Saturday, July 21, 2007

How low can you go?

I am looking for the positives this morning. MAYBE having a little trouble finding them...but then again, I am upright, the sun is shining...it's Saturday, a short work day for me....damn, I think I am out of positives. I could go into how great my kids are and my family, but i need the REAL thing right now. Yesterday was one of the lowest points in my life, and frankly, I don't know why. I have had many a worse day in my life; just my mood I guess. I did go to the dr, and he scared the shit right out of me, apparently my sodium levels are way too low; big deal, just eat salt, right? WRONG. I told him I knew why, it's all the GLOWING (sweating) i have been doing in the night from the miracle pills...he disagreed, but I know that's what it is. He does not sleep with me so he had no idea how much GLOW I am talking about, but buckets would probably be appropriate. Even though he didn't agree, he cut the dosage back on the miracle pill, so I now can look forward to more pain, less freedom. Shit. The freakin' headache from HELL won't go away, he says the sodium is the reason. Low sodium can be the result of the beginnings of...kidney problems...heart problems....lung problems...no, the FUCKING sweating is the problem.But he sent me to the hospital for more tests, but he will be on vacation for the next week, so I will not know the results for ten days...no matter...yes, scare the HELL right out of me, so that i can stew about it while you ride RAGBRAI all week long. (RAGBRAI is a bike across Iowa trip that thousands of serious bicycle riders make every year). So, that was my day. And I didn't feel like going out, and oh HELL how I hate to miss a night out on a Friday. Call me a whiner...it would be appropriate.

H came by to see CrazyDog, stayed all evening, is currently asleep upstairs, and I am okay with that. I really didn't want to be alone last evening, I knew I was too far down for that...although we didn't talk of anything important, and i didn't ask him to stay, he just knew I needed him to I guess, and for that I am grateful. I would have had trouble asking him to do that, in fact, there is no way I would have...no wonder he cannot understand me. I went to sleep early, he was on the computer late. I wish I knew what the hell I was doing.

Why won't this friggin' headache go elsewhere? Out.

10 comments:

Stepping Over the Junk said...

Oh lady, this doesnt sound fun for you. I'm sorry. Our bodies are just adjusting and readjusting always to whatever we end up having to take for one thing, something else changes (does that make sense?). Headaches are horridly debilitating, especially when trying to function in daily life.

Yes, you can link me, thanks for visiting my blog!

Hope you feel better.

JYankee said...

it seems like everyone is going thru a bad period right now... i can only hope it gets better... keep ur chin up... rooting for ya from over here.

CCC said...

Different dr? Would that help? I don't know if you get along with him, but if your symptoms don't improve, I would want to get another dr's opinion.
Life's too short to live w/ constant headaches. And other maladts. I'm glad H is back...you need him now.;)

CCC said...

You have an award waiting...come on down ;)

Amanda said...

((((((((((Jamie)))))))))

Separations are hard enough without being dreadfully ill on top of it.

May your health improve soon, with or without this doc!

Josie Two Shoes said...

Jamie, I am always a firm believer that we know our own bodies best. Doctors can do the test and all the analysis, but we have the little voice inside that sometimes tells us what's going on. If this doc isn't listening at all to your input, time to find one who wll. And scaring you with dire predictions and then leaving for 10 days, geesh, how crappy is that?! I know the meds you've been taking has made so much difference in your pain levels, so the thought of facing more pain again on top of everthing else is a bit overwhelming... no, not a bit, A LOT overwhelming. Just know that we are all here for you, and you can get thru this ONE DAY at a time. Just today, you can do that. There really are no other viable choices, you can't live under the table or the bed (even when the urge strikes). Keep praying, hang on tightly to hope. A dark cloud seems to be hanging over several folks these days, but they never last forever. The sun does return. Don't give up, Kid, we love you!!

Missy A said...

I'm with a few others here, change docs if you can.
Find one who explains why doesn't just disagree with you you need a doc who wants to help you not just "adjust" medications.

Oh love Crazy dogs haircut LoL thats so cute!

Summer said...

Josie is right. Seek a second opinion. Or even a new doctor if you feel it is warranted. The low sodium level could be giving you the headache. What did he say about that? I hope you're feeling a little better today. I understand the chronic pain issue and how it affects every freaking thing in our lives.

SOUL: said...

i do hope you get to feeling better real soon. i know it's bull S&*^%
to feel like crap for too long.
and i know it's crap to have a doctor who doesn't seem to give a damn too.
ugh. been there.
sorry. add some coffee to whatever you take for a headache. caffeine with aspeine seems to do more than without.
hope it's gone today tho.
take care

SOUL: said...

obviously, i meant to write.. aspirin...
also.. i left a reply..on yesterdays post.. it's kinda general...but it's for you tooo obviously. well i hope obviously. (it's for the three of you who left the nice notes there.