Friday, October 09, 2009

Just shoot me

So many things that I really shouldn't discuss here. SO MANY. No one ever said I shouldn't but it's hard to air all the laundry in public, you know?

Dammit. Who cares?

The person that shall remain nameless at work is on my last nerve, no---not the one you might think. A written warning is in order, and then she will be out of there. Too many absences, too much drama. They already think I am a bitch, so why not?

A year ago right now, I was in Las Vegas with all of my family. It was the last hurrah for my marriage, and to think now that I have been living/feeling this way since then makes me sad. I am missing a person that was there with us, even though I hear from her occasionally. She is no longer a part of the twosome equation with my youngest, and I miss her. I can see that he is now happier, that the girl he is with now makes him happy, and of course, that makes me happy, too. But that does not mean that I don't look back at the earlier relationship with sadness. I have never been very good at letting go, and I am struggling with it now. Yes, I know how stupid that sounds...I mean, it was his relationship. I am trying to find that middle ground with her---and I think maybe I can. We never discuss him, of course, it's against the rules. And I honestly do like his new girl, I am getting to know her, she seems to honestly care about him, and she is a little cutie. I don't have enough of my own problems.

My oldest son has gotten himself in a bit of a financial situation, involving a very expensive speeding ticket. Great.... My daughter is having a hell of time with her life, and there is nothing I can do. She only tells me enough to make me worry, and their money issues are overwhelming.

And a very happy Friday to you all, too!


SOUL: said...

well.. if you want-- and you prolly don't-- but if you want my two cents?
most of this stuff? is really not your problem.
vegas, like you said was a year ago. people change. people move on, some stay stuck.
it's up to us to decide which we decide to choose.
i know all the stuff you've said about your decisions about 'other peoples lives'. your kids or not. it's not your job anymore to 'fix it'.
moral support is one thing... free rent in your head is another.
anyhow-- sounds like the only thing you need to worry about is work decisions--- and one relationship-- that may or may not be a good idea. but that not my call. if it feels right - do it. isn't that what they say?
other than that, the rest isn't yours to stress over.

hang in -
it's the weekend-- sorta-
have a good one

Gypsy said...

I did wonder what happened to your youngest son's girlfriend because I do remember how fond you were of her and how she was part of the family. I'm glad the new one makes him happy though. Sounds like he has good taste.

Cheryl said...

Fix what you can (work person), and try not to own the rest. I know how much you cared for "S". You loved her and that doesn't stop just because she's not with your son. I think it's OK that you maintain a relationship with her. Older son and daughter....they should keep their problems to themselves just because they know you and how much you worry.

Weekend's just a few hours away. I hope you relax and find something to do that makes you happy.

Brad said...

My mother tells me that now that I'm 46 she doesn't worry quite as much about me. Feel better now?

When your kids break up with someone who THEY have brought into your life, there's no reason why you should have to "break up" too. That's the way the ball bounces kids, suck it up!

Love to you!


Leann said...

It's nice you can maintain a relationship with this girl/woman. I agree that even tho your son and she are not together there is no reason you cannot maintain a relationship.

I worry too about my children. I struggle with letting go and not offering my advise unless asked for. That's a biggie because I always have lots of advice :-) Son....well....he will grow up sooner or later and does ask for advice. Does not take it, but at least he lets me put in my 2 cents worth.

Enjoy your weekend and hope the pain stays at bay so you can have a great time.

Bina said...

I'm late to this one cause I have been vacationing! but alas, I'm back.

So, where do you live that it snowed??? Montana???

Stephanie said...

mrs jamie i find that you and i are so much alike!! i miss everyone of you every single day! i love you with everything that i am! You were more then a mom to me for so many years and i will not give you up! you hear me momma? i wont! and i would like to thank your friends for understanding and supporting our situation/relationship! so Thank you to all of you!