Thursday, January 12, 2017

Random -- Really.Really Random

It's cold in this place today, although I haven't moved the thermostat in ages, so it's the same 67 degrees that it always is. (Yes, I know that is cool but you take the meds I take and let's talk temperature).

Actually, living on the top floor of this concrete building, not much energy is used to keep this place running along at that temperature -- in the winter,it has to be very cold outside to cause the furnace to kick on. I mean really cold, like near zero and high winds.... otherwise, the apartments below us pretty much heat our place. However, it is a way different story in the summer months, lol..

My daughter and her four kiddoes were here all morning --- oh my gosh, I worship those kids. They are my heart all over again, just like my own kids were. It's amazing how wonderful having grandkids is. Seriously.

On Wednesdays, I keep my son's oldest boy -- Wrigley. (Yes, his parents are DIE HARD CUBS FANS) (Their youngest, the four month old, is named Maddux, so yeah, BIG CUB FANS.) But anyway -- I have the three year old, Wrigs, each Wednesday, and while it tears me up pain-wise, I wouldn't give that day up for anything. He and I have such fun --- and it gets better each week. Yes, God has blessed me with such joyous grand children.

My Bone Growth Stimulaor has finally been approved by my AWFUL, AWFUL insurance company, so I should be getting it soon. I am NOT looking forward to using it at all, but if it will help me, bring it on. I have had enough of the waiting.

My heart is heavy today and I am trying not to think about the news my daughter gave me today -- they will be leaving for North Dakota in the next couple of weeks - her husband's job keeps them traveling and up to now, it has only been in-state. I knew, of course, that they would have to leave someday --- somewhere further away but I have avoided thinking seriously about that. Now I am faced with the reality and it's all I can do not to cry. Yes, I will miss my daughter, we have become very close these past few years. But OMGosh, losing those kids will honestly kill me. Again, I knew. They bought a semi-sized camper and a one ton truck just for this purpose. She pulled the oldest boys out of school two years ago and homeschools them for this purpose. But my heart feels like it's all new news and I think I may have a panic attack. Good heavens, Jamie, get a grip!

My kitties are driving me up the wall, daily. We have three. They are beautiful, spoiled rotten kitties. They create mess after mess after mess. If I didn't have kitties, I would have about 80% less housework to do. But, since I cannot tolerate cat hair, it's daily sweeping, very frequent vacuuming. de-hairing the blankets, furniture, etc.... all the effing time. Tonka and Meisha are fat cats that are happy, playful and loving. Mason, who is 17 in a couple of weeks, has very quickly become quite ill and there is nothing that can be done for him. A few years ago, the vet told us that his kidneys were failing and with time, it would cause his demise. We put him on the kidney diet then and he's lived way longer than the vet indicated was normal for his troubles. But the end is near -- the poor baby has always weighed 13 pounds, he now weighs just over 8. He is nothing but bones, can eat about a tbsp of food at a time, sleeps for hours and wakes to eat another tablespoon. We feed him all day and all night, whenever he cries for food and it is often and around the clock. I am very grateful that I have such a wonderful husband that loves them as much as I do -- he gets up with Mason as much if not more than I and feeds him. I feel very sure that one day soon Mason will lay down to sleep and not wake again. I dread it but also want it to happen before we have to make that decision. He is not in pain yet but I can tell that he is often cold --- and it looks like his old skinny bones just might hurt, he will only lay in the softest of areas in the house, and I cover him most of the time. I love having pets --- both cats and dogs but I am so tired of losing them. I know it's a part of it, but the heartache gets worse as I age and I just can't take it anymore.

Enough. Time for pain meds, time for rest.

Peace. Out.

J.

2 comments:

Coffeypot said...

IF you and your daughter are on Facebook, you can talk to each other through the camera feture there. There are other ways to spend face time, so you can still see her and the grands.

Just J said...

Thank you so much for the updates. I am praying that bone growth stimulator works its magic. Thank God they approved it so you can give it a try! It's a beginning.

I know how much you cherish this time with your grandkids while they are still young, and I am sad for you that your daughter's family will soon be moving some distance away. I remember when she was pregnant for the first time! The good part is that with today's technology you can at least do face time, and interact as often as you want, but I know it's not the same as being able to wrap them up in hugs and loves. Your Wednesdays with Wrigley sound precious, wonderful memories he will treasure always.

I know exactly what you mean about cats and housework. We have four, all with longer hair, and our house is always soft and furry, despite my best/kinda good efforts to keep it defurred. Sophie is 13 and proved the vet wrong when he thought she had a tumor on her neck. We declined to have it removed and in time it went totally away. She sleeps more now in her old age, but rules the house with a soft paw, getting by with pretty much anything she wants to and even has her own room when she wants some space from her more rowdy siblings. My heart goes out to you with Mason, I remember him too! It is just heartbreaking to watch them slip away. We had to help Stormy cross the bridge at 16, I cried for days before and after. If only they could live longer, but we give them a lifetime of love, and they bless our lives in return.

You hang tight there kid, better days are coming, I keep you surrounded with my love and prayers. XOXO, Just J :-)