Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Answers

Finally, I have some answers to medical questions. Not that I am happy with the answers, but at least there are answers. Besides having severe degenerative spine disease, which I have known about for the past few years, I have fibromyalgia. Which I have never been diagnosed with. And I have sjogrens disease. Which I suspected I had, my mother had it, but I have also never been told that I have. The answers were all there in the gazillion blood tests that I had done...and so now....I have to start on a new course of treatment to try and reclaim my life. I was left feeling a little shell-shocked and blue yesterday, but realized at the same time that I am no different today than I was yesterday, it merely has a name. But, now there are new appointments for tests, new appointments for doctors, new appointments that I don't have the time for or the energy to complete. Bleh. I go the the doctors asking them to help, and get pissed when I have to go for other appointments, but come one. You get on this merry-go-round of BS and can't get off. None of these problems will kill me...they will just make me miserable enough to want to die. That's how I see it. I just want my quality of life to be a bit better, I am not asking for miracles here. In order to accomplish this...off to more tests, doctors, new medications...

Just shoot me now. Put me out of my misery.

Gah.

6 comments:

Mary said...

Having a name for your illness is a step towards a better life. I know how rocky the road can be and how high the mountain looks. I'll be thinking of you and, as usual, you are in my prayers.

Golden To Silver Val said...

Yep, at least now you know the name of your enemy (enemies). I'm optimistic that you will be feeling lots better as they will now know what kind of meds to give you. You're always in my thoughts and prayers, dear friend. Find a bright side to this and concentrate on that....it will help. Big hugs and much love. Charlotte xo

Leann said...

Another good thing about having a name is the help you can give. Not only medically but by the state and government.

You have to hang in there for your grandchild and your children. They need you. You are their foundation. I know it is difficult but hang in there my dear. Be brave and be strong. Know there are those of us who are here for you always. We may not be there in person, but we most certainly are in spirit, motivation, and caring.

Hugs to you and be blessed.

Lena said...

Oh dear, so much to cope with. I hope they can give you meds that will help you feel much better!

You need time to soak it all in and then you will find the energy to do what you must to get better. You are a fighter, that I am sure of.

Gypsy said...

It's always a bitter sweet moment when a name is given to your suffering. On the one hand it's good that you know what you are dealing with and it's no longer a faceless enemy. On the other, it sucks that you have to face the fact these things are there to be fought and beaten. I know what it's like to not feel you have the energy to fight but you know you have the strength inside you Jamie. You do and you will come out fighting like you always have.

Much love and hugs dear lady.

Moohaa said...

I am glad you have answers. It is a vindication of sorts, though the addition of tests and more dumb ass doc visits sucks major.

How's that for succinct sympathy?

I'm here for you.

In a way, I'm glad for you. You can get out there and get help. I wish I could. But then I hate doctors, so maybe not. ;)