Friday, October 05, 2007

Ahhhh Friday


I didn't make it to work yesterday. I did manage to lay on the couch all day long. My couch and I have quite a thing going on. If it were a person, I would say that my husband should be jealous. I am spending ALL my time with it. It knows all my intimate secrets. Occasionally, we throw a third into the mix----gasp-----yes, a ménage à trois is something that is little talked about by me, but Mason the kitty does join in occasionally, and he purrs quite loudly, laying behind me. That has become my life.

Today is Friday, and I am going to work today, at least for as long as I can stand it. Tonight, I have dinner plans with my kids in the big city and I am going if H has to carry me in. And he might. I am hoping that I hear the results from the MRI that I had last Friday, today. I have been thinking about this the past few days and my theory is this: I was in that damned MRI capsule for an hour and a half, flat on my back a week ago. I couldn't feel anything from the waist down by the time I got out of there. I believe that aggravated whatever is wrong with my back/legs and caused this latest, most severe flare up. I NEVER lay flat. I always sleep on my side, perhaps subconsciously for this reason. I do believe they will find a problem on the images of my spine and at this point, if the neighbor had a sharp knife, I would let him "fix" the problem. Although, I hope the Dr would want to try epidurals or something first. Yes, i know they can be quite scary and bad for you, but so can suicide, and frankly....that is where I am in all of this. This pain is the most unrelenting, life-sucking, son-of-a-bitching imaginable....and something has to be done. So, I am looking for some kind of help next week. But we will see.

I am hoping that each of you have a great Friday, and I will settle for one that i can just make it through. Here's to Friday! Out.


I talked to the Dr's office as I was walking in to work this morning. My spine is a mess - the doctors words, not mine. L1 through L5, a hairline crack, arthritis, stenosis, two of them bulging or herniated, inflamed nerves...shall I go on? He wants to try epidurals before surgery, as i expected. And as I wanted, because surgery really should be a last resort. He also has reason to believe that my upper spine has issues and wants an MRI of the cervical area, as well. Just fucking peachy. I had hoped that i had escaped the "bad spine genes" that run in the females in my family. Ummm....not so much.


Pen and the Sword said...

That is such a bummer, hon. I feel for you. When I worked manufacturing I hurt my back pretty bad. Then carrying twins made it worse. To this day, if I sit and type too long my back gets so bad that my whole left arm aches like I did a million reps with a 100 pound hand weight. Back problems ARE NOT fun. Hope your results come back better than you think and the solution to your pain issue is simple. I will keep you in my thoughts, hon :o)

abbagirl74 said...

I am thinking of you and hoping you will have a great weekend. You deserve it.

Stepping Over the Junk said...

Oh my GOD that must be horrific for you! I am so sorry! Go back to the couch!

the landshark said...

dinner tonight will be fun and hopefully take your mind off of some things. we could always carry you in like you just made the winning touchdown; that's probly a good way to get free drinks. and we like free drinks cuz if its free its for me. :) beer friday is always a good thing.

SOUL: said...

hiya girlie...

lemmee just say this... i understand your feelings, and "dark" thoughts. the thinking that death has just got to be better than living every day in pain. i have been there.. and i am sure i will be there again.

the following through with that as an option for pain management (or even psyche management) unfortunately (or would that be fortunately? ) NOT an option. it's just not. it can't be. you have kids. and , well.. as you know, all moms to the back of the line . right?

surely the doc will find or do something that will make life more bearable for you. they have to. and you're right.. maybe the lying on your back so long did aggravate something... but that could end up being good.... because what may not have shown on the mRI now may. ya know?

anyhow.. just hold out a little longer, continue the affair with the couch and the cat :))
and see what the doc says.

until then.... enjoy your night out with the chicken family (it's the only thing that fit!)

and keep me posted ok?
i wanna know what the doc says and or does..and i want to hear that tonight turns out much better (physically) than you anticipate!

i hope you have a happy day... i know it's hard ... but i know you can do it..
cuz after all.. YOU (insert a phrase here that i won't feel like an idiot for saying, because i never say the "right" thing... but something positive!)

c ya round..

SOUL: said...

i DARE you!
even if she feels good.. i DOUBLE DARE you to do that!!!

have a great day, and night..
i hope you get free beer!

Gypsy said...

Dear girl, no wonder you are in such intolerable pain. Even one of those things would be unbearable. It's cruel that you have to endure this hell but please hang in there and fingers crossed that something can be done....and SOON.

Josie Two Shoes said...

LOL Jamie... one should never mention intimate relationships and animals in the same sentence!!! :-)
THough I have admittedly loved some of the cats in my life much more than some of the men. :-)

I am SO GLAD that I just now got here and was able to read the update... hallelujah! Not about the damage, but because it is a very logical explanation for all the pain you're in - yes, certainly laying flat on your back for the MRI would have aggrevated it. (And now you have to do it again, GROAN). Treatment possibilities... there's that tiny light of hope at the end of the tunnel Jamie - keep focused on it and hold on!

SOUL: said...

holy crap! that's a damn book of stuff.

good part... they now know what is causing the pain AND can actually DO something to help you. be it epidurals or surgery. it can be fixed.

bad part.. you will still have to deal with the pain for a while.. but it will get better. you know that now, and that in itself is a blessing. the curse is the knowing and not knowing why or what to do about it. right?

you are at a good place now.
when will they get started on well.. whatever they will start with?

how long will it take for you to walk without pain?
and btw.. how in the hell are you walking at all with freakin cracks in your back????

perhaps you need to NOT walk so much til the docs do something??

be very careful with yourself ok?

i hope you are feeling relieved..and not defeated.

take care
and i hope YOU get free beer too

Amanda said...

Thank you for updating us,


I'm sad but not surprised. It was obvious that something very serious was going on, we just didn't know what. I hope those epidurals can help you.

CCC said...

Get well soon, my love. We're here for you...

Pen and the Sword said...

That had to be shocking news, but at least you finally heard what the doctor's found out. I hope everything works out for you. Please keep us posted.

Portia said...

frick. i'm sorry. i am relieved that at last you are starting to get somewhere in your search for answers, or at least i hope it feels that way. you have made it far beyond the point at which most of us would give up, that's for sure. if that's how you feel, then by all means, say it. but please don't! i truly hope you are able to enjoy your dinner & the weekend ahead. i'll be thinking of you.
(feel better already dontcha? ;)

abbagirl74 said...

Well, at least you have some answers. Now it is time to move forward. Is it wrong for me to tell you there is light at the end of the tunnel, that one day you will hopefully be pain free? Because I wish that for you. I wish you weren't in so much pain. But, you are always in my thoughts as I pass your blog twice a day. Have a great weekend.

Anonymous said... we know that the cause of your pain has actual NAMES..that is indeed a good thing! now if those epidurals can work...but you have to go thru that MRI again..well here's to a good first step!

Maria said...

Wow. I have two herniated discs and I thought THAT was agony. Oh, my.

Well, at least now no can accuse you of being a faker. You are fucking amazing just to be getting up and walking!

And this can be good news, you know? Now that you know what it is, you can try to get it fixed.


I'm thinking of your and hoping the pain awful to have to endure that!!