I am looking for the positives this morning. MAYBE having a little trouble finding them...but then again, I am upright, the sun is shining...it's Saturday, a short work day for me....damn, I think I am out of positives. I could go into how great my kids are and my family, but i need the REAL thing right now. Yesterday was one of the lowest points in my life, and frankly, I don't know why. I have had many a worse day in my life; just my mood I guess. I did go to the dr, and he scared the shit right out of me, apparently my sodium levels are way too low; big deal, just eat salt, right? WRONG. I told him I knew why, it's all the GLOWING (sweating) i have been doing in the night from the miracle pills...he disagreed, but I know that's what it is. He does not sleep with me so he had no idea how much GLOW I am talking about, but buckets would probably be appropriate. Even though he didn't agree, he cut the dosage back on the miracle pill, so I now can look forward to more pain, less freedom. Shit. The freakin' headache from HELL won't go away, he says the sodium is the reason. Low sodium can be the result of the beginnings of...kidney problems...heart problems....lung problems...no, the FUCKING sweating is the problem.But he sent me to the hospital for more tests, but he will be on vacation for the next week, so I will not know the results for ten days...no matter...yes, scare the HELL right out of me, so that i can stew about it while you ride RAGBRAI all week long. (RAGBRAI is a bike across Iowa trip that thousands of serious bicycle riders make every year). So, that was my day. And I didn't feel like going out, and oh HELL how I hate to miss a night out on a Friday. Call me a whiner...it would be appropriate.
H came by to see CrazyDog, stayed all evening, is currently asleep upstairs, and I am okay with that. I really didn't want to be alone last evening, I knew I was too far down for that...although we didn't talk of anything important, and i didn't ask him to stay, he just knew I needed him to I guess, and for that I am grateful. I would have had trouble asking him to do that, in fact, there is no way I would have...no wonder he cannot understand me. I went to sleep early, he was on the computer late. I wish I knew what the hell I was doing.
Why won't this friggin' headache go elsewhere? Out.