Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I miss her already

My mother died last night. It was quick and apparently painless and just the way I prayed recently, "God, if she cannot be healed, then please take her to end her pain and suffering". She was ready, God was ready, but I was not ready. I should have known on Friday when I saw her that it would be the last time, but I didn't. She was honestly too tired to stay awake and see me, and that hurt me, a little. But even then, when being that tired was so out of character for her, I didn't know it would be the last time. "I love you Momma..I'll see you soon", was the last thing I said to her. I believed I would see her soon. But last night I was there, and she wasn't. Her things were everywhere in that house that is ALL her, her doggies were all over the place, her husband stood there crying, but she was gone. That was hard friends. Really, really hard. I stood there and so many memories came over me, from when I was small to just last week, and that was so hard. She was a good mom, no matter what, I knew I was loved. I guess there is nothing more that can be asked of any person. I miss her already.

22 comments:

Terri said...

oh Jamie, I'm so sorry to hear this. Your wonderful memories of her will keep you going over the next few tough weeks. Prayers and hugs all the day long from me to you.

Gypsy said...

Jamie there is absolutely nothing I can say to help make you feel better but please know you and your family are in my thoughts. I hope your Mom is resting peacefully now in the arms of a beautiful angel.

Big hugs and kisses xxx

Brad said...

I'm so sorry dear. This silly typing is frustrating me when all I want to do is reach out and give you a hug.

Gods speed Mom - You are greatly loved.

desert dirt diva said...

oh jamie,i am so srry to hear it...gosh i send you internet hugs and prayers..
take care
vicki
p.s. everything brad says..

Kelly Jene said...

Jamie you have been the best daughter for her, she knew that and she loved you so much. I'm so sorry you are hurting. It's the one relief to know she isn't hurting or tired or struggling any more. God will take good care of her.

I love you. Great big hugs.

fiwa said...

I am glad she is past the pain, but I am so sorry for you, dearheart. I too wish I could put my arms around you and hug you.

Sending you my love,
fiwa

Golden To Silver Val said...

Dear friend Jamie...I am sooo sorry. I know what you're going through and I also know that nothing anyone says right now seems like its enough. Its not easy and even though the years do help with the pain....I still deeply miss my mom and its been almost 26 years. Its truly wonderful to be loved that much, isn't it? Your mom knows she was loved too, Jamie. And just like Kelly says, God will take good care of her now. Sending hugs and prayers of strength for you and your family. Much Love, Charlotte

CRUSTYBEEF said...

I am soo sorry..so very very sorry--your loss is being felt and your words have brought tears--

I'm thinking of you Jaime.
Love,
Elizabeth

Mary said...

Jamie, Any words I can say are inadequate. The loss of a mother is like no other pain. I'm thinking of you and your family with kindness and compassion.

Cheryl said...

You're loved Jamie, and we feel your pain. No matter how prepared you think you are, you're not. Just hope that your mother is in a place that she's so happy, that she can hardly stand it. She's out of pain and not suffering. And you? One day at a time, one minute at a time.

I'm thinking this new job was maybe not meant to be. What do you think?

M Chickk said...

I am so very sorry. I wish there was more I could do or say. You and your family are in my prayers.

Raine said...

(((Jamie)))) I am so very sorry for your loss

Raine said...

(((Jamie)))) I am so very sorry for your loss

jyankee said...

Wow... I come back and find you blogging again...but that you've lost your mom. All I can say is that I'm sorry... your mom is in a good place now...and that my thoughts are with you.

Smocha said...

Oh Jamie, I'm so sorry . I know she was a great mom and you loved her very much. My thoughts and prayers are with you and the rest of her loved ones.

(((hugs)))
Lena

Portia said...

I'm so very sorry Jamie. Many hugs and prayers from me to you.

ac said...

I'm so so sorry for your great loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you go through this difficult time. Hugs. ac

Beth said...

oh jamie....I am so sorry for your loss. I do know what you're going through...please know that I am praying for you and you need to take TIME to grieve...on YOUR terms.

Flavius Maximus said...

sorry to hear this... God bless you

Summer said...

I'm so sorry dear. My prayers are with you and your family.

bonnie said...

Oh my God oh my God, I'm so sorry. Ooohhh baby girl I'm so so sad for you. I can hear your cries and feel your tears on the wind all the way here. Oh sweet girl, I send you peace.

Amanda said...

(((((((((Jamie)))))))))))


:(