Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Back at the Ranch....

I hate the wheel of fortune, and I am just too damned lazy to get up to get the remote. Not really lazy, in too much pain when I move. I never have been a game show fan, I think they are all pretty boring. I have been spending my time today reading, and trying to sleep, but the pain has been too bad for that. I talked on the phone a little, to Owner, he was trying to keep me up on what's going on at work. I realize that I spend a lot of time bitching about my job, and I do have valid reasons, but i neglect to say that i also am fully aware that I have it made at my job, yes-there are problems, and way too many of them, but Owner is my friend, and for that i am lucky. He had been quite good to me over the years, and while am beginning to have fantasies about leaving there, I really don't think I would ever be able to find anything remotely close to what I have. I guess I just have the ten year blues. Or is it the ten year itch? Or does the itch only apply to marriage, because in many ways, that's what the relationship between owner and I is like, marriage. Except for THAT. Not that he hasn't tried, he has, many, many times. He still tries, most every day. But he IS a really good friend to me, except for when he is taking me for granted, and acting like we are married. I am sure I act like a pissed off wife frequently, as well. I have told him on many occasions how much I appreciate all that he has done for me, and he tells me he feels the same. I love him, he knows it, H knows it and Owners girlfriend knows it. But not like that. He feels the same, and because of that, we act terrible to each other sometimes. At least once a week I am forced to say to him "if I didn't love you, I would have to kill you right now". He just smiles and goes on being "himself". In any event, I am lucky, although tomorrow I will unable to tell you why, when the phone is ringing, and customers are complaining and owner is buzzing me, and the books are waiting, and the salesmen are standing outside my door waiting to bring in a deal, and the parts man has an issue and the service manager is yelling......I am exhausted just thinking about all of it. H called at five-thirty, the truck door was just then being put down, and they still have the drive and have to UNLOAD it, it will be three am before he gets home, if we're lucky. I would not be happy if I were him, hell I am not happy about it, and I am here. My kids take all of it way too much for granted. I don't want to talk about that now, but some changes really have to be made there. I guess I will go lay down, I can't take any more game show screaming. Later.

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