Sunday, March 04, 2007

I'm mad as hell and I don't have time to go round and round and round

It's Sunday----again. Wasn't it just Sunday? No NASCAR today...other than the busch race from Mexico City. Just as well, I suppose, I have to go back to the big city today, to visit my mom. I am not looking forward to another long car ride, seems that's all I do lately. I think H is going to go with me, today. Whatever. Things have not improved on the home front, although my lack of discussion on that subject apparently makes those that read this think that they have. I don't know where we are, I don't know where we are going. Sometimes things seem okay, sometimes they don't; most of the time I just feel total ambivalence on the subject. Whatever. I need a break, I need a vacation, I need something. It is March, my birthday is looming, and this year will be no better than the last, getting older just sucks. I am not happy today, apparently. It was a long, painful (literally) night, and I can't see too well this morning. I HATE doctors, I hate not being well, I hate not being able to see correctly, and I really need to get back to the eye doctor, I must need new glasses. So that appointment, I need to keep, just as soon as i can set one up that I can actually get to, as the one scheduled for this Friday won't work, either. H was going to take me, but his helper at the store will be gone for the next few weeks for a medical problem, so I am back to square one. Wouldn't you think that getting to a frickin' eye appointment would be easier than this? I have rescheduled the frickin thing FIVE times now. I learned a long time ago, that depending on anyone else for any damned thing was a stupid thing to do. Obviously, I was right. In any event, this day is beginning badly. I am really hurting, and I don't want to to take the damned pills that have been prescribed. I haven't started them yet, they scare the hell out of me. I don't want to get back on the medication carousel, it's not a fun ride. I am afraid that I won't be able to get off this time. On the other hand, I go to these freakin' doctors for help, what the hell are they supposed to do? Shit. I will talk to you later.

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