Damn

Not a good day, yesterday wasn't. I made two trips to the big city, to the hospital, to see what the hell was going on my with my mom. I am still not too sure. I just know that things aren't going well. She looks about as tiny as a three year old in that bed. She looks old. I am not ready to lose her, and all this bullshit could end that way. I am disappointed in the whole medical profession as far as she is concerned. Her whole case has been mishandled, is still being mishandled, and now she pays the price. She apparently has quite an infection in the area of her surgery a month ago. She has been back to the dr's several times, they have pretty much blown her off, and now they are all in a lather because it's "so much worse than expected". Now she has an INFECTIOUS DISEASE doctor that has joined the team, and she will evidently need six weeks of intravenous antibiotics, SIX WEEKS, and the newly (surgically) opened wound is bleeding profusely. WTF? It was late when we finally got home. I am very scared about all of this. I don't understand why the newly appointed doctor, why from infectious diseases, when the culture that they took has not come back from the lab. If the infection has gotten so bad, why in the hell did no one do anything about it TEN DAYS AGO, when they first knew there was a problem? Or even last Friday, when they SCHEDULED this new surgery....how can a doctor not HAVE THE TIME on his schedule? Then, on the way home, D called. The kids dad had another stroke, and had been life-flighted to the nearest university hospital. I was not prepared for that news. I am worried for him, too. They won't let the kids visit until today after noon, the damage hasn't been assessed, they won't know anything until after that. He is only 57, and it really hurts my heart. He should not be in this position, he is not that old, the kids are not ready to lose their dad, I am not ready for him to be gone. It's hard for me to understand that any of this can be happening to him, in my mind he is still young and relatively healthy. His heart was bad when we were married, he had a heart attack at 42, heart troubles wouldn't surprise me, but a stroke? In any event, I pray for him, as well. Like I said, it was a bad day yesterday. Today, has GOT to be better.