A little Catch Up

So yesterday was quite the day...and I must admit that Thursday had me in an uproar, also. What will Saturday bring?

On Thursday, I went to work with the best of intentions and literally had to sit down on my rear end on the showroom floor about late morning, my legs would no longer hold me up. H drove me home and I did all the work I could from here, but it's hard to do much without the benefit of the computer system. If I find I have to work very much from here, I am going to have to get plugged in. I would have already but it seemed to be wasted energy and time due to the pending sale. Yesterday, I went in and all hell had broken loose---you all know my favorite saying "letting the inmates run the asylum", well, it certainly fits in this case. I will spare you the details, but suffice it to say, I had three employees who didn't seem to understand that they were supposed to be at work on time on that particular Friday morning.

Once I had a full staff at work, and my blood had quit boiling, and I had personally seen to it that all customers had been taken care of, I made sure that EVERYONE in that place understood that just because my body is not working the way I want it to right now, does NOT mean there is one damned thing wrong with my mind or my mouth, and if any one of them values their jobs, they will NOT behave in the same manner as they had that morning. I put one on 90 day probation, and told the owner that i would not fire him, because frankly, i do not have the time or energy to cover for him while i try to find his replacement, even though that is what the owner really wanted me to do. In all honesty, i do believe the empoyee deserves another chance. Maybe I am getting too soft in my old age, but I do think he does. So, it was a tense day at work, for everyone. I made sure of it. But, I will not put up with that shit, I have worked too hard to build our reputation of service to have it torn down that way. I expect people to act like adults and most cannot do it, in the absence of the leader. I know that each of you will now say that the owner should step in, and you would be right, but that is not he dynamic here- and truly, if it were, then we would have issues between he and I, because when have two people always agreed? He lets me handle the problems because that's the way I want it, not because he's lazy, although I'm sure it's easier for him this way. So, when I say that I am not taking care of things the way that I should, this is what I' talking about. I am doing the very best that I can, and it just isn't good enough.

Which led me to the discussion that I had next with the owner. And I flat out asked him what he wanted me to do---I told him I knew I was not doing a good job, and that was hard for me to live with. He replied that he was well aware that I was doing the very best I can do right now, and he felt that my problems are temporary, and even if they are not, then we would deal with that later. He said he knew that he "was not taking care of things up to my expectations" with a smile, and said----"we will all get through this. Everyone is doing all that we can without you around. You are getting your important work done. It's good enough for me. Stop being so hard on yourself, do what you can do, keep us both out of jail, I will do the important stuff here, and we will get by." I asked him what if my problems aren't temporary, and by now I was crying and I HATE when I cry, I do the ugly cry thing, good thing I have known him for a long time, because NO ONE sees me cry the ugly cry----and I asked him if he was just biding his time until the sale, and he replied he had no idea if the place is selling or not, that the man that is interested has not even talked price with him yet, although he has talked of submitting paperwork to GM for approval. And he said, and this is a big one for owner because he is usually quite self absorbed..."what are you going to do? Lay down, give up? I don't think that's right for YOU. There is nothing wrong with your mind. You are too talented to start thinking that way. If we have to accommodate for you in other ways, we will. I am not going to let you give in, so stop thinking about it, and this has nothing to do with the business or me. We have been friends for too long for me to let you start that shit." And that was the end of the conversation. And while this changes nothing, it is nice to think that he may understand a little more than I gave him credit for. I worry that he is getting tired of all of it, and certainly he is. I am too---but he does understand that it is out of my control, and is willing to wait and see.

So, that catches you up on my week. Today, I am going to do it all over again. Yesterday, I worked all day on a project and got absolutely NOWHERE. Today, I am going to go right back at it. It is so messed up. New employees make for messes in the accounting. I am and have been in a huge amount of pain but am managing to stay away from the pills until i get home at night so that my head can stay somewhat clear. This evening, I am having dinner with my sons and GF in Des Moines. That will be fun. I will be happy to be home tomorrow. Have a great Saturday!