Monday, July 14, 2008

The most doable Monday

Another Monday begins, in a world where there seems to be too many Monday's and not enough Friday's.

I am on the fence this morning, wavering between stupidly hopeful and hopelessly despondent. So many worrisome problems for those I love, too few answers. Yet in the midst, I find myself feeling sure that it will all be okay...no wonder my ex called me PollyAnna. Is that frustrating to live with, hard to be around? I have always thought that finding the positive while living on Planet Negative is refreshing, helpful, an oasis of hope in the sea of despair. Perhaps I HAVE been wrong all these years. Perhaps I do merely piss off those I love. Ahh...too much to ponder at such an early hour.

I can't say I feel foolishly hopeful about my latest undertaking, this test is getting the best of me. Time is running out and there is no way I am going to make it. I still have today. I will make the best possible use of my time, no worries there. But I am not what I once was and that stings.

I am in pain. I am so damned tired of it. I have sought the advice of those that know, I have the pills that are supposed to help, I try to do what I'm told and take good care of myself, but none of it makes a difference. It's getting to me, I have to admit.

And so now, as usual, I want to wish you all the best possible day. That sounds rather trite however, after the above paragraphs, so allow me to merely wish you all the most doable version of this Monday.

12 comments:

jyankee said...

well. we can only do what we can.. no more no less... don't despair... we can only be realistic! who knows...you might just surprise yourself....

SOUL: said...

there ya go-
yankee sure has become quite the wise one in blogland eh?
she said it better than i guess i could have-

anyhow---
i do know you'll be fine-- and do fine.
you really don't give yourself enough credit. you know.

good luck with the studying, and prayers for you tomorrow with the test.
(and as always, for the pain to stop-or at least to lessen)

ox

Gypsy said...

Good luck with the test Jamie. I'm sure you will do much better than you think but all you can do is your best. You always give all that you have in whatever you undertake so I have lots of faith you'll do well.

ac said...

You always surprise me, so it wouldn't surprise me if you do way better on this test than you think. I'll be thinking about you and rooting for you! ac

abbagirl74 said...

(((((HUGS)))))

Hang in there girlie!

Portia said...

I think everyone needs a Pollyanna to smile and cheer them on when things get rough. Even if some eyes roll, everyone appreciates being believed in, and the fact that SOMEONE has faith that things will be okay. I hope you find that same faith in your own situation, and the day brings some relief from the pain.

Brad said...

Good luck on the test sweets. I'm sure you'll do just fine.

Amanda said...

(((((((((((Jamie)))))))))))

Nothing wrong with being PollyAnna. Just as necessary as everything else. Especially if dealing with chronic pain.

And yes, everything works out in the end, at least that's what they tell me.

Mary said...

I'll be thinking of you today - I wish I could do more. I really appreciate your can-do attitude. I need to take a lesson from you.

Don't beat yourself up over this test. I know it's almost impossible to concentrate when you're in pain but I'm betting you'll do just fine come test time.

Ya know, I've found that Monday's just suck - makes no difference if you're retired.

Cheryl said...

You will be fine. I'm sure of that.

Kelly Jene said...

Ah hon, I hear you on the pain. And if you don't keep some sort of positive outlook on life, then what's the point? I'm praying for you right now.

desert dirt diva said...

i do wish you the best of luck on your test.. you will DO good.. hope your minday was good