I know this is Friday, but i have to admit, it doesn't feel like it. I went through the whole day yesterday thinking it was Monday, maybe I really am losing it.
I ended up coming home early yesterday, at four, I couldn't make it any further, I was barely able to walk and in terrible pain, I am praying that this is only a temporary setback, from being on my feet for days in the service department, and having to do so in the extreme heat, because if it is anything else, I don't know what I'll do. Time will tell, I suppose. I am not great this morning, but I never am at this hour. Hopefully today, I will be okay. I have so much of my own work that is so behind, and I have not been able to get anywhere near it...I will have to work all weekend at this rate. But, that is nothing unusual, and I will if I have to. :)
It's funny what this blog has done for me---I feel like I have gotten to know so many people that I would never have had the opportunity to meet, if it weren't for this. Those that I actually know in real life rarely, if ever, bother to read what i have to say, and so many of you come by here to see how I am, it is truly surprising. It is also surprising that what I do have to say is anything but truly boring, mundane, normal life crap. And yet, I follow so many others, that have the same mundane, day to day things. Maybe we are all looking to see if our own lives are like everyone else's? Maybe we are looking to see that they aren't? I really don't know. But I find myself wondering how my blogging friends days are going, and if something is going on in their lives, I wonder how that is turning out....it's just funny. I am NOT a social person in my real life. I have told all of you that I have little time or use for most people, and that comes from so many turning out NOT to be what I thought they were. What I am trying to say is thank you. You each give me a new perspective on everything, something to think about, and always, always a smile or laugh. And that is wonderful. :)
I did the brain test yesterday---I was at work, and really had no time to post it but I was purple. I expected to be blue, and now i have forgotten what purple meant....but I wasn't too sure that i really was the way the test said I was...now I have to try the intelligence test, but I am afraid I will find out I am not intelligent... "So sorry....you are a complete idiot, void of any intelligence of any kind...perhaps you should find out what kind of mushroom you are"? Is that one of the results of this intelligence test? I shall have to find out.....
I should get my day going, I am a little late, as usual. I didn't even get to visit all my blogs this morning, but i will....I HAVE to know the details. I hope each of you have a great Friday, or Tuesday or whatever the hell day this is. Out. :)
16 comments:
Aren't we all looking at each other's blogs for the same reasons???...wondering how others might spend their day...if they have the same kind of problems...I am the same.. since I started blogging (and it's only RECENTLY, mind you) but the bloggers I interact with have expanded more than I could've ever dreamed of! It's thanks to bloggers like you and others....
it's funny you would mention the bloger pals we find out there in cyber space... vs the real world "people". i feel so much the same way. in fact, i think on page one of my blog i in fact stated... walk with me, or away from me, i don't care.
trust issues much? hell yes! i haven't had a real life friend... in the true sense of the word... in years. like you said... they just don't turn out like you think they will. perhaps that is why we aren't supposed to place expectations on people...we are all only human of course. but i will admit, my expectations are LOW.
i expect... loyalty... time, understanding... just that type of stuff. i don't want much from people. honesty. of course. and shit... if ya don't know what to say... just tell me that... don;t ignore me in a time of crises... don't make me feel I"VE done or said something out of line...when it's YOU who are in a situation you can't handle. (not yOU) you know what i mean.
but really. the times that have ran me into my mole hole, and away from people and the desire to befriend them... were times of terrible heartbreak, and emotional need. all i needed was a friend to just be their, and be willing. but when my babies died.. six years apart... several different sets of friends and circumstances... they ALL scattered like roaches. friendships that i thought would last forever ended when i needed my friends the most. when i lost my second son in 1996... that was it... my wall, had never been taller, or stronger. i never let anyone else all the way in. walk with me or walk away.
online friends are safer. i will admit... i am growing pretty to a few of you, and i think you know who you are. and it scares the crap out of me. i may never even meet y'all in real life.. but it's scary to care about people again. and to see that they (y'all) actually do seem to care what happens to me every day when i see that you've come to or commented on my blog.
but always... it makes me smile, and it it gives me reason to smile, and to think, and to care about others.
before the blog thing.. for years... my entire world was my family and my animals... and the fear of God what if something happens to "someone else". very depressing. very depressed, and very resentful.
thanks Jamie for reminding me... that i can still be a friend...and have friends... and care about people. and share my life and theirs...and i don't have to live in my shell of hell.
it means a lot to me to see that you come see me when you're barely awake each morning...and you always have something nice, understanding, or funny to say. and more so, that i care what you go through each day... your laughter, your pain, your struggles, and fears, etc.
that goes for all my blog pals.
i have a genuine concern about them, their families, lives, everything. and it really gets me out of myself.
and just look what it's done for me.. almost subtly.. or subliminally or whatever...
soulmange to soul survivor... just by getting involved in other peoples lives. it's very difficult to spend ten or eleven years in your own mind and unhealthy body...afraid of new people, or sharing your experiences with them.
so i'm with ya here.... thanks to those out there... who are honest enough to put their lives on these pages... and communicate with the rest of us, who put ours out there too.
did that crap make a bit of sense? i hope so cuz i don't have the patience to read it again.
maybe i shoulda just said ditto to yankee?
sometimes i just can't SHUT UP!
do they have a name for that?
have a great/ feel good day jamie
Soul, you are such a sweetheart, and a truly good friend to me, I know EXACTLY what you are saying---and I love you for it. Have a wonderful day!
jyankee-you are so right, and you always bring a new perspective to me, too!
Jamie, I so agree! Hope u are feeling better soon.
Sorry you aren't feeling great again. I know dealing with chronic pain and fatigue gets very old. Your courage and determination to carry on amazes me at times! I am like you Jamie, not social at all in the real world, for the very reason you noted - I always end up disappointed in the outcome. Yet, just like you, I've come to care very much for and about my blogging buddies here, and can't wait for new posts to appear to see how they are doing. We have become a great cheering committee for each other - it's wonderful and supportive. I am often amazed at how I can never find friends "like me" but can find them here, and even when we are very different, there still is compassion and tolerance. I love that! Blogging has opened up a whole new window for me, and has become my salvation as I go thru this transitional phase of my life. It is a pleasure to blog with you Jamie! I sure hope you don't have to work all weekend, that sucks!
Jamie,
I am the same way when it comes to blogs. I tend to think about what others are doing on particular days. Funny, isn't it? I was able to meet two fellow bloggers. Phelan (A Homesteading Neophyte) lives in my hometown of Wichita and Annabel (Story of My Life) is from Texas. She was in Wichita for a national debate tournament. It's really fun getting together with people you read about. The only weird thing is trying to remember everyone by their real name. lol...
i haven't been around long but have to agree. i feel so lucky to have found the blogs that i visit daily! it's cool to see how in some ways everybody's version of "mundane" is very different and in other ways we can totally relate :)
i hope today was easier on you and you don't have to work ALL weekend!!
jamie...
take a vacation and come fishin with me!!! i'll even bait yer hook ! :))
i MIGHT even watch nascar with you. (hiccup)LOL
alright, i'm back, my curiosity got the better of me... have you ever really tried to roller skate in a water melon patch? and if so, why the hell would you do that?
One of my coworkers asked me a few months ago if I was a loner or just unsociable. Both I said. I guess it comes from years, even as a child, of being judged by others. If you don't like me, it's ok, but don't act like you do and then say bad things about me. It's a trust issue. I don't feel I can trust myself to know who I can trust. I've made so many mistakes with people before. It's like WTF?
What's causing your pain?
Soul, I would love to fish with you, and yes, you would have to bait my hook. Even if it wasn't live bait. And then, if I caught anything, you would have to deal with that, too, because I always feel really sorry for the fish...but the nascar thing...now I could teach all that to you...wouldn't it be great if we could?
Summer, I don't know if I have pain, I probably did once, but now I have forgotten what it was...most people are just not worthy, and my time is valuable to me. I am always so amazed that those that seem to be so self assured here on their blogs are the ones that say they have issues of insecurity...you don't strike me that way at all, when I read what you write and I see your photo, I have a mental picture of a totally pulled together woman!
No, I have never roller skated in a watermelon patch, but I am sure that it isn't possible..
abbagirl, thanks so much for stopping by!
Portia, you are so right, everyone does have a different version of normal...
Thanks to all of you for commenting!
Josie, thanks for caring whether I have to work all weekend, I will have to work today, but that is normal, although I haven't worked a saturday for a couple of weeks, I am getting spoiled!
I don't need a test to know that you are an intelligent woman Jamie. It shines through your posts. I also find myself wondering if you're ok, so that makes two of us weirdos.
I'm so sorry to hear that you're in pain. I hope you'll have a good weekend anyway!
Jamie, we would make a great pair of fishing buddies for Soul... I don't touch live bait or live fish either, but I live reeling them in! ROFL :-) I could get into Nascar fairly easily, but what I'd really love to do just once is to drive a race car, flat open on the Bonneville Salt Flats. I'd like to know what it's like to give up my control issues and experience that kind of speed!
Hey, wasn't the original song, "You Can't Rollerskate in a Buffalo Herd"? Try that, Soul... just don't fall!! :-)
oh maaan watermelon patches, buffalo herds, roller skates...and US> what a riot!
even more so... the three of us fishing...with nascar recovery time.... come on!!!!
i'll tie the lines!
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