Sunday, June 15, 2008

Much ado about nothing

I have decided there just aren't enough hours in the day; always in my past, I assumed I was working too much. Recently though, there still aren't enough hours, as I still cannot manage to accomplish everything on my list, and I have no job to go to. Every morning, my intentions are great, every evening, I fall onto the couch having only crossed a thing or two or five off of my list; and my list seems to be growing longer. We did make it all the way back to the old house yesterday, and left with a car completely full, and still we have so much left to do something with. Next Saturday is the day that we go back and stay most of the day until it's finished. No more will come this direction, the rest of it will be set out on the curb for pick up by the city or the pilferer's. Then we have hours of cleaning to do there, but at least it will be done. I am so ready for something to be done. I am not however, looking forward to that day, cleaning that place up is going to be hard, it needs scrubbed and polished, and it looks so sad now that we are no longer living there. I have to admit I felt a twinge of sadness going back inside yesterday, I guess because of the finality of it. I am ready for it to sell quickly, for financial reasons as well as for sentimental ones. It was a great old house to raise my kids in, to raise our dogs in, to house this stray and that one...it was a house full of love. Now it is empty and that really makes me feel sad. That house needs kids and laughter and busy lives, it does not need to stand empty for too long.

So, leaving there with a car full of-shall we say crap?-meant that I had to do something with it on this end. This new place is now officially full and cannot take anymore. I do not want a cluttered place, I never have been able to handle that, so getting and keeping it organized is next on my list. I have managed that for the most part, but with each new box comes the requirement of fitting in it with the already unpacked and organized, and that means it takes more time and energy. But I am slowly getting there.

My pain level has not gotten any better, and I am frankly surprised by that. By the end of the day, I am still barely able to walk, and while I have been busy, I have not been that busy. I don't know if you all remember that I have been taking Cymbalta for neuropathy, and I tried to go off of it a while back, only to discover that the withdrawals were more than I could handle at that time. It dawned on my a couple of days ago that I had not taken it this week, and that explains so many things -- like my pain level, and some of the electric "shock" feelings I have been having. Apparently, it has been helping my pain way more than I knew, but now that I have the withdrawals behind me, there is no way that I am going to take it again. It is also a depression medication which I felt certainly wouldn't hurt me, and maybe would help, but so far in that area, I'm doing okay. Or at least I think I am, so often we are the only ones that can't tell how we are acting. I know it's nice to FEEL things again, and unless you have been on anti-depressants, you don't know what I'm talking about. The hard part is deciding whether you are "feeling" them too much. I will have to get back to you on that one,

Mark is leaving this morning to pick up my sister, Trav. I am so looking forward to her being here, I cannot tell you. It will be a short visit, but there will be many more to follow. We have a couple of things to do the next few days, but for the most part, our time will be ours, and that is such a great feeling. We will have to visit our mom on Tuesday. Mark and I went to mom's house yesterday to drop off a Father's Day card for Richard, who is doing great by the way----mending very nicely and looks wonderful---and poor mom cried when I left. She said I am always in a hurry and misses being able to spend any kind of time with me, so I promised that Trav and I would be there on Tuesday, and stay a long while. I really felt bad leaving her.

Yesterday, two of my kiddo's were here all evening, we went to dinner, and had a really great time. I love living near my kids, it is so awesome.

Happy Father's day to all of you dad's. I miss mine this morning, and would love to have just a minute to talk to him. Hug yours if you still have him, okay?

:)

8 comments:

ac said...

It's got to be great to be near your kiddos! Have a great visit with Trav! Take care of yourself! ac

desert dirt diva said...

Hi jamie... once again i am saying sorry i have not gotten to read lately.....but well i have been busy...I know how it is to move....and if i could i would buy your house it looks awesome.....but its in the wrong state..enjoy your visit with your sister..

Kelly Jene said...

Happy Dad's day to your hubby! Praying that everything straightens out for you. Enjoy your visit!!

Gypsy said...

Just a thought Jamie...you don't think you might make lists so long and undoable that you could never hope to cross everything off in one day? I know I do and then I get mad with myself that I didn't achieve the unachievable.

Take some time off to heal, visit with Trav and your Mum and then you will be refreshed to tackle what's coming up next. Give yourself permission to breathe hon.

Happy Fathers Day to Mark.

Cheryl said...

I hardly ever make lists. Or, I write them afterwards so I can see what I've done.

I know I'll feel badly when my parents leave their house. It's been the family home for over 40 years. It will be so hard to clean that out. It's FULL of stuff. It's got to be bittersweet for you to be leaving yours behind. You'll have the memories!

Summer said...

GAWD. I'm a terrible friend. I tried to catch up with you today. OMG! You quit your job! Good!

And how are you feeling tonight? How's DH doing? Did he have a good Father's Day?

Love to you.

abbagirl74 said...

Happy Father's Day to you also.

SOUL: said...

that's a lot of ado about something.

hope you and trav have a blast while she's there.

it will be so nice to have a real visit--and not have to drive 2 hours to see your mom, or go out to eat, or anything else you want to do.

ttyl
don't work too hard--
ox