Sunday, February 18, 2007
An extra S
SUNDAY-SUNDAY-SUNDAY! The Daytona 500, finally. I obviously want Tony to win, it should be interesting. I am at a loss this morning, I have little going on upstairs, and really nothing of any importance to write this post about. I feel I have to write something, however, so those of you that have real lives should perhaps move on. YS and GF came down last night, finally, and we did have dinner together. It was a short evening, as they had plans. They were planning to sleep here, but after a conversation with YS at four this morning, I determined that he did not, in fact, plan to sleep at all, as he had to be at work at nine in the morning. That was fine, I remember what it's like to be young, and able to stay up all night, then go to work. Hell, I still do stupid stuff like that. The issue however, is that he not only stayed up all night with a group of friends, but he also drank all night. He was quite hammered (his word, not mine) at five thirty this morning, and on his way back to his residence, (GF was driving, just so you know), and I will bet a hundred dollars that he doesn't make it to work. I am best off not to know. I am not thrilled, but it is his problem, and I suppose a minor one at that. I just wish that he would grow up and take responsibility for things, although as I write that, I remember being pretty stupid with jobs and my actions at his age. Funny how time erases those memories. I wasn't born a "mom", saying or doing all the things I say and do now. I also remember that my stupid actions frequently caused issues that could have been avoided, but I only learned that the hard way. I suppose it will be the same for him. I seriously do wish that he could learn a little quicker and easier than it appears he is, and who knows, maybe he will make it to work today, and all of this writing will have been for nothing. I guess it's possible he may never grow up, his father hasn't and he is closer to sixty than fifty. Can that really be true? Where does the time go? I guess technically, I am closer to fifty than forty, but that is a really depresssing(so depressing that the word deserved an extra s, apparently) thought. I have another blessed anniversary of the day I was born coming up, in less than a month. I hadn't thought about that yet, damn. I would like this birthday will be a good one, although it falls on a MONDAY, and that's just a dumb day for a birthday. My recent birthdays have fallen flat, H never thinks they are important, YS never remembers them. Never. The other two remember, and try to make it special, but I am having a hard time remembering one that actually felt good. I suppose that's my fault, maybe my expectations are too high. Once, many years ago, the kids dad went all out and made the most special one i can remember. It was nothing extravagant, he only made reservations at a restaurant for the two of us, but he had planned and put thought in it, even had flowers waiting for me on the table of the restaurant. It was an awesome night, it made me feel like I was important to him. And then on my 40th, I threw my own party, and it was a huge affair, and it was a good time. D and her husband worked really hard on it, but I decided that I didn't particularly love crowds with all the attention on me, however, it was a good time. Birthdays are really stupid, I know, but I try and make them special for those that I love. Once when I was a kid, twelve in fact, my mom had a surprise party for me, and that was really great, too. Anymore, she has gotten too sick to make too much of a big deal, but she has always tried to make them important. Some years, what she has done has been all that there was. Recently, if I don't make my own birthday plans, there are none. And I am tired of making them. I don't really love the idea of getting any older, anyway. The past few years, I have tried to have family dinners for the kids b'days like I have always done, but I have felt like the plans were more of a burden to them than fun. Because of that, I have backed off on them, and I wonder if they have perceived that as me not caring about it anymore? If so, that is not the case at all. I try to not be a pain in their ass, I used to think mine was a pain at times, but as I get older, I wonder if that is misconstrued by them. I need to ask them, I guess. Well, I think that is all that I have for any of you that have managed stay with me on all of this unimportant bullshit, with any luck, no one has died of the sheer boredom of it all. On to better things. Over and Out.