Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Wednesday I feel better just for spite

It's a good but kind of slow going week. Work is okay - we have been busy, although I cannot say why---I mean, we aren't even participating in the CASH FOR CLUNKERS mess...thank God. But still we are rolling those new and used cars right out the driveway. I love to be busy..overly busy even, it makes the days go so much faster and the bottom line black instead of red, and since I am bonused on the bottom line each month, keep those cars moving!

Home has been kind of screwy - kids and people in and out, my routine is a bit out of kilter and will stay that way for awhile. I have two things on my mind this am, the first being that Trav is coming to visit tomorrow evening until Sunday, and I am quite geared up and ready to see her, it seems to be so long since we got to spend any time at all together. I am taking Friday off from work, so I look forward to alot of time together. (I have to do something about my house before then, good heavens...)

The other thing that's weighing on my this morning is my middle child, my kiddo named Craig is moving to Colorado, and he's leaving on Friday. I cannot tell you how much I am going to miss this kid --- but at the same time, I cannot tell you how happy I am for him, you see--the reason he is going is the love of his life just moved there. He is mooning around here like a lost puppy, and even Ray Charles could see this is what he needs to do. I believe in this kid, and I know this is right for him. For me however, it's going to be difficult. He is my friend, my companion, seriously...my friend. We are so much alike in both the good and bad ways, when we fight it's nasty, but most of the time we are buddies. Him being so far away is honestly the best thing for him-growing up and all, and probably won't hurt me at all in that department, as he is the one that I can lean on. I'm not so sure that's a good thing, so this will be best for all. It's just going to hurt like a bastard. He makes me laugh, he makes me cry, he fills my heart with joy - often, or the kind of dread that only a mother can experience...and I wish him the very best that life has to offer. I hope this is what causes him to find his way and become the man that I know he will be. And it doesn't hurt at all that I love this girl he's going to be with..she is smart, beautiful, and makes my kid happy. What more could I ask for?

So, I found out this week that I have entered the big M phase in life. On a postcard from my doctor. Did I already know that I had hit that stage? well yes...I mean there are obvious signs. Did I know that the blood work the doctor did last week would tell me for sure one way or another if that godawfulsounding word MENOPAUSE would be confirmed? Yes...Did she tell me if everything was fine and as expected, a card would be mailed, and that if things were off in any way, that the office would call? Well yes, she did....then why---why---why did I cry when I saw that word on the card? Why did I feel suddenly like great aunt Tillie? Hell, you tell me. Crazy much? Mark asked what was wrong....I just answered "I am officially old". I suppose that explains a few things these past few months, but still. I am forty-nine, why did I think I was too young? Gah..

Happy Hump Day blog world. :)

6 comments:

Golden To Silver Val said...

Awwww....it ain't so bad...except for the hot flashes. Please...if you possibly can avoid it...please don't take HRT...worse thing in the world for you. I just can't imagine my life without my daughter...if she moved away. I seriously think I'd have to follow her. How wonderful to have a child that you're so close to...I have that with my daughter and we mothers who have that are truly blessed. Big hugs!!

Sophie said...

Good Morning Jamie! How delightful to find posts up from both you and Soul. Life is good! :-) I'll gladly trade you for your menopause card, I'm 55 and still waiting impatiently for the end of that hassle. It would be kinda sad to get an official announcement card in the mail though. My daughter lives six hours away and my son clear across the country, I don't get to see either of them nearly often enough, so I know how hard that is to think about. It will be a great new chapter in his life, and I know happier times in your life are just around the corner too. God never leaves us stranded and alone for long. My job is busy this week too, and I'm glad to see it's already Wednesday. Let's just get the week done and look forward to the weekend! Have a wonderful time with your sister, now that's the makings for a happy report post! :-)

SOUL: said...

ola.... crazy much? haha!
i think maybe we both are--- that, or twins--- how often have we said that? but you missed my post-- today's at least-- i was writing it-- or sleep posting-- when you commented this morning on the other one. i wrote about the same damn thing! only difference? i welcome auntie M!!! please please, she can't come quick enough. i've been "old" half my life so i don't care. all that darn womanly thing has EVER been to me was a pain. i will have a party when it leaves for good.

anyhow-- phew--- i almost broke out into a sweat after that . :))
i'm really sorry you feel bad, or sad, or old, about it-- but really--- it's baggage you don't need. just think about the freedom you will have. no cramps. no worries about bad timing. hmmmm.... need i say more? i think not.

about craig. yes it sucks in the way that he will be far from you-- but only in distance. one good thing about it-- or one OF the good things??? colorado is an awesome place to visit. i have lived there-- and it is such a different kind of cold than iowugh cold. you will love it.

and i am really happy that he met someone. really really happy for him. tell him that. k?
i know you two will keep in touch on the phone and puter. i know it isn't the same. but y'all aren't gonna not communicate or anything. don't worry. he's still your baby.

ummm... should i stop?
ya, i should prolly shut up.
you asked for it.
y'all want me to write? this is the consequences ya deal with . i just cannot shut my mouth sometimes.
sorry.

just love me. :))

and have a great time with Trav!!! i know you two will have a blast!

laterz
ox

Cheryl said...

I wish my sister was coming to visit. She lives about 12 hours away...too far. Sisters that are close should get to see each other.

I'm glad that Craig is happy. Soul's right about CO. You'll have to visit. And you'll still stay close. Do you have a webcam?

Busy day for me and once again, I'm exhausted. Will I stay up to read? Torn between blogs and my book.

Later!

Kelly Jene said...

Sweet and bittersweet time for you huh? Sister coming and son leaving. It sounds like he is chasing his heart and that is always a good thing to do. What a blessing to have such a relationship with your son.

I was tested for the big M for the first time at 25, I think. Now I'm 32 and I'm still being told I'm at least in peri-M. Bugger the whole thing.

I hope it's not too much of a b***h for you.

Terri said...

hey there; just noticed your comment on one of my posts -so glad to see you back!

This blog is a perfect place fo ryou to work out your life, looks like it's moving in the right direction I hope!