Monday, December 10, 2007

Just like Arnold...I'll be back

Pink Floyd, "The Wall". I HATE that song. Why, when it is MY stereo, in MY damned head, would music that I HATE be playing? But, that's what it was. :(

I think that H sits at this computer at night and eats, because there is frequently some kind of food on the screen in the morning. Have I ever mentioned that H is kind of messy?

Can we all tell that I may just be in a bit of a bad mood this morning?

Yesterday turned out to be the kind of day I needed. Nothing. Quiet, no activity, a long nap for me. I was in a lot of pain, and I took a lot of medication. It is rare when I can take what I need for the pain, and when I do, it knocks me out. I believe I slept maybe six hours of the day away, and when I wasn't sleeping, I think I was eating. That is always good for my size 6 jeans goal, but I am not far from it now, and food hasn't really been too important to me recently, eating has been put on the back burner for several weeks. I think I have now lost fifteen of the 20 stupid medication pounds, so I am almost back to where I was...and almost back into my jeans. I really haven't tried that either, recently. My clothes have not been top priority since I am in that chair, and dressing while having to use it is really different. I had never thought about it before, but when you are sitting all the time, it does change how and what you wear. Also, my sleeves are always dirty from the wheelchair, since I go into the back -- the garage part of the dealership so much, that the wheels on my chair are dirty, and my long sleeves always dangle on the wheels, so I only wear dark colored, long sleeved shirts. And my shoes are more prominent, they sort of stick right up there, where God and everyone can see them all the time, so it has changed everything about dressing...but I ramble....and all I was beginning to say was that I ate taco pizza yesterday, and then I ate brownies. Something I would normally not eat-ever. But I decided what the hell, it will probably be a while before I want to eat much of anything, and who really cares about being bad for one day? So, that was my Sunday.

I am not sure what will happen tomorrow, and I know that many of you are wanting to know. I will hear from the hospital today about the time for my surgery. The Dr's office told me a month ago that it will most likely be scheduled early, around seven am, but that would ultimately depend on emergencies and the like, so the hospital will let me know the day before, but to plan on having to be there around five or six in the morning on the day of the surgery. I am to plan on being there overnight, but if anything unforeseen comes up, it will be longer. (I am praying so hard that is not the case, I HATE, HATE, HATE being in hospitals.) The procedure is kind of yucky sounding, at least to me, as they are going to remove a couple of discs in my neck, replace them with donated bone, then plate and screw all of that in place. In doing that, they will release the spinal cord that is being smashed, and hope that over time, that will allow me to regain the strength in my legs to walk again. The problem with that is that I have been unable to walk for so long, the chances are not good. It will most certainly fix the weakness in my arms as that is a new problem and also the weakness in my hands. As far as the pain I have, it should take care of the pain I have in my arms and hands, and the burning, searing pain I have in my feet. Most of the other pain I have in my legs comes from disc pain in my lower back, and that will still be there after this surgery. I will have to have another surgery on my lower back to fix that to get rid of the majority of the leg pain and all the back pain that I have. I will have to see about that, the idea of another surgery right now is pretty unappealing. The recovery time at home should be a week or two, and that's all I know. I will most likely have to wear a neck brace for some time. Since they are going to do the procedure through the FRONT of my neck, I will most likely have issues with my voice for quite some time, and from what I have read, maybe forever. Also, my throat will most likely hurt and swallowing is an issue for quite a while. Because there is an artery in the way, stroke is the number one risk from what I have read, as they have to move it and keep it out of the way to get to where they are going. All in all though, the risks are minimal, and the hope of walking certainly is worth the risk.

Because I don't know when I have to leave for this procedure, I don't know if I will post again before. I have about a month's worth of work to finish today at the dealership, and we all know I can do that, right? I am hoping it will be the first thing tomorrow, the sooner, the better. I do know that another ice storm is expected tonight, and this one is the kind that could cause the power outages and all that good crap, which is just what we need right now, so there may be the chance of going up tonight and staying in a motel. If you all don't hear from me again for a few days, then you will know why. D will post tomorrow, after it's over and let you know that things are fine. Don't worry about me, they do this shit every day. Just not to me.... :)

Take care, I will see you all soon. I love each of you, you know.

29 comments:

Summer said...

December 11th snuck up on us didn't it? I'll be thinking about you. A friend of mine just had this surgery done a few weeks ago and she's doing very well.

Love you too girlie. Don't worry.

JYankee said...

we're praying for ya! come back soon Jamie!!!!!

Gypsy said...

I can feel the fear in your words Jamie and I so want to hug you and tell you everything will be ok. Any improvement on your current situation will be a start on getting the old Jamie back and that's what we're all praying for.

Love you and you will be in my thoughts every minute until we hear something from your end. Bless you and thankyou for your comments on my blog. Even when you are scared to death you are one of the most thoughtful people I know.

Cheryl said...

I know 3 people who have had this surgery and they are all just fine. So, I am praying for you, and can't wait to hear how you're doing. You'll be so glad that it's over.

SOUL: said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
simonsays said...

You know guys, I must be giving you all the wrong impression. I am freaked out, but I always am before any kind of surgery. I am not however, scared out of my mind or anything. And it upsets me that you all think i am. The only reason I told you about all of this was that i have received emails from several of you asking what and how they are doing it, and also how long I will be in the hospital, and about the recovery. I'm sorry, I should not have said as much as I have.

Also, I am not afraid of any major complications such as dying, but give me a break, I can't do anything simple like have a baby without complications, so yes, I don't like being in the hospital. If you think I am over dramatizing I do apologize. :)

SOUL: said...

hey there girl...
slow down.
we are just worried...only cuz we care.
k?
you aren't over dramatizing any bit of this.
ok?
really.
we appreciate the update..and we are with you in this. k
take care.
ox

Portia said...

I will be sending you all kinds of *extra* love and healing vibes and positive prayers over the next few days!!

Portia said...

p.s. i always wondered that too...how could a song i HATE just pop in my head and stay there for hours? weird huh.

Mary said...

Jamie, The next few days won't be the most pleasant time but we are all praying that they will be the beginning of a pain free, happy time for you. I, too, wish I were there to hug you and hold your hand. I wish I had words to convey what I want to say but "I'll be praying for you and picturing you smiling and dancing in your size 6 jeans."

After two years on steriods I'll never see size 6 jeans in my closet again.

SOUL: said...

hey---
i know how to change this tune....

HOW MUCH IS THAT DOGGY IN THE WINDOOOWWWW
ARF ARF ARF
ox

SOUL: said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ac said...

Good luck tomorrow. I'll be thinking about you.

Josie Two Shoes said...

Hi Jamie! I definitely didn't think you were over dramatizing the situation, this IS serious stuff! I would worry more about you if you weren't just a little scared. I think anyone facing major surgery is, or should be. I'm glad you gave us the details because I really wanted to know what they were going to try to do and what the hopes were for this operation. You know that my thoughts and prayers will be with you now, tomorrow, and thru recovery. Come back to us soon, we are going to miss you so much!

Dave said...

All the best with you surgery Jamie! Things tend to often come out better than expected since we often think the worst. Take care and recovery quickly but don't rush recovery.

Take care! :-)

Golden To Silver Val said...

You're in my prayers for sure. May 10,000 angels circle around you and guide the doctor's skillful hands. Have a speedy recovery. Talk to you soon....and its gonna be A-ok!! God said so. Hugs.

Andrew said...

Thinking of you. I will be on pins and needles until I hear how you fared. I hoping for awesome news about being painless and a quick recovery. I wish there was something I could more tangibly do for you, but this comment will let you know I am thinking of you.

Maria said...

Fingers crossed...very, very tightly.

CRUSTYBEEF said...

GOd Bless you dear!!
And try not to think of the symptoms, but rather the good outcome!! You will have a strong support silently willing you to do well, as well as those that will be with you!
YOu'll be in my thoughts!!
Damn pink floyd THE WALL! I detest that song due to childhood ridicule. Go figure.

Many good thoughts for yoU!!!
Always,
Crusty~

CRUSTYBEEF said...

You are not being dramatic..you are expressing fears to us..and you are so sweet like Andrew to apologize but for what? For being honest? I think that's pretty damn awesome!!
Hope Crazy dog holds up while you're off getting naked for some docs. :) {{{{chuckles!!}}}}
Always,
Crusty~

desert dirt diva said...

Hope all goes well .. will be watching for your next post.. surgery is always scary....but it sounds as if all goes well it will be good... so good luck....o.k. hope that does not sound heartless....till ur next post...hmm will your under i wonder what kinds of songs will be running threw your head...let us know what ya wake up to :)

Raine said...

well I just found your blog after reading a couple of your kind comments on mine. I will be wish you a very successful easy surgery and I will be looking forward to getting to know you better via blog.

Gypsy said...

No way did I think you were over dramatising the situation Jamie and I'm very glad you shared the details with us. That's what friends are for, to be there in good times and bad. If anything, I think you may have underplayed the op. By now you should have been operated on and hopefully you are sleeping peacefully with a lot less pain or soon will be anyway.

Looking forward to having you back as good as gold.

Josie Two Shoes said...

Tuesday morning... praying hard for you. Sure hope you didn't have to play "slip n' slide" on the roads on the way to the hospital. Will be eagerly awaiting a post from your daughter. Our thoughts and love surround you!

Andrew said...

Today is the big day. I remember my shoulder surgery well. I was out like a light, woke up feeling groggy, but better. I am thinking of you today. I am not a very religious man, but I said a prayer for you. Godspeed on your recovery and I hope a new life awaits.

Amanda said...

How does he do that? I eat in front of the computer sometimes too and yes some of it does land on the keyboard but never on the screen...Maybe he needs glasses?

((((((((((((Jamie)))))))))))

Praying hard that everything goes well for you. Can't wait to hear the good news.

Portia said...

Just wanted to say I'm thinking about you. I like how Josie put it, you are indeed surrounded by our love!

CCC said...

praying for you girl. every night. please ck in when you can. i miss you already!!

CRUSTYBEEF said...

Thoughts are with you dear Jamie...And I just know that your doc will prove the saying that everyone thinks that You will be fixed. :)

Always,
Crusty~