Sunday, November 16, 2008

How is this possible?

How is is possible that I can be FIFTY minus two and not know what the hell I am doing with my life?

How is it possible that I can be in this financial mess that I have gotten myself into at this age?

How is it possible that I can be the age I am and still feel like an orphan with no parents left on this earth?

How is it possible that I can't make even a small decision these days, and I used to make GIANT decisions every day of my adult life?

How is it possible that I break into tears at anything lately, or even nothing?

How is it even remotely possible that I can go on this way?

How is any of this possible?


Summer said...

You poor baby. I understand more than you know. You so need a break from life. The only thing I can suggest is to circle the wagons and spend some time taking care of you so you can get stronger. Only YOU today.

Summer said...


i forgot my password whaaaaa said...

maybe just because there is somebody out there , maybe not even right now-- who will someday, draw enough strength from your experience, to get through their own storm.
just a theory. but i have seen it happen.
and i know people love you. and i know people support you. and i know it's not "fluff"

that's how it's possible-- because-- your "successes " change lives-- right here in front of all of us.
you always come out on the other side-- better than before--- always giving GOD credit for bringing you there.
that in itself is powerful to many many people that you don't even know.
do you need another charlotte to come out of the woodwork-- so you can see for yourself?
you know as well as i do-- if this life were all fun and games-- no one would learn or try or struggle or give.

it would be a very selfish world if there were no pain and loss.
i agree--- for many -- for very many-- there should be less of all of that-- but from those-- are where people gain the most most faith.

at least i think so.

btw-- i am lookin for youuuuuuu


ps-- i canot remember my password!!! i'm on try number 9 -- wth--

Romany Angel said...

Sweet have had a horrendous year and I think you are just getting to the point where you can't take anymore. All of those things will get back to normal once you have had time to adjust to the onslaught that has been raining down on you lately. Your grief, your pain, troubles with the kids, finances, employment and probably a whole lot more we don't even know goodness, just seeing it in writing is enough to send most people over the edge.

Give in to it Jamie...the world won't end for everyone if just this once you can't fix it.

ac said...

I heart you and I'm so sorry you are having a rough time right now. Would it help to know that you are admired beyond all reason by someone in Floreeduh who doesn't have a fraction of the will power, perseverance, compassion, wisdom, humor, honor, and integrity that you do? :) I like what 'forgot my password' said. Listen to her. Hugs! ac

Golden To Silver Val said...

This, too, shall pass. In due time. Your strength is amazing...don't question it. "Forgot my password" has said it all and said it well. Much love coming your way from so many sources. Are you relaxing? Don't forget to take care of YOU. Love and Hugs, Charlotte.

Raine said...

You have much to grieve this year. It will take time and its normal to be depressed when you have been thru so much (((((((Jamie))))

Cheryl said...

One day you'll look back through this awful time in your life and wonder in amazement how you got through it. But you will. You have to stay strong and know that you'll come out of this. You will. We believe in you, even when you don't. Think about yourself first, if you possibly can. You really can't fix anyone else.

Amanda said...


desert dirt diva said...

you will be o.k. give yourself time, and a hug...