Friday, September 29, 2006

Out of touch with the real world

I want to move---really, after all of the moving that I have done and am still doing for the kiddo's, you would think that i wouldn't want any part of that, now wouldn't you? But I do. I want to move to a small place, a new place, a bright place. I am tired of living so far from the real world, so far from everything, I feel totally out of touch with all the world. I know that H isn't interested, however, I think he will do it if I really want to. The thought of all that would be involved really hurts, but I really am tired of being here. This house is more than 100 years old, and while i have always liked that, I am tired of all that is required to keep up with it. As it is, we will never finish the stairway--most of the 60 year old wall paper has been stripped away, but the patching and painting that we have to do seems impossible, plus it goes all the way up - three stories, and no real way to get up there. It would really take some time to get this into sale condition, but I think that we could make a little money-a few thousand (or more) than we owe on it. Something to think about. We could perhaps spend the winter getting it all ready to go, and move in the spring. I have got to do something about my sisters house also, I have to get out from under that one, or I will never get another mortgage loan. We have got to get going on all of this.

I am tired today, what else is new? It is Friday at least, and I don't work tomorrow, although working would be easier than the moving that we have to finish. H is off tomorrow also, although once again his day off will be used up helping kids. I know he is tired, he LOOKS tired, I worry about him. His health has always been taken for granted, I am the one that always has health problems, but something is going on with him, and it really scares me. I hope the dr's are on the right track. Time will tell.

Time to get going for my daily trip to the salt mines---I think I am just bored with things in general, even my job that I have always loved is boring the hell out of me. I need something new - and I need to be very careful. When I get this way, I have the ability to ruin things that i didn't mean to ruin-you know, i have been guilty of throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

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