Monday, May 28, 2007

Peace


Holidays that fall on Monday always seem to strange to me, like I SHOULD be getting myself to work, but I'm not....a little like playing hooky, but without the fun. I am really not in the mood for a day off today, how strange is that? I frankly have too much to do. I could go in today, anyway, but H would rather I didn't, and I guess it will all wait. All things on the job front remain a little messed up, and i will be glad when all the crap is over.


I DID have a good time yesterday, it was quite nice, and the bond that my sisters and I share never cease to amaze me. The older we get, the more we understand it. It is a bit of a surprise to me---as my older sister and i really have never been anything like the other, but that seems to be a narrower gap with age. And it really doesn't matter. She and I went through so much during our young lives, and that really does make a difference. Our younger sister was a part of a different life, the later one, the much better one. Certainly not her fault, but she was not there for most of the issues of before. But anyway, it was a good day. Well worth the seven and a half driving hours.


I would like to be able to take this Memorial day and do the traditional-----I am six hours aways from the cemetery where my father and brother and grandparents are, but I would like to be there----I obviously could, but someday I will explain why I feel I can't, it's a long story, much more involved and raw than I feel like going into today---but I guess it really doesn't matter. Family relationships can be such a mess at times.... I despise the drama that goes along with all of it, and i have spent my adult life running from the bullshit of it all. I learned a long, long time ago, that confrontations with family members leave me feeling bad-the understatement of the year-and that in 99 percent of the cases, it just isn't worth it. I know what I know, and that cannot be changed. I have tried in the particular case i am talking about, I can do no more. My motto of my forties: Let it go. So I have.


I hope that each of you have the best of Memorial days, and that if you are into the traditional doings of this day, that it leaves you feeling peace. For those of us that have family members in the military, I thank you and them for all that you have sacrificed----without them, none of us would be what we are today.


Peace.

3 comments:

CCC said...

I think I know what you mean about going to the cemetary. I didn't go on mother's day. and I doubt i'll go on father's day either. Although, the graves are just 45 min-1 hr away. "let it go" is a terrific motto. For any age. But more difficuly qwhen you're in your twenties. The older we get the more quickly we realize that life is short. And getting shorter. Have a great day, lady!

Josie Two Shoes said...

I'm glad you had a great time visiting with your sisters, Jamie. It is strange how there is a stronger sense of closeness as you grow older, despite the differences. My little sister was also born enough later to live a "different life", and doesn't remember it at all like we other two do. She often thinks we make things up. I understand about the cemetary too. Family is such a complicated issue, and you are right that most confrontations accomplish less that we hope for. It is difficult, but maybe in the end more healing, to let it go. The past is the past and can't be undone. We learn to live with it's shadows. I wish you a wonderful day...Monday's away from work are the best! :-)

Amanda said...

Love the motto.