Sunday, July 01, 2007

Pardon me boy...

The first of another month. It seems that my own life is slipping right by me, and although i am obviously there to take part in it, I cannot keep up with the passage of time. Does that make any sense to you? Good Lord, I am now asking questions to no one in particular....but if I were to ask anyone in my life, they would have no understanding of what the hell I am talking about.

I probably ought to warn you readers...I have no idea what i am going to post about today, there are many things on my mind this morning...it could get kind of ugly.

I was not here at all yesterday, as expected H and I went out on Friday evening, had a good time, it was very late (or should I say very early) when we got home. I got up for work, but man...I was feeling it. I know, I know I should have more sense than that, it had already been a hard week, and i was already exhausted, but i put my favorite old saying in place "I can sleep when I'm dead"....and carried on. Owner called, I was getting ready to get ready to go....he said for me to take the day off...I thought that was quite nice of him...he knew the week had been hard on me, and he had not been around alot of the week, said he had things under control. I was quite grateful, and i went back to bed. H was off yesterday as well, and he was still in bed. We woke up again at one in the afternoon, I got up and made chicken strips for breakfast, then we went back to bed, watched a really bad movie, and I woke up later after four pm. I have not done anything like that for years! I never did get dressed yesterday! In any event, I was as lazy as lazy can be. H and I had a very good day, and that is a rarity, as well. Until last evening, and i have literally no idea what happened. He got really assy, but whatever the deal, it was his. Nothing had occurred----and this is why I am bad at relationships. I get tired of the mind games, the bullshit. If you have a problem, just frickin' say so. I swear, I will not be married forever. I am so very tired of the crap. I would be good at being alone----the couple thing is JUST NOT WORTH IT.There was no fight, there was no exchange of any kind of negative, he just got moody and crabby and ugly----YS had stopped in to bring back the vacuum that he had borrowed, he was here for maybe fifteen minutes, I suppose it had something to do with him, but if I ask you what the deal is, and you choose to tell me nothing, then i won't ask again. Damn, why can't one whole day go well? Maybe I ask too much. There has been so little time between the two of us recently, and apparently we do better when we don't get the opportunity to be together. I am not meant to be married anymore, really. I cannot handle the bullshit any longer.

This day will be good-I really have alot to do, especially after doing nothing yesterday. I don't know if I am in the mood, I am waiting for the spirit to move me. That could be a long wait. My race will be on, and I have a book calling my name. H has to work all day. I think that OS will be here at some point, I am the cheapest Laundromat he knows. :) Have a wonderful Sunday! Out.

10 comments:

JYankee said...

Hey, I know what ya mean. I don't like mind games and that kinda crap either. If ya have something on your mind, just say it already! My hubby is kinda like that too.. most of the time docile, but can get into one those "moods". But by now, I have decided that I just don't need to know, one of those "too much information"! type things and just let it blow over. Is it a man thing? And they say women are moody! Maybe they're PMSing all the time??? Anyways, hope you have a good today!

CCC said...

Simon, girl...been there done that with the marriage thing. Peaks and valleys. You'll have good days and bad. I've learned for *me* that I'm better off not being married. Even though something inside me craves the *tradition* of it. Men can be strange, sorry sacks of...y'know. Frustrating. Difficult to deal with. All that shit. I'm not sure marriage works very well in this day and age. Our mothers put up with a lot of crap...which we do not put up with in the present day.

I hope you have a better day....

Beth said...

Happy july!

I hate mind games too...just say it already!! I hate the silent treatment too..if you have a problem with me, just tell me...if I feel like it, I might apologize..unless it's your fault!

Amanda said...

I wish I had some good thoughts to offer about the matter, but the truth is I've been a massive failure at it so far. Hope you'll have a great July month anyway.

PS. Wait a minute. I was sure I tagged you. (Can you say "sleep deprived?") Sorry about that. I added you.

Josie Two Shoes said...

Well, you KNOW I hear you on this post, Jamie. Been there, done that so many damn times I can't count them. You can be having this lovely day together, and enjoying it's rarity, and all of a sudden, it dissolves into shit, leaving you clueless, stunned, and defeated. I don't miss that crap at all! And yes Jyankee is right, men are FAR more moody than women, at least all of the ones I've known. YOu know what happened when I got to sick of walking on eggshells, or ignoring the fireworks just to keep peace - I left that a**. What's the point of having your heart torn up all the time? I feel for ya, kid I really do. Why do men think it's ok to dump their issues on us, when they can't even talk about what is bothering them, who declared wives human dartboards anyway? Glad you have this day to yourself, keep thinking on it. Being alone is a bit lonely at times, but hell.. it's PEACEFUL! I doubt I could ever trust a man again to not slip into butthead mode.

Maria said...

I'm with you. I have always been happiest living alone. It isn't meant as a slam to my partner. I am simply a pot that does not wish a lid.

I am very lucky in that Bing knows this and backs off easily, doesn't get too pushy with me. But, then this gets me feeling guilty. I sit around stewing thinking that she deserves better.

Ah...and around and around we go, yes?

SOUL: said...

holy crap ! i feel like i just walked in on a conversation that i am not a part of. *SIGH*

but if anyone wants to see the positive side... of course i left all the bad stuff out lol....you can see it on my blog for today. :)

ALL marriages don't suck... ALL the time.

hang tough jamie. i do know how ya feel. i have to say, i've been there too.. but knock on wood.. we get through it.

c ya

simonsays said...

Oh Soul, I don't want you to think that I feel that all marriages suck, mine doesn't SUCK, but some of us are more meant to be part of a couple than others....I am HAPPY that you are happy, you make me understand that it's possible. Some days, I am happy, too.

simonsays said...

Maria, I like your analogy-a pot without a lid.:)

SOUL: said...

jamie.. i know.
i hope you begin to have more GOOD days with hubby than bad. it's possible.
hope you feel better today