Tuesday, October 14, 2008


Hey all - I am sorry that I haven't even been around to see you at your own places, it has just been so busy in my life lately, and when I am here, I am so damned tired that all I do is lay my large ass down. I do apologize, as I miss each of you and think of all of you daily. One thing is for sure though, when you aren't blogging and reading blogs all day, there is a whole lot of extra time to fill with other fun things such as cleaning, laundry, studying for work...ugh. Blogging is waaaay more fun!

There are many things that I need to catch you all up on, but no time now. I have to head down to see my mom once again this morning, she is maybe having a relapse? We are not sure yet. I DO know that she is having a hard time carrying on with her life now, it seems that she is just plain ready to go, and won't take no for an answer. Her timing however, is not the one that matters and for whatever reason, she waits. It's hugely sad and heartbreaking to see her now, she is sad and sick and just waiting.

I will write soon, I promise. We all made it to Vegas and home again, and we even managed to have some fun. My job is once again questionable, I think I am losing my damned mind. My kids are all alive and breathing; some days, that's the best we can hope for. Hugs. :)


Terri said...

wow! Every few days I just hit on your link from my blogroll and hope against hope you are here and what do you know - a post today! hallelujah - we missed you!

Tell me all about Vegas in your non existent time to blog, I'm going in 28 days and can't wait.

Sorry to hear things aren't going so well with mom, I'm glad she's still here tho. I was afraid your next post was going to be the worst news.

I'll look for your next post faithfully!

Gypsy said...

Like Terri I was expecting bad news. I just lost my Nanna two days ago. She lives in England and my mum was on her way there when she passed. She was more than ready to go so I am happy for her because finally she is at peace and no longer in pain. It was what she wanted but it's not easy for those who have to watch.

Big hugs and I'm thrilled you all had a good time in Vegas.

SOUL: said...

hiya pal. so good to see a post up heah !!
i know, not the greatest of news, but it is news ... and always good to see you, ya know.
i've missed talkin with ya-- but sure do understand-- life. what else is there to say about that. right?

anyhow. i hate that you are going through the pain of watchin your mom be sick. it was a lot like that with my dad. he would look so close to the edge for a couple days-- the voila-- he'd be up and walking or talking for a couple-- then boom, back in bed. went on for a few months. and definitely not an easy thing to go through. by the time he finally let go-- we knew that he had only been holding on for those who loved him. when his heart was at peace with his family, he knew he could go and that we would be ok. and we have been.
he left us all a strength that we never had before--
i hate to say this, but once your mom knows that those who love her don't want her to suffer anymore, she will find the strength she needs to let go, and end the pain that she only endures because she loves YOU.
let her know , it's ok to not hurt anymore. she will never leave you. she will only leave a body that doesn't allow her to be who she needs to be.

holy crap-- got carried away. but you know, i have sat in that same chair, next to that same bed, struggled with those same feelings.
there came a time-- it was time to just let go.

as a mom-- you know-- we have to learn to let go in life sometimes too. and i'll be damned if we somehow don't learn to feel a little bit of freedom in that--- on occasion.

love ya J..
you know that-

Brad said...

Hey Sweets!
So glad to see your post - made my little heart go pitter-pat- sorry things aren't going better. Not much news to report here - life goes on...Keep in touch!


Golden To Silver Val said...

OMG I have missed you soooo much. I'm sad to hear that mom is getting worse; I know how hard that is on you and your family. Happy to hear you did have some fun in Vegas and perhaps released some stress from your life.
We're all here waiting for you to return when you feel that you can...no pressure...just take your time and know that we all love you.
Big hugs and prayers of strength coming your way. Hugs, Charlotte


you made my day seeing the updated post--even though it's not good news..I think about your challenges daily (along with many other blogging buddies) and hope that you have some peace soon--I hope that everyone around you feels that..

Sorry to hear about your mom though,..but am glad you had some time to get away from it all and BET IT ALL! Did you win any? :)


fiwa said...

I'm sorry to hear about your mama. I'll be thinking about you and sending my prayers.

Thank you for updating us - I'm glad to know you are ok and that your vegas trip went ahead as planned.

Take care of you and don't worry about visiting us - just put up a post every now and then to let us know you're still around, ok?

love and hugs -

Kelly Jene said...

What a treat to hear from you! Thank you for thinking us during your hectic days. I'm sorry your mom isn't well. I hope she improves quickly. I haven't been blogging much either... it's easy to get caught up in life... even when we don't want to.

Love you!

Raine said...

Well well well, Welcome back!!!

Cheryl said...

I'm so behind in reading, but I'm stopping here, for sure. I miss you and I'm so glad you updated. Please come back for a HI whenever you can, OK?

superjanel said...

omg you posted! yay! :)