Monday, October 01, 2007


It is so wonderful to hobble to my computer this afternoon and find that i have had several stop by and read what I have to say. Particularly on a day as bad as this one has been. I have even had a couple of new folks stop in, isn't our blogging circle a wonderful thing? Some days, it seems to be the only thing that can make me smile. Today is one of those days. I have been home, on my sofa all day long. I can now put a little weight on my leg, but i have the worst shooting pains in the upper front of my thigh when i do, they take my breath. Yes, I really do know that the dr's have to figure out what the problem is, but i promise you that if i saw one today, they would still know nothing. I have been down this road repeatedly over the years, and I know the routine. I am beginning to think that perhaps there is a bad disc or two in my back, although the pain is altogether different than the last time. At least if that is the case, it can (hopefully) be fixed. Otherwise, I am seriously beginning to think that there is no way I can carry on with my regular life. The only other time that the pain became THIS bad that was the problem. And it was diagnosed on a Thursday, I was in surgery on a Friday, and back to work on Monday. Seriously. Of course, I was only thirty-four at the time and in perfect physical shape, but it was easy. Painful, but easy. I am now praying for such a fix.

I have laid all day worrying about my job---no, i really don't believe I will be fired, first of all, no one on this planet would want to do all that i have to do every day. But I am really getting behind, and I know of no one that can be of any help. By the time i try and explain WHAT to do, i can do it myself. I am not pulling my weight, and I know that owner must be getting tired of it. I know I would be, I know what it's like to have an employee that isn't doing what needs done. And I don't operate that way. But, right now, all I can do is what i am doing.

I am looking forward to a better and more mobile tomorrow. It has to be. Thanks to all of you for listening. Out.


Josie Two Shoes said...

Dearest Jamie, My heart is right there with you. I can only imagine dealing with the pain, the wondering, and the damn stress of the job besides. And yes, I do know that feeling of being so far behind and that you are the only person that can do it. They would be insane to fire you, of course, no one could fill your shoes. Surely your boss knows you well enough to know that you wouldn't be home if you could crawl there. How I wish that I could come and help in the office, but I doubt I would be much help. Right now though, you have to focus on you, please hang tight. I am praying for you every waking hour, there will be an answer, trust in that. God still is in control!

SOUL: said...

you are my hero .

try not to worry tonight about what tomorrow may or may not bring.

i bet you will be least "ok" in the morning. and will be able to get some work done. you just need to do it sitting down. make someone bring crap to you. :)

maybe i need to make a trip to the corn fields and lend a hand..we could hobble around and get the stuff done together???
i come pretty cheap.. one bad back & one bad leg = one equal pay???
take care of yourself.

CCC said...

I wish we could get rid of your back pain and restore your health. Such a lovely lady deserves energy and vitality. I hope they get to the bottom of this ailment once and for all.

Also, I enjoyed getting to know you a little better in your interview. Scorpios looove pisces!

Gypsy said...

Hello my new Pisces friend. Sorry to hear that things aren't much better on the pain front. The best thing you can do for you and your work is to rest and get better. Once that is done the rest will fall into place. Sending good thoughts your way.

JYankee said...

yes i hope you are better and they will NOT fire you... they would be shooting themselves in the foot if they would go so far as to do that...

SOUL: said...

pssssst, you up?
i am. cuz my dogs are mental.
hope you feel much better this morning.
let me know?

SOUL: said...

i "updated " my tuesday post.
waitin for yours.
how are you?

Amanda said...

I can relate to what you're saying, on a slightly different venue, and I can imagine you are able to endure a great deal more than other people, as long as you feel you are in control of your reactions, physical and mental.

Portia said...

surely your boss must know you well enough to know that sitting at home in pain doesn't jive with your work ethic. like you said, the best you can do is all you can do. your body seems to be demanding that you put yourself first, at least for right now, so try not to feel bad about it.