Wednesday I feel better just for spite

It's a good but kind of slow going week. Work is okay - we have been busy, although I cannot say why---I mean, we aren't even participating in the CASH FOR CLUNKERS mess...thank God. But still we are rolling those new and used cars right out the driveway. I love to be busy..overly busy even, it makes the days go so much faster and the bottom line black instead of red, and since I am bonused on the bottom line each month, keep those cars moving!

Home has been kind of screwy - kids and people in and out, my routine is a bit out of kilter and will stay that way for awhile. I have two things on my mind this am, the first being that Trav is coming to visit tomorrow evening until Sunday, and I am quite geared up and ready to see her, it seems to be so long since we got to spend any time at all together. I am taking Friday off from work, so I look forward to alot of time together. (I have to do something about my house before then, good heavens...)

The other thing that's weighing on my this morning is my middle child, my kiddo named Craig is moving to Colorado, and he's leaving on Friday. I cannot tell you how much I am going to miss this kid --- but at the same time, I cannot tell you how happy I am for him, you see--the reason he is going is the love of his life just moved there. He is mooning around here like a lost puppy, and even Ray Charles could see this is what he needs to do. I believe in this kid, and I know this is right for him. For me however, it's going to be difficult. He is my friend, my companion, seriously...my friend. We are so much alike in both the good and bad ways, when we fight it's nasty, but most of the time we are buddies. Him being so far away is honestly the best thing for him-growing up and all, and probably won't hurt me at all in that department, as he is the one that I can lean on. I'm not so sure that's a good thing, so this will be best for all. It's just going to hurt like a bastard. He makes me laugh, he makes me cry, he fills my heart with joy - often, or the kind of dread that only a mother can experience...and I wish him the very best that life has to offer. I hope this is what causes him to find his way and become the man that I know he will be. And it doesn't hurt at all that I love this girl he's going to be with..she is smart, beautiful, and makes my kid happy. What more could I ask for?

So, I found out this week that I have entered the big M phase in life. On a postcard from my doctor. Did I already know that I had hit that stage? well yes...I mean there are obvious signs. Did I know that the blood work the doctor did last week would tell me for sure one way or another if that godawfulsounding word MENOPAUSE would be confirmed? Yes...Did she tell me if everything was fine and as expected, a card would be mailed, and that if things were off in any way, that the office would call? Well yes, she did....then why---why---why did I cry when I saw that word on the card? Why did I feel suddenly like great aunt Tillie? Hell, you tell me. Crazy much? Mark asked what was wrong....I just answered "I am officially old". I suppose that explains a few things these past few months, but still. I am forty-nine, why did I think I was too young? Gah..

Happy Hump Day blog world. :)