Good Morning. I am feeling kind of cruddy today, for many reasons. My job is kicking my ass, for one, and i think the business is being sold, to a very arrogant man. He already doesn't like me, but the feeling is quite mutual. So, i will be unemployed after the first of the year. That does scare me because I have spent a major portion of my work life in this very place. I am also afraid financially. Plus, I love all the people that work here, as well as the owner. He however, as much as told me yesterday that he could take me or leave me, so moving on will be the right thing to do. Frankly, with my health the way it is now, it would probably be the only choice i have, but i don't like the choice taken from me. And I do worry about who will hire a middle aged woman that can barely walk. :(
I have made a couple of decisions regarding my health, and I know that all of you are going to tell me to wait until I talk to the surgeon and certainly I am going to do that, but i do know this: I am not going to have surgery for a maybe. I have been more than present for countless surgeries with both my mother and sister, none of which have ended up helping in any way. Back surgeries are major, scary, possibly life-altering events that rarely have successful outcomes. The first one that I had many years ago was a cut and dried thing, there was one problem, easily taken care of. If my problems turn out to be that kind then I will jump on that table. I know however, that they are not. And i am not going to go through weeks of rehabilitation to potentially lose what good I do have left. But, like I said, I will see whatthe good DR has to say. I know I am asking for alot, because I want guarantees, but I do know the other side of this coin, and it is waaay worse than the one I am on now.
I do think I neglected to say on my post yesterday that my neck has gotten quite small and the neurologist said that he was quite worried that if I was in any kind of accident, my neck would snap.The reason I didn't say this was the drama was a little too much and it kind of scared me. I am now worried that if I am walking along and trip will I break my neck? Kind of gives reality to the old joke---"you are going to break your neck if you aren't careful". Maybe I need to wear some kind of helmet? Owner said I need to wear a hans device in the car (for those of you that don't know, that's what race car drivers wear)...Perhaps body armor? I cannot worry about this, and my title for the day is a joke because I AM a klutz.... Geez.....Out.