So this is it. The last day of an era in my workplace. The workplace will go on, but the names and faces will change now; and ultimately, someone else will lay awake like I just have, making lists and trying to remember all the details to be dealt with. The idea of that is hugely sad to me, but I am smart enough to know that this is the way things are meant to work, change is the only way that God can follow through with his promises. I am ready for my own life to be different, so I realize for that to happen, I am required to act. And so I am. I will still be employed there tomorrow, but I will be working for someone else, someone that I don't know but already don't respect. The days that I will be there from now on will extremely numbered, and I think I am ready. Scared, but ready. Worried, but ready. Petrified, but ready.
When I fell the other night, I do believe I broke my butt. Yes, I ALREADY know it's cracked. teehee I have been limping and hobbling around, and it hurts like a you-know-what. But I don't think I did any damage to the important things---my neck seems to be no worse than before, and my lower back may have some damage, but it's minor, at least for now. I have a bruise the size of a grapefruit on my upper ass...and it's extremely appealing..or so I have been told, because one of the side effects of having the recent neck surgery that I had is that one cannot turn their head far enough to see one's own ass in the mirror. I see that as a benefit, I have never been that proud of my skinny backside, and I do believe that if my rear were not so skinny, I may not have hurt myself at all. But it certainly was a complication that I didn't need right now, it has made all that I have to do that much worse. When I got home last night, the pain in my body was times ten - I had spent the day moving things out of my office, being physical, and it was the second day after the fall (and I have always thought that the second day after any trauma to the body is the worst), so by six pm, I could no longer take the pain, and I had to come home. I was very grateful for the pain medication that I have, I tripled my normal, nothing dose and managed. This morning, I am not feeling good, but waaaay better than last night.
Today will be a hard day. We are having a lunch - pizza and cake- for all the current and past employees. I have tons and tons of work to accomplish, but I am much, much closer than I thought I would be, and I no longer think I will have to be there until midnight. And that will be okay with me. I think I have put in about 70 hours each the past two weeks, and I am tired. Poor Mark has had to do the same, I swear, I don't know what I would do without him. Beginning tomorrow, it is time for the both of us to put most of our effort into finding work elsewhere, and please pray for us that it won't be difficult. There is no reason on earth that we should have trouble finding something adequate to take care of us, although it sure sounds easy, but often that is not the case.
I talked with my mom last night, and she is feeling better. She decided to tell me that when she saw the internist the day that her surgery was cancelled, he told her that her oxygen level was so low that he honestly believed that she would have slipped into a coma and died had she not gone to the hospital. That scared the hell out of me, and I curse the medical community for not knowing what was happening with her. On the other hand, had she not gone to have the surgery done, she may not be here today. One thing I have got to do in the next days is get over to see her, to spend some real time with her, and I will. New boss be damned, or even if it DOES harelip the Governor. One thing I can tell you is this: I will not get myself into another position that consumes me and expects me to save it. I hope I have learned my lesson---and even though I will not have a job soon, it is time to open the ICS, and that in itself will be enough to keep me crazy. As if I need a reason to be crazy...
I feel I have neglected all of you - and I will be getting over to visit in the next couple of days. I have missed reading all of your posts, but I will get caught up. Don't give up on me yet!
Have an awesome Friday. :)