Sunday, October 01, 2006

No More Stairs!

Holy Hell, I hurt this morning. Up and down, up and down. Pack box and stack. Move box from here to there. Carry small things up, go back down for more. Shit, I am too old and unwell for any more, thankfully, there is no more. Poor Os and H along with friend, seemed ready to have the BIG one, heart attack, I mean. D is all in, and I mean ALL IN, there is so much of it. But she is moved. There are no more kids to move, at least none that i know of. And not right now. I didn't talk to D last night, I fell asleep too early, and woke up too late to call, but she was supposed to call me, and didn't. Not that I am surprised, I knew she wouldn't. I am not trying to drive her crazy, I was just worried about her in the new place alone the first night. It was a sad day as well as exhausting---but she was better when we left her in the new place. The whole thing SUCKS, have I mentioned that before?

I am sitting here eating stale LIFE (cereal)---How freakin' appropriate! Mine (LIFE) certainly has gone stale recently. Something has to change, and quickly. I am Unhappy with a capital U-and I am tired of it all. Never having been one to wait for changes to occur, I am ready to make SOMETHING happen, I just have no fucking idea what to do. I am not willing to sit here in smalltownsville, midwest state, and age. Oh, I know I will age, I am just not going to sit here and wait for it to happen. I have decided that I am moving-I know. I know, I don't want to do any more of that right now, but by the time I am ready to, these past two weeks will be a distant memory. I am going to get the current place ready to sell, should be done by spring. I have no idea what town I will go to, H says whatever I want, right now I want an apartment. I am tired of all the upkeep and bullshit that goes with home-ownership, so I am pretty much open to anything. I want to get rid of alot of un-necessary possessions, I feel a need to downsize. We all know how hard that is to do, but not impossible. I have to quit being a storage unit for my kids, all of them have left items here due to a lack of space in their places, but they will have to find a way to keep it or get rid of it. The first plan is to finish the stairway painting, and tear up the master bedroom, rip out carpet, restore wood floors. Labor intensive, but easy on the budget-plus century old wood floors are beautiful. But not today, because I can hardly move. I am afraid my day will be spent on the couch, I always pay for too much physical activity. But soon, very soon.

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