Thursday, February 28, 2008

Unsung Hero's

When I woke up this morning, like all other mornings, I spent the first few minutes, reflecting on the previous days events. I thought about all the folks who needed something from me just yesterday, and it made my head spin. So many of my days are spent taking care of others – my own family, my employees, my boss, my friends. When I say take care, I mean listening, providing suggestions, sometimes literally telling them what to do, and just being a sounding board for some. I have often wondered what or who put me in that role of caretaker, I don’t remember asking for it, I don’t remember advertising that I could help, but it is the role I have in most of my relationships. It’s okay, I think I do a fair job of helping in most situations, and I always do a great job of empathizing, as I can literally feel their pain, and cry with them. Sometimes I do have the answers, sometimes I don’t pretend to, but always-I listen. I am not complaining here, not at all. This morning’s thoughts led me to who I run to, who I can turn to, when my own life is too much and I am out of answers. And that led me to three people I can count on to listen to me, to cry with me, to help me. Like all the others that run to me, I neglect to thank those that are there when I need their help, and today, I think it’s high time I fix that. So, this post is about my UNSUNG HERO’S.

My first hero has to be my husband, Mark. We have been married for nearly 12 years, and we were together for more than two before. The past 14 years of my life, I have been living with him, loving with him and sharing with him. It hasn’t been until the past two, that I have actually been talking with him. I know, that’s a sad statement to make, but it’s the truth. In case you all don’t know the real me, I can be pretty uncommunicative in my life, I do as I want and take no advice. I have felt extremely confident in myself, with my children, with my life. I asked for no advice or input, because to not know what to do suggests weakness, and I could never afford to be weak. I felt there was never anyone to hold me up should I start to lean, and that was a luxury I couldn’t afford. So, once my children were raised and out of my home (at least they should have been out of the house) I began to relax just a little, as the job at hand was done. Then Mark and I began to work together, and we were literally spending 24/7 in the company of one another. I have always known him of course, but I found that I really liked him, really admired his abilities to stay unruffled and on an even keel, and it was a natural transition to open my mouth and start talking. It was like discovering gold when I realized that he did have opinions and ideas, and could be a support for me. We now listen to each other, we help each other, we TALK to each other. He can and does keep me sane, and that’s a huge, HUGE undertaking. He has learned the difference between me needing him to just hold me when I cry, or really wanting his input in what is happening at that time. His words really do make a difference to me, and I trust his judgment completely. He understands and feels my pain, or he laughs and wears my victories like they are his own. It has been a wonderful ride, discovering this about my own husband, after all this time. So, I say thank you to him, for loving and listening and still wanting to stay. :)

The second person on my list would be my own son, Craig, or OS as I have referred to him over the past years here. He is my own flesh and blood, a chip off the old block (so to speak) and wise beyond his years at the ripe old age of nearly 24. He has always been the child that cares, the child that is tuned in, the child that worries after me, and I think all of us mothers have one like that. However, in this past couple of years, he has turned into my friend. Even though I am sure that at times he has no earthly idea of what I am talking about when I ramble on and cry, he is always the first one with a hug or a reassurance. But often, he really does get it, and has very helpful advice and suggestions. He is honest with me but always diplomatic – and that can be a hard combination to manage. He is ever, EVER mindful of my feelings, as he would never want to hurt me, even when I ask him to tell me the truth. I understand that drive that pushes him on, and seriously, he understands that he got that from me. It does make for a good relationship when so much of US are the same. So, I thank you too Craig. And you know I love you. :)

And the third Unsung Hero in my life would have to be my older sister – Travis. Or Trav, to me. Yes, I know her name is unusual, hell so is mine---do you think our mother wanted boys? She and I grew up in a life filled with uncertainty and doubt, and that created a bond that cannot be torn apart. We used to be afraid together, we used to be happy together, we used to try to make the best of some situations that were at best, impossible. But since we have become adults, and I mean literally all my life, she has been there for me. We are not exactly alike, we never have been. But she has never made me feel wrong; she has never made me feel like the freak of the family, she has just never made me feel bad. After I talk to her, no matter what the problem is in my life, I always, ALWAYS feel better. Sometimes we cry a lot, sometimes we bitch and moan, but we always laugh. She is not quiet and meek, and you all know that doesn’t describe me either, but we don’t disagree, we always understand. She has always been someone I am proud of, a person that I have always known I should be more like. I am so proud of her-her character-her loving relationship with God-just her. I seriously say that without her in my life, I don’t think I would be where I am today. Both of us have managed to overcome many things – but somehow, she overcame better. And to you, my wonderful sister, I thank you, for just being you.

Okay, enough for sad, serious and sappy. I have no internet connection this morning, and I have no idea why. I am actually writing this in Word, hoping that I can post it sometime this morning. So, if it looks a little different, that is why. And good heavens, do I ever make a ton of grammar mistakes! I also want to add that there are many, many other people in my life that matter to me, and many I talk to…that help. My two other kids and I are close and I talk to the both of them, and I find as they age, they also are a good source of support. I also have a new bestest friend that I can say anything in the world to, and she understands. I just wanted to tell these three so-very-important-people in my life that I am grateful for all the years they have been there for me; I know I am a pain in your ass, and I am lucky to have you. :)

I hope that you all have a great day today; it’s Thursday, isn’t it? Ahh..a 12 hour day for me. But recently, they all are. I am still stuck in work hell, not getting where I need to be fast enough. Wish me a better, more productive day today, okay? Later.


SOUL: said...

i am touched. really. i might just cry. nothin like spreadin the love-- speakin of which-- where IS your spreadin the love award? hmmm? did i miss it? or are you slackin?

i know you are overwhelmed right now-- i also know that the fact that it will slow down soon is even overwhelming-- but i think that is something that you will adapt to.

you obviously have a lot of people that you have some catching up to do with (catching up with to do???)

anyhow--- i hope you have a GOD day :))


Gypsy said...

I'm so glad you have such wise and empathetic people in your life and that one of them is your husband is icing on the cake. You do deserve to have people care for you once in a while Jamie.

Hope you have a very productive and enjoyable day at work :)

PS I forgot to tell you that I have something over at my blog for you.

Mary said...

What a wonderful post. We often forget to recognize and thank the people who are so important in our lives. You are an inspiration to me to follow your example. You are blessed to have these people as, I'm sure, they feel blessed to have you. Love and understanding can make the most untenable situations bearable.

Cheryl said...

I'm wishing you the kind of day you want and need.

What a wonderful post. Wonderful tribute to these people that mean so much to you. You are truly fortunate to have them in your life.

Terri said...

what a beautiful post!

fiwa said...

What a great post - you are so lucky to have three people like that in your life, and it's great that you know and appreciate them for what they are.

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom - I hope her surgery goes well when she's back on her feet enough to go through with it.

trav said...

Jam-You will ALWAYS be my little
sister & my friend-you are right-
"bond" that can NEVER be broken. I
will always be here for you as you
are for me. I am so glad we have
each other - I do love you so so
very much. How special I feel
today!!!! Trav

Brad said...

Thanks Dear, for the reminder - I think I need to reach out to my Hero's and let them know what I think of them. (BTW - Hero is Partner's nickname) sending good thoughts your way.

Portia said...

First off, here's to a better and productive day today;)

This is an awesome post, and I'm glad that you have each of these people in your life to support you in these ways. The fact that you have raised children that have become an integral part of your support system just shows what a great mom you are!

Golden To Silver Val said...

I think its because you're a seems like we always take on the worries of others and are there for them. Sometimes I get so tired of being the 'oak tree'...I am so glad that you have emotional support like this....its so important to have that. This is a lovely post and I know that you've made several people feel very special. Sending some big hugs your way Jamie. Charlotte

Kelly Jene said...

Jamie, that is truly beautiful. You are a wonderful woman. You deserve each of those people in your life who love you. My oldest son is the one who worries for me, so I understand.

Gifts from God, all of 'em. Including you!

SOUL: said...

just so ya know--
not only does my hubby have a girl name-- one of his brothers does too--
isn't that weird?
shelby is the other one.
the lucky one is scott :))

byw-- y'alls names are kinda cool.

oh== and somethin i never told you-- and never really planned to, but will anyhow-- for whatever reason-- i'm not a hater-- but if i did ever really "hate " anyone...
he was my 1st class (my boss) in my last squadron in the navy-- his name was Jamie w. --- i hated him .. really. i hated him so much i had dreams of doing bodily harm to him. but of course i never did. i think karma took care of that for me.
anyhow-- the man was evil. really. cruel.
so. now that you know that-- i'm sure you can live a much more peaceful life . :))

where DO i come up with this stuff???