Thursday, March 22, 2007


Spring certainly has arrived. There is no doubt about it, and I realized that fact immediately this morning at 1:45. That was when I was BOUNCED out of bed by a clap of thunder. Literally. This old house shook, and that is not an easy thing to do, shake this three story brick monstrosity. Holy crap. It wasn't more than two minutes later that the noaa weather radio went off. Then came the hail. (shit, I HATE hail---I'm sure that stems from being in the car business too long, and having to deal with MAJOR hail claims/dented cars). I worried about the new car sitting outside my house. (We have a THREE car garage, but there is no room in them for a bicycle, let alone a car, but that's another story that irritates the hell out of me). I also worried about the car lot, eighteen miles north of here, and prayed that it was spared, as the hail that I heard last night sounded large enough to do significant damage. The storm was short lived and it passed pretty quickly. I had just gotten back to sleep, and I had the damned "Chemo Bald Father" dream. Again. This time, I awoke crying, real tears. I hate waking up that way. It was now only 2:30. WTF? I don't remember him taking up nearly as much time in my thoughts when he was alive, so why the hell do I DREAM about him now? I always wanted to be able to say that someone that had passed on was contacting me from the "other side". But this is not what this is. At least I don't think so. He is so vivid in my dream, and has no hair, that is the way he looked when he died----it was from the chemo. I am dancing with him, then I wake up. Only this time, I am crying, so hard, for real. I miss him, I already know that. But this dream is really disturbing me. Whatever. My night had already gotten off to a bad start, I was in terrible pain, and had taken more medication than usual. I have been walking---two miles at a time, several times a week, and last evening was perfect for a walk. I knew i would pay for it when I was doing it, but I am trying so hard to get these ten pounds off, plus the dr told me that it would help my medical issues. But it sure hurts. I have neuropathy, with no apparent cause,and I am taking major medication for it, and it is helping my strength, but not the pain. So it was midnight before I got to sleep. Then i dealt with the thunder from hell, and the dream from hell. And here I am. Freakin tired. And cranky. And it's my mother's birthday, so I will be taking her and her H and friend to lunch, and it is a twelve hour day at the garage. Yippee. A LOT to look forward to.

My avocado pit/wannabe plant is growing a tail. It looks rather gross sitting in the glass of water on my kitchen counter. Why not? Adds interest.

This is the anniversary of the death of my four legged baby, two years ago today, my Snowman died. It was and still is one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with. I miss him every single day.

I'd better get on with my day. I have to do to work, leave to go see my mom, then go back to work. Hope your day is great. Later.


Beth said...

wow, there is alot of pain in that post...physical and otherwise.

What exactly is neuropothy? hope I spelled that right....

dreams have me in a tizzy at times too, esp. when you dream about someone who has died and then you wake up missing them more than ever. Maybe your Dad is just trying to tell you that he misses you too.

me, I lOVE thunderstorms...not hail, but lots of thunder and lightning. I sleep so good!

Hope the cars weren't damaged! And have a great day, maybe you'll get some rest tonite.

simonsays said...

beth--thank you for your comments and good wishes! Neuropathy is a neurological problem, the signals from the brain don't get to where they should go, or some damned thing. I know it's quite painful---and I have dealt with it for a really long time. I have had health issues most of my life, and I try to just keep pluggin' along. Old age, you know. I don't let it get me too far down. Thanks for stopping by !