Friday, February 16, 2007

Friday Morning Rambling

When I got up yesterday, all things felt normal, pain of course, but no different than any other day. By the time that tried to get up and get my day moving,I was crying with it. I don't know where it came from or what happened. I eventually took a couple of pain pills, and asked H to drive me to work, at least for a couple of hours. Then I came home and laid on the couch all day, I was mostly unable to walk, at least walk WELL, as I could hobble a little, but that is so embarrassing. I am not a pain baby, I can take so much you wouldn't even believe it. So what happened to me yesterday was quite significant, and scary. Something has got to give here. I am beginning to worry that I am going to end up unable to work, or even do for myself. I know I couldn't take THAT. I am supposed to see yet another doctor on the twenty seventh, but of course, he will have lots of tests to run and be of no help, either. I just want HELP. I want my regular life back (I started to say "normal" but that's pushing it too far), back when I would have trouble every few months, and just for a couple of days. I thought that was a real problem then, but all things are relative, and the worse they get the more I can apparently deal with. Alot of the time, I cannot feel my left foot, or the toes on my left foot. That can make walking really difficult, it could be a pinched nerve or something, couldn't it? But then, wouldn't I have the problem ALL the time? The muscles in the back of my legs feel too short, like they have shrunk in length, and makes stretching them out painful sometimes, and walking a problem sometimes. Other times, they seem okay, although I always have pain there. I get terrible muscle cramps in them, in the damnedest places, in the front, in the back of the upper thigh, the regular calf muscle, in my feet, and in my toes. Weird, right? So many strange problems, and I am becoming such a whiner, I just want it to stop. All of it. Now.

Today has got to be better, I am not good this morning, hopefully that will improve. I promised chili dogs to the employees for lunch today. H said he will take care of most of it, says he needs the practice for the upcoming opening of the business. He is being nice to me right now, and that pisses me off even more, I hate when people are nice only because I am sick. Treat me the same either way. Too tired to fight now, or too sick. I will hold it 'til later.

If I had to be sick yesterday, I picked a good day to do it, at least the speed channel was running good racing most of the day, although I slept through the second race, the pills knock me out. The Daytona 500 is Sunday, I am ready. Tony won the first one - stupid Gordon won the second. Can't help but wonder what the big whiner Waltrip was thinking, teehee. You got to love the drama.

This is Friday, shit. Where has the week gone? I (think) I am having dinner for a crowd tomorrow evening, I really don't know yet, and I don't know if I'll be up to doing all of it, either. I feel like I have lost a couple of days....damn. I have to get through today, first. Then I have to work tomorrow, and this house looks like holy hell, although it wouldn't take too much to make it day at a time right now.

I shall attempt to get myself going. Hope your Friday is good.

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