I woke up this morning in unbelievable pain. No apparent reason, nothing different, just pain of the astronomical variety. I am now waiting for the drugs to take it away, but am beginning to think that won't happen this time, this pain is too great. I do have another type of pain drug in the locked drawer that I have only tried once, it was too powerful. This day may be the perfect time for a second trial. I can handle pain, I can take alot. I can push through it daily, or I wouldn't be able to do anything. When I say I have bad pain, believe me, it's bad. And this morning? B.A.D.
So yesterday, I ended up working even though I said I wouldn't. I really don't mind working on Saturday's, the office is quiet and I can get alot done. And I did. I do need some physical help there, I am going to clean out years of files from the cabinets and move them upstairs. I started that job, but soon discovered that I am not strong enough or sturdy enough to lift the boxes out of the way once full. So one day soon I will finish that job. Otherwise, I completed a couple of quarterly reports and some other paperwork. I left there around two and did a little grocery shopping, came home and put it away and then went to the gym. I didn't have my usual energy but I struggled along as best I could. I was happy to see my apartment last evening. The kitties were happy to see me.
Today, I am supposed to see my oldest child and her youngest, assuming that I can stay upright and right now, that is questionable. My apartment is covered in kitty litter and I have got to vacuum and clean a little. Otherwise, I am free as a bird and I like that. I have so many things I want to do, but it seems that my time at home is spent sleeping or laying down, way too much. Oh how I would give anything to be normal, physically. I often imagine how wonderful that would be, and the amount of stuff I could get done daily would amaze even me. But there in no point in even thinking that way, I have accepted that is never to be, not anymore. Some days the pushing and prodding and talking to myself just to accomplish anything gets a little much. But, I will continue, because to stop would be giving in, and heaven knows I can never do that.
Later, friends. :)
So yesterday, I ended up working even though I said I wouldn't. I really don't mind working on Saturday's, the office is quiet and I can get alot done. And I did. I do need some physical help there, I am going to clean out years of files from the cabinets and move them upstairs. I started that job, but soon discovered that I am not strong enough or sturdy enough to lift the boxes out of the way once full. So one day soon I will finish that job. Otherwise, I completed a couple of quarterly reports and some other paperwork. I left there around two and did a little grocery shopping, came home and put it away and then went to the gym. I didn't have my usual energy but I struggled along as best I could. I was happy to see my apartment last evening. The kitties were happy to see me.
Today, I am supposed to see my oldest child and her youngest, assuming that I can stay upright and right now, that is questionable. My apartment is covered in kitty litter and I have got to vacuum and clean a little. Otherwise, I am free as a bird and I like that. I have so many things I want to do, but it seems that my time at home is spent sleeping or laying down, way too much. Oh how I would give anything to be normal, physically. I often imagine how wonderful that would be, and the amount of stuff I could get done daily would amaze even me. But there in no point in even thinking that way, I have accepted that is never to be, not anymore. Some days the pushing and prodding and talking to myself just to accomplish anything gets a little much. But, I will continue, because to stop would be giving in, and heaven knows I can never do that.
Later, friends. :)
