Soap Opera, Anyone?

Yesterday, I found out that my stepmother died. IN OCTOBER. I just happened to be on the internet and ran across her obituary. No, I was not notified. Should I have been? I guess I can't say, not truthfully, anyway. Her sister did try to call me, but I have moved and she called the old phone number at the house. I was upset..for so, SO many reasons. Let me try and fill you in...

This woman has been my stepmother since I was eight years old. (That's alot of years.) I know for a fact that she resented me all my life, but I could never really blame her, as being married to my dad was no picnic, and that has to be the understatement of the century. She did try with me, and I loved her. After I grew up, she was a wonderful grandmother to my kids..they worshipped the ground she walked on. She was the kind of grandma that every kid wants---the kind that will get out and play with you...isn't afraid to get dirty, exert herself..whatever. In the poor times of my life, had it not been for Dorothy, my kids would have been naked. She was wonderful to them, and to me, in what she did for them.

You all remember that my dad died on January 1st, 2005. During his illness, I realized that Dorthy's mind was going, and at that time, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease. While my dad was sick, she tried to hold it together, but after he died, she let it all hang out and just plain HATED me. I am sure that is because of her illness, but it hurt me, nonetheless. We did not speak to one another the last three years of her life. In fact, she did not speak to many of her friends, or to alot of her family...she had become paranoid and believed that so many of us were out to get her. She did befriend a few people that she has always found distasteful before she lost her mind...a woman that my dad had a long-term affair with became her "best friend", and a cousin of mine became her main family. Dorothy knew about the affair with Kathy, and of course to say that she disliked her is also a huge understatement...but that is who she put her trust in, once she became ill. As far as my cousin goes, she was one of her least favorite people on the planet, too. She also still talked to her own nieces and nephews, and I think there are three of them. It saddens me to think that she died so lonely...and I seriously mean that. She was a good woman, before she became sick, and my heart aches to think that she had no one around her that loved her for HER, instead of what she could do for them. But she had managed to push everyone that honestly cared about her away.

My father died without a will. He was in the process of tying up the loose ends in that area when he died. That is his fault, and I know that. I was his only child. Dorothy had no children, ever. Once my dad died, the estate became hers, as it should have. Now that she is gone, there are apparently several wills, all of which were drawn up after she became ill. The entire estate is apparently going to my cousin in one of them. In the others..it's mixed up between my cousin and her nieces and nephews. My father would literally explode if he knew this. However, this could have been prevented, had he just taken care of his own business. To say that this upsets me would also be a huge understatement. To tell you all that it's not about the money would not be believable, by most of you. But it isn't...not entirely. There are THINGS that I want so badly that belonged to my dad...a photograph of him and Dale Earnhardt, and antique chair that belonged to my GREAT grandmother...other sentimental things. Then, there is the money. And I can't deny that I believe that HALF of that million-dollar estate should be mine. Yes, I do feel that it should, if you all think I am acting like a money-grubbing snot, I apologize. I did not know until recently, the sense of family...the sense of entitlement that goes along with losing a parent. My father worked hard all of his life, for what he owned. Dorothy did too---I am not saying that it wasn't hers to give. However, I know what my dad wanted, and he wanted me to have it, he told me. But, he did not take care of his end of it. And I have no legal leg to stand on. None, whatsoever. And that really, really upsets me. I am doing my best to let it go. I knew when he died with no will that this would end up happening...but I really thought that it would all go to HER family, and that at least made sense in my head. Her sisters, her nieces and nephews. But for the bulk of it to go to my own cousin...his niece, when he had a daughter is like the biggest slap in the face. He had no use for my cousin...never in his life. He knew the kind of person she was, he had her pegged for a "user" long ago. I guess he was right. Unfortunately, she feels that I have no right to any of it, not even the things that I would like to have. So, I just let it go, right? I'm working on it....

Where's the tylenol?