Wednesday, March 30, 2011

DO NOT OPEN...not that you could, anyway

I am so full. I just had dinner - roasted chicken, ala Target', and cooked cabbage, ala Jamie'. Yes, yes--I know you hate cooked cabbage. I'm sorry you do - but I love it. Yep, I also know that only mu-mu wearing old grandma's that keep a kleenex tucked in their bra make and eat it, but hey - I am a grandma, without the mu-mu, kleenex - or bra (LOL just kidding). Sorry. I LOVE it. And I have to say, it's wonderful to cook and eat any damned thing I want to. teeheehee...

Crazy day on the job. Crazy whole week, really. It's funny in this business, you never know what the day will bring. This week brought car deals, several...and really crazy customers. I like it. Some days I want to choke them, many days they are just plain funny.

I started the day with an ironing board - (new) that hangs on the back of my bathroom door - and a pair of black pants that go with the suit I wanted to wear, that had wrinkles. So naturally - I thought ironing would be the way to go. Twenty minutes and two owies later, I realized that I could not open the new ironing board. There is a little lever at the base, that is supposed to just pop open when pressed. Um huh, yeah...my fingers are not strong enough. I went to work with wrinkled pants and a blog post in my head about how things just plain, effin', do not OPEN any more. Not ironing boards, bottles, cd's, movies, medications, soda's, beer bottles, or any damned thing. NOTHING FREAKING WILL OPEN anymore. NOTHING. I fight with nearly everything I bring into my humble abode. Am I too old? Are things packaged so differently these days? Is it the cabbage? WHY can't I open stuff? Am I the only one? Plastic here, plastic there....bottles encased all the way around in it...lids that are so freakin sealed that I have to get a muscle man to open it? WTH??? Seriously...I want to know. Do YOU struggle to open things? Or am I just too freakin' old and feeble to take care of myself these days? Answer me, please.

Happy Sucky Thursday tomorrow. I'm gone.  :)

5 comments:

JY said...

LOL when i read this. It's NOT only you.. I have those days too. It's like wth...! Enjoy your day!

Anonymous said...

I admire people like you who sometimes question but ultimatly accept reality. See, I will not allow 'anyone' to call me grandpa. I mean I didn't chose to be one, I had nothing to do with
it..it isn't fair that I have crossed the 'g word' threshold in life unconsulted.

Josie said...

You wrote this tale well, speaking for both of us. I can't get anything open either, just don't have the strength or dexterity in my hands, though I can type at a keyboard for hours... go figure! i get so angry and frustrated in my attempts to circumvent the plastic wrapping and safety sheilds that I've been known to throw things across the floor in defeat. Thankfully I have a caring husband with a handy pocket knife that comes to my rescue. Ironing board? I try not to use mine more than once or twice a year! :-)) And hey, I LOVE cooked cabbage, so I guess that makes me an old granny too! And proud of it! :-)

Mary said...

Like cooked cabbage? Then you'd fit perfectly in this family. Even the grandchildren request that I cook cabbage once in a while.

If I didn't have someone to open "stuff" for me I'd really be in a pickle. "Push and Turn," "Squeeze and Turn" not to mention other packaging have become the bain of my existance.

Cheryl said...

I can open most things. I have a hard time with pinch and twist tops. Well, that and the twist tops for pump bottles of lotions. Sometimes those tops just spin and spin.

Loved your post. Loved your comment on my blog. Thank you.