Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Arm wrestling, anyone?

I am out of coffee filters. I was out of coffee filters yesterday, and guess what? They did not magically appear anywhere in my house when I was not home. I think you have to go buy coffee filters if you want more. The mere fact that I have none in the house is not a catastrophic problem, or wouldn't be, if I were not already falling apart. But this morning, having no coffee filters in the house made me cry. Strangely enough, not having them did not prevent me from having coffee, as my pot actually has a built in filter, and I only use the paper kind not to have to clean that damned basket of coffee grounds every day. But the fact that I hadn't given it a thought all day long yesterday reduced me to tears, in my own kitchen, at three am. And this is just more proof friends, that I am a complete whack job. As if any of us needed more proof.

I am officially to join the ranks of the unemployed in a couple of weeks, I spoke with BJ yesterday and delivered the news. I also gave him a recommendation on a replacement for me, someone that works there already, and who I feel is easily trainable. Well, somewhat easily trainable, as NO ONE is when it comes to GM accounting. But she already gets the whole idea of the business and that is more than half the battle. I am not certain yet that he will listen to what I think, as he really, really, REALLY doesn't like me, and after our conversation yesterday, he now has even more reason to feel that way. He was visibly upset with me, although wouldn't say that, when I asked him why he was so mad. He of course, argued that he wasn't...okay, I guess I didn't really see the steam coming out of your ears there, buddy. I know this is only the third day of the new regime, but having to watch what is happening to my place is excruciatingly painful. Please excuse my language but the current word that comes to mind is clusterfuck- the whole place has turned into a huge clusterfuck. No one has any idea what's happening, no one makes any decisions, no one knows who to ask for said decisions, and who loses? The customers of course.

I actually watched a customer be strong armed yesterday, into buying a car she could not afford, and a payment that was hugely different than the one she wanted. Which I know happens everyday in our business. No one wants a payment over $250, and that is not realistic. Everyone leaves with a payment closer to $400 or more, and if they really want to buy a car, then they have to come to grips with reality. But this is not what happened yesterday, this is not what I mean when I say strong armed. This was done deceitfully, things were not disclosed, and when she complained and wanted to leave, they brought in the big boys. That has never happened in my place, and seriously, I couldn't believe my eyes. If you don't want to really buy a car, do not stop into this place of business, as you will not leave without one. Yep, this is happening all over the country -- it is the way of the business now. I get that. I just don't have to be a part of it. And in a small town like ours, I wish them the best of luck. There is not enough population to keep new folks coming in, and repeat business will now be a thing of the past. Whatever, BJ Darling, whatever.

So, I came home last night, had a couple of brown bottles, and went job hunting on line. Hmm..I am now wondering who I applied to, and I only had two! I am not sure that semi-drunk job hunting is in my best interest, particularly when I am pissed off at the current job. This morning, I woke up knowing that I am no where near ready for that, mentally or otherwise. I am completely unprepared for the mental aspect of job hunting, and I had better get with it. I will not be able to draw unemployment, as HE already told me no way...not if I quit. Asshole.

So, today I get to go back to the place that has been my whole life for so many years...the place that now feels like a prison...the place where even as recently as a week ago, everyone there felt like my family...the place where I am now treated like the idiot child. I don't know how much longer I can take this. And yet, I will not back out on my promise, or on the person that I love and will now have to train to do my job. Heaven help me. Later.


JYankee said...

is i first again! gosh...2 days running...."clusterfuck" good work..i will use that for where i work now too...because you hit several nails on the head...the samey same is happening in my office...all under the pretense of "going public" ass...well..have a nice day...try anyways..and quitting? you will be glad you got out when you did...

SOUL: said...

man, am i a slacker or what? seems i'm never first around here anymore. (*POUT*) -- sorry. you know i love ya-- i just can't come out of this damn coma!!!

anyhow--- remember when we talked about that broken shoe-string??? the coffe filter was it. and it will be ok.
just for future reference--- i have had to improvise a LOT-- in many ways when it comes to everyday househole items-- coffee filters being one of them.. luckily-- you had the basket-- but i still understand your frustration... but in case it happens again... paper towel babay! (and just a bit extra coffee) -- or-- did you know that a coffee filter can be re - used at least 4-5 times.. rinse - use- repeat. now , that's poverty babe. :))but whatever works.

as for BJ-- you said it-- F- him. he has zero respect for you-- obviously-- you owe HIM nothing. i say get out while you're ahead. put in your EIGHT hours.. and get the hell out. don't go one extra inch for that guy. he wouldn't for you-- and he will get what's comin to him. that is already obvious.

as for the car deal you described... some of those places are pretty good at that type of thing... no matter how tough the buyer tries or thinks they are-- they still leave with a deal they swore they wouldn't dare consider-- prime example? ME! i even stood up and said no thanks..attempted to leave saying i'll just keep MY car... hubby panicked cuz he knew MY car wasn't gonnna last another 5,000 miles. AND the check we had in hand expired THAT day. soooo.... we had to take their deal-- we got better their best--- but not the best we planned on. (and now i can't even drive it :(( -- you knew i'd throw that in)

anyhow-- it'll get better--- it may take some time-- but it will get better.

try to have a good day today-- your life is not your job--- at least not THIS one. something better is out there for you-- i know it.
and you know-- i know things :))


Gypsy said...

Darling girl, you have to know you've done the right thing. You have high principles and ethics and it will tear you apart to work for an asshole like that. Sweet Baby Jesus....I hope your little town has his ass on toast for breakfast. Word will travel, mark my words, and that dealership will be in someone elses hands in no time flat.

I agree with Soul. Do only the required hours and give him nothing else. You don't owe him a thing.

I know job hunting can be a soul destroying task but I will lay my bottom dollar that you won't be sorry you pulled the pin on that place.

The soul has gone out of it now, it's not your life anymore. Do what's right for you and I guarantee you won't regret it. It's the end of an era Jamie and that is always hard to come to terms with but you are a strong and determined woman and I have great faith in your ability to bounce back. Good luck honey and thanks for checking in on me especially in light of what I've just read. That just confirms what I already knew....your blood's worth bottling my lovely friend.

Josie Two Shoes said...

Good for you on giving notice, Jamie! I know what a scary decision that is, I am facing the same at the end of April. Job hunting at this stage of our lives, when we have almost been an institution at the old place, is a tough one to face. I am still trying to get myself psyched up for it too. But I do believe that in both our cases we will end up being so much happier in the workplace and hopefully you will find the perfect job that doesn't consume your whole life and where you feel valued again. I'll be praying for you. We can do this!! If the new butthead continues to be nasty, call in sick - a lot - for the next two weeks. What can he do, fire you?!

Trav (big sis) said...

was great to talk to you this am
but I must admit after our talk and
the blog I am struggling with some
very specific NON CHRIST LIKE
feelings!!!! Nobody puts my "baby"
I mean sister in a corner!!!! I am
praying for you to finish "strong"-
You can do it - I have seen it before. Take care of Bill and
Misty. I love you - Trav

Golden To Silver Val said...

Reading Josie's comment gave me a wicked idea. If you haven't given your notice yet...maybe you should just stay and wait for him to 'lay you off' or fire you...THEN you'd get unemployment. *evil snicker*.

ac said...

My heart aches for you having to do this thing that's eating you up inside. When it's over come South.... where it's warm. Take a break. Go to Texas and visit Soul... or come to Floreeduh where it's WARM. Thinking of you today. ac

fiwa said...

That is why I will never buy a new car! I can't believe dealerships stoop to tactics like that.

And I am so ashamed of my goodie-goodie advice I gave you last week. You were so sweet not to tell me to just SHOVE IT!

It sounds like you've made the right decision to get out, and I admire and respect you for staying until you can train the next person.

I'm counting down the days with you.


Pen and the Sword said...

I am sorry to hear about your boss being such a turd. I would apply for unemployment anyway. What have you got to lose?

Andrew said...

I am thinking of ya going through this. Big change is always hard. And I thought going to work at McDonalds was going to be tough. I had no idea. Take care of yourself and good luck on finding a job that suits you. I imagine you doing well anywhere you go.

Robert said...

you have unbelievable amounts of patience and self control. So sorry to read what you have to endure from a place that has been until now such an important and positive part of your life. Sounds like you have a fantastic apprentice ready to take over. I hope you find it none to hard to discover a new job and all the adjustments involved.

Maria said...

One foot in front of the other! And, the few times that I have purchased a car and strong armed, I just left. Just. Like. That. If everyone did that, they wouldn't be able to get away with that.

Ah..I hope things get better for you!

Cheryl said...

You did it! Took the reins and gave notice! Now you can move on to the next phase, whatever that might be. Do you think you can stay there for two more weeks? That's going to be hard, hopefully not impossible. Good job, Jamie!

Mary said...

Jamie, I'm in a bit of a rush and haven't time to read other's comments but - you know me - I have a comment for everything.

If BJ is angry with you again ask him if he'd rather you leave immediately. If he says yes, then he asked you to leave and unemployment is yours. At lest that's how it would work here. (You might check with someone in the know about this.)

OR Apply for unemployment and when they ask you why you left tell them about the strong arm deal and deceit that you are afraid is illegal.

Whatever happens remember you are doing what's right for you.

Kelly Jene said...

I couldn't be happier about you leaving that "cf". Grr. I hope someone buys you coffee filters so tomorrow is a better day. Crying is good, and I highly doubt it was all about the coffee. Keep getting it out.

Rebecca said...

Wow. This guy sounds like a real winner. But you know, Karma can be a real bitch. He'll get his. What a shame to take a good business that has served the community well, and turn it into a predator. Geez. Leave that hell hole on your own terms. You don't need to put in a bazillion hours a day. If he gave you an end date, stick to it so that you CAN collect unemployment. One more way to stick it to him, as you know, his unemployment insurance premiums will go up as soon as you do start to collect. And while I know first hand that unemployment is not enough to pay the bills with, allow yourself a week or two off. You NEED to decompress. This has been such a long hard process. There's no way you can put your head or heart into another job before you completely grieve and rid yourself of this one.

Hang in there, Jamie.