Thursday, October 11, 2007

Tweedle Dee Tweedle Dum

So, I drive to work this morning, and it was okay, I was worn all the way out, but no more so than most other mornings, but I couldn't muster the energy or the strength to move my legs to get out of the car. With help, I made it to my office, only to gather some files and be driven back home again. Humiliating? Oh yeah...to have employees, but friends, help me across that damned huge showroom floor. So here I sit at home, in pain, waiting for the pills to kick in, so that I can at least do some of the quarterly tax reports that will soon be due. It seems that I am so behind in every damned thing. I am feeling pretty down---and lately, in spite of the obvious, I haven't been.

The Dr's office called - the Dr that I see tomorrow- and wanted some history, and although it was only an office employee, at the end of the conversation I asked her how long the procedure would take. She said that IF the Dr decided to do an epidural, then it would take about a half an hour. I said "IF?". She told me that it would be up to the Dr. I then told her that there would be no other reason for me to visit him. She then replied "This is a pain management clinic, and only ONE of the things that we do to manage pain is the epidurals". Bet me. I am not going there for pills and drugs and bullshit, I am not ready to give in to "pain management", as far as I know, we are still in the "make the pain go all the way away" stage. I have been down this road with my family. And, like i said, it was only an office employee. But still, it only wrecked my crappy morning further. Blech. Out.

12 comments:

CCC said...

I know you feel crappy about others helping you, but let them. People want to help. You won't always be this way and maybe someday you can return the favor. Which I know you would do anything to help someone who is sick or in need. I'm just glad you are back at home and resting up for now.

Cheryl said...

People really do want to help. My mother was handicapped by a stroke, and loves to tell me stories of strangers offering help. Thank goodness for the kindness of others. I think we all know it could us one day, that needs a helping hand.

Forget that office worker. She's not the doctor. Go forth tomorrow and hope for the best! (that'll be 2 cents, please)

Portia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Portia said...

it's true, jamie, in spite of everything, you have been amazingly upbeat. even when you're not, you somehow manage to put a smile on my face every day. i hope the best for you tomorrow and will be keeping you close in thoughts and prayers.

Pen and the Sword said...

That office worker is probably trained to be elusive. I wouldn't worry, hon. Hopefully we'll be reading good news about tomorrow ;o)

Amanda said...

Ugh. I know what you mean about the vague employee and their if's and maybe's. Drives me up the wall.

No worries Jamie. I'm sure it will work out. I'm terribly backlogged too, so I'll keep you company. :)

Beth said...

"BET ME"...Love that! Give them hell and get your epidural!

Josie Two Shoes said...

I'm sad to read that your morning started out so difficult. I am glad you got home safely, where you can at least medicate a little. I certainly hope that your visit to the doctor's office tommorow will be for the epidural. I think you've been more than patient long enough! I sure can't blame you for feeling down, just know - as the others said here, that even though asking or needing help is not your style, all the people who care about you really do want to help... LET THEM! Part of being strong is learning when to let others be strong for you, then need the opportunity for their karma too! :-) I wish hugs could help you feel better, we'd send you a million or two!

SOUL: said...

don't get all bummed out..she obviously didn't have your records..or your info. don't wprry til you hear different.
take care.

Gypsy said...

She was probably just speaking in general terms about what they do there. Who knows? She might have been having a crappy day herself, not that that's any excuse but to her its probably just a job. It very likely didn't even occur to her how much you are hoping and praying for the release from pain this epidural should give you though she should if its a pain management clinic. Good Luck Jamie, I'm hoping for a wonderful outcome for you.

Btw, I think you are awesome that with all you have on your plate, chronic pain included, you still find the time to visit everyone and leave thoughtful comments. I want you to know how much I appreciate that.

SOUL: said...

well... it's the big day... good luck. let us know how it goes.
thinking of you.

SOUL: said...

just out of curiosity-
who is tweedle dee
and who is
tweedle dum?