Saturday, September 23, 2006
Saturday morning and I don't have to go to the garage today, or to the ics. I am not hungover, necessarily tired, or pissed at myself for throwing away too much hard earned money last night. Sounds like a good morning, right? Wrong. I didn't get to go out last night and let loose of all the bullshit that I have been carrying with me for the past week, and there is nothing I'd rather do more than throw away hard earned money on the long shot of turning it into more. The hangover I am happy not to have, but oh, those few hours of I don't give a shitness are a wonderful thing. A lifesaving thing, really. I planned not to go out last night, given the strain on my poor budget recently, as well as the fact that I still really am not well. However, it certainly sucked, not to go. I did spend my day yesterday at the ics, also looking for an apt with D, since the big conversation with her H went absolutely nowhere. We did find one, it a place that makes me happy, at least it is a safe place for a young single girl to be. I have no idea how she will afford it, and that worries me. But first, I guess we need to get her moved in. That will happen next weekend. Today is the move for YS. Heaven knows I am excited about it-especially since it's currently raining pretty good. I spent all of last evening driving all over hell for him, that was fun. I felt that it would be a good alternative to deciding how to go out anyway, and it was at least that. By the time i got home I was too tired and pissy to care about going out, a couple of brown bottles later, I felt okay. My poor husband is moving a kid, one more time....he seriously is a saint, times like this I really am aware of how great he really is. I mean, I know it all the time but in the course of day to day life, I rarely sit and marvel at the goodness of him, but then on these stressful, trying times, when he never complains, just loads (and unloads) another truck, I really, really am grateful. I did have to pay D's deposit on the new apt, but at least it was way less than the deposit for YS. I did see OS yesterday, also. I don't see or hear from him as much, he is currently not in a crisis, although he has had his moments in the past. Of the three, he is the calmest, the quietest, the most giving. I think he really cares about me, even when he doesn't need anything from me. He usually has a way of making me feel better, which i find pretty odd, given that I am his mother. I guess I'd better get my day going, it's late (for me) and I have alot to do. Heaven help me get through this day.