Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Wind and rain and dark, oh my.

Only time for a quick post this morning, it seems no matter what time I haul my butt out of bed, I am never on time. It has been an extremely rough week so far. My body is not cooperating and my mind is over loaded. This is kind of the norm for me these past few years, but this week, it has been to the extreme. I had to have help - which meant calling Mark -something I did NOT want to do-just getting myself out of the car and up to my apartment yesterday. To say I am scared to death what this latest round of weakness in my legs actually means, is an understatement. I have not tried to call my dr to see if my appointment can be moved up, but I already know what the answer will be. There is no way. They do not keep a list of people to call in the event of a cancellation and he is booked up for months. Somehow, I have got to keep plugging along, at least enough to go to work every day for eight hours. My pain is off the scale and I am pretty good at hiding it from people that don't know me well-but it can make a person a bit snappy at times, which is something I have to control, I have enough issues with co workers on the job. Please take a moment and say a prayer for me today, okay? I need all the help I can get, and other than divine intervention, I don't see too much of that available.

I have had to deal with kids crisis's--crisees---(how DO you spell that word?) since the weekend. Having a baby with no boyfriend troubles, cars that are broken and no finances to fix them troubles, on a scale of ten my stress level is about forty-six. That absolutely doesn't help my physical problems. I know that I should not be the one they should lean on when in the middle of a problem, but seriously---who should they call? I am close to my kids, so even if they don't call to tell me the issue, I sense trouble immediately and of course, have to know. Other than not seeing or talking to them, I see no answer to the problem. I will somehow manage, to help when I can, and listen when needed. If I didn't have such horrible physical issues right now, the stress wouldn't be so bad. If I didn't have the stress of everything, perhaps the physical problems wouldn't be so critical. Anyone else see a problem here?

It's not raining today, and that's a plus. For the past two mornings, getting to work has been a joy-wind and rain and dark, oh my.

Happy humpday, peeps. I'm out.


Smocha said...

I'm so sorry you are having such a crappy time. My prayer is out there:)


Cheryl said...

I'd help you in a heartbeat if I could. I'm thinking about you and hoping for better days.

fiwa said...

You have my prayers as always but extra ones today for the pain.

Hang in there.
Love you -


I'm sending Glinda your way!! And some Poppies to help you sleep.

prayers too!!

:) web ewe,

Golden To Silver Val said...

Our lives are so much alike...especially where it comes to the kids. You know my prayers are going up there for you, dear friend. Sometimes I sit and wonder why life can be so hard for some of us and so easy for others. I guess I can answer that one by saying that the ones who WE THINK have it easy may have a whole bunch of demons in the closet we just can't see and don't know about. I'm asking for some angels to watch over you and to smooth things out for DO believe, don't you? Sorry if it gets a little crowded in the apt. but I did ask for 10,000. Its a good strong number for people like us with lots of stuff going on. Believe......
be strong...and know that you're loved by many. You KNOW that's true. Big hugs.

Kathy said...

Prayer coming your way with many positive thoughts.
Can you find another doctor whom you would like and can see you sooner? Are you close to a good teaching hospital? Consider going to one like Commonwealth Medical, Johns Hopkins, or UVA.
This is beyond trivial -- but crisis=1; crises=1+.

M Chickk said...

Sending prayers and good thoughts your way. I sure wish you could get in to see your doctor sooner. Take care of yourself.

ac said...

It sucks when the body won't cooperate! Hope you are feeling better sweetie. The weekend is almost here! Hugs! ac

Brad said...

I'm prayin sister - I'm praying hard for ya!



Summer said...

Hey Girl.. I hope that tonight your pain is better. I understand how you feel. If Mark will help you, let him. It's not a bad thing.

I'm thinking of you.

Blur Ting said...

Hope your leg troubles will be over soon. You really speak my mind when it comes to kids issues. When kids are in trouble, it is only natural for mom to come to the rescue. People who don't have kids will not understand and think we're spoiling the kids. But we can't stand there and watch and do nothing right?

Just Be Real said...

I know this post is a few days old, but I just wanted to comment on your pain and that you feel better.