At the risk of repeating myself again and again, I think all of my friends here need to know one more time just how wonderful I think you are. Amazing - that word fits well. It wouldn't matter what I whined about or why, each of you would come through for me, and for that I am so very grateful. You all have the best advice, understanding and biggest hearts of any people I have ever known. Just sayin'. :)
Yesterday turned out to be quite a day - it seems that all of us saw doctors of some kind.. My oldest son had his antidepressant doubled, and then his doctor wants to see him again in two weeks. Janelle did see a counselor, a woman that specializes in this sort of issue, and seems to think that she will be able to help her. She also had some changes to medication, and I can only hope that all of this helps her, and quickly. It was an extrememly stressful day for me, I found myself unable to relax with so much to worry about. In the end though, we all survived.
I wish I could say that the experience I had at my appointment went better. I saw the neurosurgeon that just did the surgery on me, and I know I have said here many times what a jackass he truly is. He didn't let me down this time either, his jackass-ness showed right through. My neck is healing fine. That is all I know. Any other questions I had, and I had many, were completely ignored as though he were deaf. Which is how he has handled any question I have had over the past few visits. It doesn't make him look good to think that I am not doing well, and all he cares about is his image, and how wonderful he is at neurosurgery. I was not surprised at all, although I had hopes of a few of my problems being addressed. No matter - I won't be going back. He did tell me that he wants me to have physical therapy, and I will, that may help, actually. Then he said he wanted to see me again in a month - and I told him I wouldn't be back. I'm sure he didn't hear that either, but his staff did, and they had left a message on my phone by the time I got home. I erased it, and I will earase their number from my phone. I will see my neurologist for my problems, and actually, that is the doctor that I need to see for these things, I was just hoping that since I was already there...But the facts are these: I already know from my neurologist before my surgery and from a ton of reading on the internet, that only about 40% of the people that have had the same surgery I had for the same problem which is myelopathy, actually improve. I knew that going in. I just had hoped that because I started out doing so well that maybe I was one of the lucky ones. Now I am not so sure...as the reading once again has told me that it often happens this way. The spinal cord really is a mystery to the medical profession, and they cannot predict what will happen when it comes to injury and healing. I also know that just because I may occasionally have trouble, that does not mean that I will always have problems, and of course, I am hoping that is the case. Right now, the only thing bothering me continually is my eyes, and seeing really is a problem. I plan to have the physical therapy for the pain I have and hopefully it will help with the other problems, although I have no idea, as I am winging it on that one. My reasoning is that it can't hurt - and could help. I have hopes that for whatever reason, I may have significant swelling there again, and that could cause the weakness and other problems. Actually, who knows? But it makes me feel better to think that I will not end up in a wheelchair again, I may just have occasional trouble from time to time. That will be my theory until I can see my neuro, in April. Nothing like doctoring yourself, but there really is some validity to this theory.
I have to get my mind on the job today, and that is getting harder and harder to do. With everything falling apart all around me, I am having trouble focusing. But deadlines are looming once again, it's hard to remember when I was actually a good manager. So many things are bound to change there, it's hard to know exactly how to go about alot of it. I find myself thinking, "if this place weren't sold, I'd...", or "if I were going to be here longer, I'd...". Owner is currently in Florida at the races, his annual two weeker - and it really is easier with him gone. It's just alot more responsibility for me, under normal circumstances, that's not an issue. This time, I am just bumbling along. Oh well. One huge thing at a time, I guess.
Again, I want you all to know that you are the best. Are you tired of hearing that yet? I think we are an amazing group, just in case you don't know. The thing I find so funny is that everyone has such a negative opinion of internet friendships, there is such a bad connotation that goes along with the word INTERNET. Too bad they don't have something like all of us do. We are our own personal cheering section for one another, a group that honestly cares and tries to understand. Someday, I would LOVE to be able to meet, and have a party together. Do you think that could ever be arranged? So many of you are SO far away....Ah, we can dream.
Have a great day today. I apologize for being so behind in all your pages - I will get back on track soon.
In case you don't know by my title, that stupid song -the theme song for that old tv show GREEN ACRES is stuck in my head, and has been for days...ugh...someone else take it, please!