Monday, April 09, 2007

That's the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it...uh huh, uh huh.

I had the BEST day yesterday. The BEST. Both of my boys and GF were here all day, my dinner was good, we laughed all afternoon. I haven't spent that kind of time with my kids in years, they are always obligated somewhere else. We missed having D here, all of us said so. I am so happy that my sons have finally become friends, good friends, as they weren't always like that. Now, there is easy banter between them, and mutual respect. They understand their differences, it shows. And they ARE different. I am always amazed---their dad and I made all three of our kids. They were all raised in the same home, in the same way. And the differences between them are HUGE. HUGE. But wonderful. I am proud of the men that I have made, they are good hearted, level headed, humble human beings. They are both growing up-finally. I know they have a way to go, but i see signs of real growth. I am proud. They and D are the only things in my life that really matter. I may have not always been a good wife, I may have not always been a good daughter, I may have not always been a good employee. But I have always been a good mother. They have always been the reason that i have gotten up each morning, and they still are. It was a wonderful day, one that brought back good memories, you should have heard the tussle that took place in the upstairs hallway, screaming and yelling and carrying on, then one pushed or man-handled the other, then the "Mom, OS won't let me into the bathroom so I can shower....."Did that ever take me back. I laughed along with them, but wanted to cry....I so miss the days when my kids were all home, when they still all needed me,that was the best, even though I did not know it at the time. I am surprised that I am crying now, but it was such a good day. If any of you still have your kids at home with you, and you are wishing for the day that they will grow up and get on with it, just like I did, be careful what you wish for. One day they will.

But anyway, the SOPRANOS was mildly good. I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't what i was hoping for. I know it will get better, only eight more to go,according to H, and they have ALOT to tie up before the end.

Monday, uugggghh. Long, long Monday. Can't wait, but at least D will be there today and tomorrow. That will be nice. I'm out of here. Have a good day.

Update: Your kids can kind of make you feel like shit sometimes, you know? It's at these times that I want to cry. It's amazing how quickly they can manage to take you from feeling so good about things, to really, really lonely and bad. Damn, I hate these times.

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