Sunday, April 15, 2007


I have a house full of stuff-shit-junk-that has got to go. Now. I am so tired of all the STUFF stuffed into every available spot in my house. What is it? I have no idea. It's stuff. I asked H to please just rent a dumpster for a week or two. He doesn't want to do that-how can we just THROW all this stuff away? What the hell else are we supposed to do with it? He wants to have a sale. A garage sale. Have you ever had a garage sale? No friggen way. No way. It takes FOREVER to get that crap together, price it, display it, when it's all said and done, you are left with a garage full of unsalable shit, and about $112. My time or worth way more than that. I just want to pitch it. He says at the very least, give it away. To who? No one wants used stuff anymore. No one wants used clothes, kitchen items,furniture,exercise equipment, for example. No one. But I want it out of here. I would gladly donate it to anyone----but we have taken things to the second hand stores near here, and have been told that they had too much stuff already, and couldn't take any more donations at that time. I don't even know what alot of the stuff is, only that it multiplies like rabbits. Every time a kids moves away,comes back home,moves away again, more stuff is left here. I want to invoke a new rule: if it hasn't been used in the past twelve months, it has to go. H will never go for it, but I am going to try. I am being driven out of my own house by STUFF. Damn.

I cleaned my house late yesterday afternoon. I mean I really cleaned. It felt good, it looks good. But now I can't move---my legs are on fire. I knew this would happen, but I didn't think it would be this bad. I have to get better, at least for a while, I have nine people coming here for dinner today. I want to feel good so I can enjoy it. Plus, I have alot to do. It really makes me mad that I have to PAY for doing something that is sooooo required of a human being. But I won't go off on that tangent right now. I feel for you, reader. My whining can get old.I will save it for now. I will manage today, I always do.

One of the salespeople that works at the garage has a new grandson---born this past week. He is so beautiful. I cried when I saw his picture, I'm sure that the salesman thinks I am out of my mind. I don't know what happened, I just cried. I think I realized how badly I want a baby in my life right now. Not my own baby obviously, probably a grandchild. I may never have any of those, at least it seems that way at this time. YS will eventually have a child, I think, and this certainly isn't the time for it, but I just wanted it so badly at that moment yesterday. I know, it's stupid.I can barely speak of it at all to any of my kids, they get SO defensive. I don't mean it that way----I really don't. I just REALLY thought I would have one or more a long time ago. D says she will never have any, and perhaps she won't. I think we all believe that our kids will do the same as we did, and had she had children at the same age I did, I would have an eight year old grandchild now. I am not saying that is the way for her to do things, calm down D, but I really thought that is how it would be. Under the circumstances, I am happy she hasn't had children, as kids need both their parents, married and under the same roof, if possible. OS swears he never, ever, will have any, and i am starting to believe him. Maybe it isn't in any of their futures, and I find it hard to believe that it matters so much to me---and I know I sound so whiny, but I would be a wonderful grandma. I know I would. I also feel a need to caution myself, and remember that I need to be careful what I wish for. It could be that one of them will find themselves expecting a child, only to find out they are having triplets, or quadruplets(?). Wouldn't that be a hoot? I should probably get a dog and shut the hell up. I'm out.


Amanda said...

I hope you have a wonderful Sunday with your family!

Beth said...

awww..grandbabies. I have 2 and I love to death. I love to see 'em and I love to see 'em go home! ;)

I also have crap out the wazzooo and would like to have a garage sale but ya, it takes SO much work, and I'm always the one doing it. ugh.