Monday, January 21, 2008

I'm Fat Albert

Hey-hey-hey- another day. Monday again, where does the time go? Good heavens, for a second there, I sounded like Fat Albert, and certainly more jovial than I am feeling. It was not a good night, I have H's cold, sleeping was not easy. At one point, I woke myself up-sneezing!

I am not working at the garage today, actually-this is supposed to be my day off. But I have a few things I'm going to get finished, and I really don't feel all that good, so I might as well sit here and work. This is not exactly what I had wanted to do today, however. I haven't been to my mom's house in forever, and I still may try and go but I suspect that when she hears my voice she will not want me there - I sound awful. I wouldn't want anyone to visit me in this shape either. She is not well in the first place, and is having a bone scan today to search for cancer, so she doesn't need the added issue of a cold or whatever the hell I have brewing. I am quite worried about my mother-she has been so sick for so long, but this time it seems like really something bad. Her pain is intolerable, and it cannot be made better with any kind of drug. She is miserably unhappy and uncomfortable every second of the day. She had been for weeks and weeks, but the dr's cannot find any reason, other than the obvious, already known reasons, which wouldn't and never have caused this kind of pain. I feel so bad for her, she cannot think of anything other than herself and her pain, and that is no kind of life. I try to stay as close to her as I can, but she really doesn't want to talk to anyone or see anyone, she just wants to sleep. It really worries me.

D has been here all weekend, she and her boyfriend have broken up again. I really don't know what will happen with the two of them, but my heart hurts for her and that baby, and I am about ready to go kick him squarely in the ass. He has apparently never been taught anything of any importance and I think a good lesson from me just might do the trick. I have just about had it with him and his bullshit, and I only hope her crying and carrying on is due to hormones and such because at some point her "mother" gene has to kick in, doesn't it? I realize that she is left is quite a position but come on - at what point does our pride and sense of "screw you" take over? He will be the loser, certainly not her - she has absolutely everything on the ball, and I wondering where on earth his ball actually is...

And how are things in your world? Would any of you like to trade lives for a week or two like on that horrible reality show? Wouldn't that be a hoot? I could give you a crabby, coughy, snotty sick husband, a daughter with a broken heart, no job and a baby on the way, a very ill mother, an unemployed son that needs a job yesterday, a job that will make you lose your mind and oh yeah, a cold....what could you all bring to me?

16 comments:

JYankee said...

gosh... could it be that i am first? i could give you that... and maybe warmer weather...and coffee bean all wrapped up to go... wanna babysit for a day??? like you need more things to look after right??? LOL... hey..it's still January..things suck until about March i believe...

Summer said...

You poor baby. The grass isn't any greener around here. Chin up. I don't want any snot on the keyboard I'll be using after we swap lives. Haha.

Oldy said...

I would LOVE to go on that show.lol

I tried to talk Soul into going on it but she refused.

I could bring you an annoying anal retentive husband and a pig sty that just never seems to get any better.
Never ending laundry,cats in your face at the crack of dawn and a broken vaccume cleaner.
But the coffee's great and there's no snow :)

Maria said...

I was talking to a friend of mine last week who is a big believer in that we all "map out" our lives ahead of time on the other side, right down to illnesses, hard times, etc.

I told her that I didn't know if I bought into that sort of thing because basically I am a total wimp and would never choose any hardships. I would have gone the Paris Hilton route.

So...you must be like...what? Gandhi???

Amanda said...

((((((((((Jamie))))))))))

I'm so sorry about your mother Jamie. Was in a similar situation last year when my mother was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer. It's a terrifying place to be. I hope and pray she will be ok.

As for D. Oh boy, that sounds familiar. :( Big hugs to you girl!

Mary said...

If I could I'd change with you for a week - but only after the colds are gone. You'd come home to find: 1) Your house in disaray. 2) D's hormones calmed down and maybe mad because I kicked the boyfriend into the middle of next week. 3) Hubby asking what the hell happened around here? And saying, "I want my Jamie back NOW!" 4) A son who understands that no job equals chores here at home in return for financial help. 5) Everyone understanding that any temper tantrum will result in wild response. And, last but not least, the kitties happily curled in a corner. You'd probably find things a lot more laid back - and certainly warmer - here. You would also have confirmation that the grass really ain't greener. (This is a feeble attempt to make you smile.)

Now that I've written a book in your space, I'll just say that I hope your day goes smoothly and I pray that your mom will get medical and pain-free answers.

Foster Communications said...

Oh I'm sure you can think of a place to put his ball! A real good place!

I hope your week can improve. Hopefully your mom gets some answers and starts to feel better and more positive soon.

I'd trade with you but then you'd be back in a cervical collar....

Dave said...

Hang in there Jamie. To have a parent in so much pain... I hope that things work out for her and you. Somehow I know you will find the strength needed to get through all of this. Take care.

Raine said...

The mom thing-thats scary. Daughter thing. I'm pretty much there. You could have the job of down sizing my house to fit into an apartment pretty much all by myself right after a major trauma.... I'm thinking you wouldnt really want to trade. But I hope mom is ok and daughter figures it out and H gets better and so do you

The Real Mother Hen said...

I don't want to trade places with you, because you are the ever caring and understanding mother they love, respect and turn to. I, on the other hand, will make them scream and run away as fast as they can.

I wish, however, I'm there to cook for you though.

Summer said...

Is our girl doing ok tonight?

Gypsy said...

Hi Jamie, If we were to swap lives for a week you would get some hot weather (sometimes unbearably so), two teenagers who are bored out of their minds from being on holidays for 6 weeks and are therefore argumentative and snarky, a mountainous pile of bills that got bigger yesterday after the plumber called and a house that needs some serious TLC. No....your life is definitely worse at this point but it won't always be. Just keep your head down and try to avoid the blows that keep raining down.

Hope everything works out ok for D and that your mum gets some answers soon. Your family are really taking a pummelling right now - I'm so sorry Jamie.

Cheryl said...

I'd like you trade places with someone living the life in Hawaii for a week. No pain, plenty of tropical drinks, palm trees and beautiful water. Serenity. No worries. That's what I wish for you.

abbagirl74 said...

Yes! Let's trade! How about working at the most ungratifying job known to man, having to babysit a bunch of managers (mostly grown men), asking for the simplest task to get done without anyone complying, working 10-12 hours every day around customers in a grocery store and having to deal with their crankiness because they too are working ungratifying jobs and not getting the simplest of tasks done. Whew! Well, how about it?

Oh, wait. You already do that. And you're AMAZING at it. Love ya girl!

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CRUSTYBEEF said...

I'm so sorry about your mom, I hate to know when people carry on like this in pain. I wish for relief for her, in any fashion, and in any way of spiritual hope!

D, oh gosh, I WISH I knew her!
When pregnant with Jackson, our first, Bigdogg left-moved to florida.- We had broken up, and I didn't want to be the one to "force him" to stay "Just because of a baby" i wanted him to want me, and figured if he only was going to stay because of the baby, it would be for the wrong reasons. SURE, he SHOULDn'T Have left me alone, he could've been there to drive me to the appts, or had some involvement when I was pregnant..but I wasn't going to be the one that demanded an action out of him (although I prayed so often that his mom would say, GROW UP, stay in Illinois, and face your responsibility-she didn't, she actually had talked to him about talking to me about having an abort.) I told him to make his decisions, figuring that I would manage somehow and he'd someday have to live with his actions...sure it was difficult. I lived alone. I cried ALOT! I worked three jobs-one at a cocktail/bar up until 3months before I delivered-I didn't show until about that time with my first-but my moods ...
I can still recall laying on the floor, playing the same song (HUNTER FROM DIDO) over and over again, so alone. My friends were helpful, but they continued with their single life. I was stuck in this place in between. I would work, come home, and wrap myself around my cat...I didn't have much at that time, and I was too stubborn to accept $ from my parents, as I figured I'd need it more when the baby came.
Looking back I still don't know how I got through it before the baby came, but I did. And the labor and awful worry that came with my labor did something to me, it punched my heart into every part of my body, and I didn't give a shit about whether he wanted to be there or not (he had flown up for the delivery) I knew when I saw them pull my son out during the csection, that it was all that mattered. Somehow it switched the moment I saw my son. For some it happens when the first kick is felt within, and yes that meant a GREAT Deal to me, but it didn't soothe my own emotional rollarcoaster.
Obviously you know how my story ended up...we worked it out-he realized he needed me, he loved me...and after a period of how will I know,can I trust, I allowed him back within my heart. From what you've written, D is a very strong woman. She will figure out a way. She will cry in the mean time, she will grow scared...it's frustrating because we look forward to this part of our life all our life, and then something like the boyfriend being an ass messes with our dream from our childhood. It's frustrating to have to readapt our dream, and make it our own. I did alot of self help reading at that time, and it was then that I discovered the book, WHO MOVED MY CHEESE.

My prayers are for you guys.
The boyfriend, I'm sorry for, because he will be left with regret someday, whether he comes back, shows up, or says it, no matter what he will have that over his head, and for D, she'll always be the parent that was there.
My love goes to you and your family!
Sincerely,
Elizabeth
sorry for the ramble on.