Saturday, March 07, 2009

I am boring like that

It's storming outside, a sign of spring---maybe? I am so ready for warm weather, blue skies, green grass and trees with leaves, but it's too early. Snow is predicted for tomorrow.

I have had a good but stressful week. I guess the stress will never subside, it has become my friend. Work stress is one thing, home life and family stress is a whole different ballgame. Throw in the new *improved* financial stress, and I am a heart attack waiting to happen. Nothing much I can do about any of it---at work, I am plugging along as best I can. I am still buried but it's better. I need to make these next two weeks count as much as possible as the end of this month will arrive before I am ready to go through what I just did. I learned the quirks of this dealership though, so future months won't be quite as difficult. Co-worker wise, it's all okay. Most folks there are polite and civil. I am difficult to get to know, I am aware. I always operate on a "need to know" basis, so getting to know someone like me is a challenge. I just don't see any need to tell everything I know...to anyone. In my many years of living, I learned that is most always a mistake.

Family life ---- pretty even keel at the moment. Janelle is pregnant and alone and I worry about her, alot. She is sad much of the time, and I try really hard to see it from her perspective. That can be very difficult. I try to keep her "up" as much as I can. I feel fairly certain the alone part is temporary and that makes me sad...but it's not my life. I am trying to help her financially because there is no way she can do it on her own right now...and I no longer have the means, but I am trying. She did order the crib and changing table yesterday so I think we will be having a family "assemble the baby furniture" party soon.

Mark and I? I don't know. We did spend one evening/night together this week..it was almost as though neither of us could wait for it to end. I am beginning to think that he is "over" all of it...me, the kids, the kids issues..and really, who could blame him? And still, it grinds me to think that everyone that knows us believes our issues are mine alone.

Today is Saturday and I don't have to go to work! I can hardly believe it. Of course, I could go to work, but I am not expected to and I just don't think getting into that habit is good, not for me. They pay me to get the job done. It seems to me I should be able to do that in forty or less, once I am all squared away. That will take some time...but I am getting there. So, I have a two day weekend. I am excited to spend it cleaning and shopping today and doing nothing tomorrow. Yes I know, I am boring like that. Happy Saturday!

7 comments:

Golden To Silver Val said...

I, too, look forward to the days I have when I can do "nothing". I figure I've worked enough years to have earned that. Amazing how many people think that its boring to do "nothing". HA...they don't know what they're missing, do they? LOL
Hope every day is a bit better than the day before for you dear friend. Still waitin' for my email!! I should know the end of MY story by Monday or Tuesday...or at least the "light at the end of the tunnel" end. Enjoy your weekend. Big hugs and much love.

SOUL: said...

i know it's rough for you-- i can only relate to parts of what your going through--- but you know i love ya-- and i really know things will get better.
together with mark or not---you will heal, and he will too.
and most ppl that think this is all "your" stuff-- you know i /we out here know and care about him-- it's hard for all of you--and i am sorry for that.

i hope you enjoyed your day OFF-- woo hoo.
you can say that now. weekends, vacations, i'm happy for you-- or what's coming your way anyhow.
love ya
nite-

SOUL: said...

whatchya doin woman???
i'm lookin for you--are you logged in? are ya sleepin? if you are you're sleepin an hour later than you normally do-- thank God for daylight savings!!!
now i can fish later -- hahahahahah

come find me...

and try to be happy today---
that's an order! :))
ox

Kathy said...

I have routines -- stuff that must be done, but I take comfort in them. There is so much other stuff that is unpredictable -- somebody always having difficulties (I have three grown kids), that having to clean bathrooms and grocery shop is a relief!
Have a peaceful Sunday.

CRUSTYBEEF said...

Hows the sunday shoppin g relaxing and doing nothing been so far? It's good that you and Janelle have each other's back..the situations you both are in are tough, but at least you're in it together.

We're thinking about you. I love what soul said about you and Mark..it's true. peace will come.

ac said...

I just heart you and want you to be happy. And I heart Janelle and want her to be happy too. Hugs. ac

Brad said...

Don't let what others might think about you and Mark get to you. Any REASONABLE person knows it takes two to tango.