let you know all the things that I honestly am thankful for this year-

1. My kids are all doing relatively well, certainly better than the past few years, no legal hassles or trouble. Each is well, and making it okay. I continue to pray that each one finds their own way to the happiness that I pray so hard for them to have.

2. My husband continues to put up with me and love me. (Half joking on that comment) Our relationship seems to grow with each year, and he really has become my best friend.

3. My mom is still with us for at least one more holiday season-the past two have caused me to wonder how many more she will have.

4. While it is the source of so many of my complaints, I truly am grateful for my job, and the owner of the business's, as he is more my good friend than anything. I love him, as weird as he is, if I didn't I would have shot him years ago.

5. So many, many other things, all lumped together here-my health (no huge issues recently, and with my disease, that's saying something), my sisters, my nieces and nephews, my home, my friends, etc, etc, etc.

There are countless other things in my life that I have been blessed with. I seriously try each and every day to remember them, and to thank God for them. I have learned how fleeting life and all of the good things that we humans take for granted can change or go away all together.

I hope that your Thanksgiving day is just that - a day of thanks. I hope your day is spent with those that are the most important to you, and peace - I wish peace for all of us.

It has come to my attention that my blog is read my quite a few- I hope that my boring life is interesting to you. Leave a comment - I don't care what it's about - but let me know you're here! Happy Thanksgiving!