And to think that I believed this whole out of work thing would be temporary. Fool. My ego is in literal pain, and I have no earthly idea why, WHY, I do not have a job yet. I am doing everything possible to find just the right one. It has now been five weeks, don't you all think that's long enough? I am beginning to question myself, my abilities, everything about me. Am I too brash, am I too tough, not tough enough, too smart, too stupid, too...shit, everything?
I did not get the job running the truck shop that I really, really wanted. It was by far the one I was THE most qualified for, the one that made me feel the most comfortable, and the money was decent. Or at least I was told it was. However, I do believe that money played a part in their decision, and I am wondering, am I expecting too much? I had agreed to their salary cap, their top amount, and that was still nearly twenty-thousand less than I had been making. I am aware that they do NOT care what I would have made this year had I stayed in my former position, but should it NOT play a part in what I do? At this point, I would pretty much take about anything, but the lower positions that I have applied for, I do NOT hear anything from. It makes me wonder if I should "dumb down" my resume for lower type jobs...not lower in the class sense, but lower in the area of responsibility and money...just so you know. In any event, SHIT.
I am beginning to question every damned thing about ME, and that's always been something I am sure of...ME. I know what I can do, I know what I can give, I know what I need and want. Why does no one want me? And this is pretty much rhetorical, because if any of you know why no one wants me, I don't think my bruised ego can take it right now, or at least be gentle. :)
But in other news:
So much happening, so little time.