I have been sitting here, at my keyboard for most of the night. Well, most of what you all would call the night. I am not sure what I call it, the late night "everyone in the world is asleep but me" hours have become my mornings. I don't really mind the shift in my hours and my thinking, but my oh-so-tired body would like to argue that point. Sleeping beyond one or two in the am has become impossible. As a general rule, by that hour, I have been in the bed, fitfully asleep three or four hours. Not enough by far, but tell my body that --- the bones in my legs that seem to lay directly on top of each other, poking me painfully, the burning up and down the backs of each, the throbbing in my neck and head, the electrical "shocks" I feel in my feet and hands, the horrific charlie horses I get in my upper thighs and my rear end. No pillow, no position, no kind of change that I can make can change the fact that I cannot lay there one second longer. Mason and Meisha love my new hours, after all, they are allowed to eat breakfast at that ridiculous hour. There is nothing like the smell of tuna, whitefish (?), cod, etc at two am. Oh yeah.
Other than my crazy nights, nothing much has changed here in limbo land. I wait for the big move, even for the time that I can begin to pack up my current apartment, but it is still too early. I have made the mistake of packing up way ahead of time, when there still is weeks of living left to do in the place being moved from. You end up with a huge mess of boxes and complete disarray, usually packing things that need to used, so the boxes are opened and closed more than once. It just doesn't work for a nitpicky neat freak like me. However, knowing that I am leaving here takes away the interest in keeping it looking perfect, like usual. So now, I am living in a bit of a mess, unhappy of course, that I am. Yes---I am aware that is screwed up, no need to tell me. And frankly, I have little energy or ability right now to do much about any of it, anyway. I worry about how I am possibly going to get ready to move in the first place, in general I am useless. But I also know that things have a way of working out. So...I flow along, in my la-la land type of fog. It will get done---somehow.
I cannot turn my head this morning. In general I have constant neck pain but holy french toast, this morning--it's bad. Blenheim.
I saw my doc yesterday....the wheels are in motion to have the spinal stimulator implanted. There are many things that need to be done first...so it will take awhile, including having a complete psych workup, to make sure i am a good candidate. I am not looking forward to any of it, but like has been said here alot recently, I give. SOMETHING has to be done. So---begin, I will.
Saturday! I love Saturday. I have no idea what the day holds in store for me, but I do know that I am going to make dinner this evening and I have to make a birthday cake for Mark. Yep --- he's another year older tomorrow!
You all have a wonderful day today. And that's an order! :)